As an example, imagine just for a minute you need to wash a load of clothes, for most this would be a simple task, put the dirty laundry in turn the washing machine on and you are done. But for someone struggling with the big O, it might sound a bit more like this; you load the washer, then take the clothes back out because they were not right and then you reload the washer and it still is not right so maybe if you are lucky enough by the fourth time you are actually able to turn the washer on. As crazy as this may sound, this is just one small example of the many repetitive tasks in the life of a person with OCD.

You set out on what for most would be a simple walk, as you begin to take your walk, all starts well but then a sudden rush comes over you and you have to back up from the starting point and start again, that simple walk around the block that would take most people 5 minutes could take someone struggling with OCD a half hour or more. Dishes, sweeping, typing, brushing their teeth, washing their hands, shopping, every task to someone with OCD is like a grueling hard day's work over and over again. This is just a small look into the daily life of someone suffering from OCD.

Why is this done, well, for someone suffering with OCD, if these rituals are not done, then the fear of something terrible happening either to them or to the ones they love is so enormous that it trumps any logic our brain conceives. In a sense, people living with OCD are warriors of sorts in their own minds, feeling as though by their thoughts or actions they can stop or for use of a better description control what will happen. Now imagine living with this disease and hiding it from others as well, not only are you living in a constant state of pain but knowing that you can not stop this coupled with the embarrassment and shame of trying to hide it from those you love is utter madness. When I say pain, once again

How do I know this, I suffered for years from this disease, and my daughter now suffers as well.

I however was cured, not thru therapy, but thru a life tragedy that finally made me realize that know one has that type of control. For this reason I am writing a book in hopes to share my story with others and hopefully help others who suffer from this. My daughter still continues to suffer probably with what I would say what is a more severe case then mine. I do what I can to help her, she has sought out professional help but it is a struggle, it drains her daily of her energy, it is agonizing for me not only as her mom but as someone who has been there to see her go thru this.

For those who suffer from this know that you can beat this, you can get your life back, it is not easy, it is a battle, but you can win this battle. My struggle with OCD began when I was about 12 years old, it lasted for over 25 years, in the midst of my battle I developed complex spinal problems and I am sure the years of stress placed on my body from the OCD played a role in the deterioration of my spine. I feel fortunate today not only to have conquered OCD but I am also blessed to have a fantastic group of doctors keeping my spine in tact. I am currently recovering from an ACDF which saved from being paralyzed. We all have many things in our lives to be thankful for, but so often and so easily we let daily stresses ans worries stand in the way of our happiness. One of my favorite quotes from Wayne Dyer sums it up best. "When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change".

However, researchers did conduct studies on affected and unaffected patients (by OCD) and found that those affected showed 'reduced activity' than those unaffected. Scientists encourage friends of those exhibting symptoms to get help as early treatment can help. So here we have it- OCD can really harm you.

Source

27 06 2008

 Our actions must be founded on what we know to be true from God’s Word, and that what is being directed us  personally to each one of us by the Holy Spirit, and to do that we all still do need to continually in reality live a Holy Sprit filled life. it starts by daily reading the Bible, having a Bible devotional, and sadly even most pastors do not do that too.

by Steve Wohlberg

Romans 11:26 says, "And so all Israel will be saved." What does this mean?

Obviously, it doesn't mean every Jew will be saved. In fact, the same chapter says God hopes to "save some of them" (vs. 14). Judas was a Jew, yet we know he will be lost for betraying Christ. Jesus called him, "the son of perdition" (John 17:12). Jesus told many Jews, "If you do not believe I am He [the Messiah], you will die in your sins" (John 8:24). Not every Jew believes in Jesus Christ, thus many will "die in their sins" and be lost.

Many Christians today interpret Romans 11:26 as applying to the end of the seven-year tribulation when Jesus appears in the clouds at His Second Coming. In other words, they don't apply the verse to all Jews throughout history, but only to "all Jews" who are alive at the end. Supposedly, at the end of the tribulation, all remaining Jews in Israel will look up, see Christ coming in the clouds, realize He is the true Messiah, believe in Him, and thus "All Israel will be saved."

This is a false teaching, as I will attempt to show.

1. First, the context of Romans 11 is not the Second Coming.
2. "There is no partiality with God" (Romans 2:5-11). It would be an act of partiality to save "all Jews" at the end, but not "all Jews" in history. The idea is, "When all final Jews see Christ coming in the clouds, then they will believe." But this would give those final Jews a supposedly irresistible opportunity to believe in Jesus Christ which past Jews have not had. Nor would this be fair to "all Gentiles" living at the end. Why would God save all Jews at the end but not all Gentiles? All Gentiles will see Jesus coming just like all Jews.
3. When Christ finally appears in the clouds, IT'S TOO LATE TO BELIEVE IN HIM. Rev. 22:11,12 says that before He comes in the clouds, all decisions have already been made. Jesus said it will be like Noah's day (Mat. 24:37-39). In Noah's day the door of the ark closed before the flood came (Gen. 7:16). When the flood came, it was too late. To save all Jews AT THE SECOND COMING would be like saving all those outside the ark WHEN THE RAIN STARTED FALLING.
4. When Jesus comes in the clouds, this is the time of judgment upon ALL unbelievers who don't know God nor obey the gospel (2 Thess. 1:7-10; Jude 14,15).

So what does this mean, "All Israel shall be saved"? First of all, Romans 9:6 says there are two Israels. one is an Israel according to the flesh (Romans 9:3,4) and the other is the Israel of God (Galatians 6:14-16). The Israel of God is composed of both Jews and Gentiles who believe in Jesus Christ (Gal. 3:29). Gentiles who believe are grafted in. They become part of the "same body" with believing Jews (Eph. 3:6). Paul calls this unity of believing Jews and Gentiles, "the mystery of Christ" (Eph. 3:4).

The immediate context of Romans 11:26 is vs. 25. When "the fullness of the Gentiles has come in," then "all Israel will be saved." Or, to be exact, "And so all Israel will be saved." In other words, the coming in of the fullness or total number of the Gentiles results in "all Israel" being saved. Paul's idea seems to be that when all Gentiles (totally, throughout history) have come in, that is, have been grafted into the Vine, they, uniting with all Jews who have become believers, will form the total number of the saved. Paul also reveals that when Gentiles come in, God can use this to motivate some Jews to believe (verses 11 & 14). Vs. 25 calls this whole thing, "this mystery," which we have already proven to be the "mystery" of both Jews and Gentiles being united in one body through Christ (Eph. 3:4,6). Vs. 27 says all are saved because Christ takes away their sins through His covenant, which must be the New Covenant, which applies to all believers, Jew and Gentile. Thus the "all Israel" that is saved is the total group of believing Gentiles and Jews combined.

The "all Israel that is saved" does not apply to all Jews throughout history, nor can it apply to a select favored group who become instant believers when Jesus Christ comes crashing down through the sky. By that time, it is too late to believe.

http://www.whitehorsemedia.com/articles/details.cfm?art=54

 http://www.whitehorsemedia.com/articles/details.cfm?art=24

http://www.whitehorsemedia.com/articles/details.cfm?art=25

http://www.whitehorsemedia.com/articles/details.cfm?art=56

do see also http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/24/who-rules-your-rulers-god-himself/

http://anyonecare.wordpress.com/2008/07/29/the-2-promised-returns/

I can't stand me! The reason I can't stand me mostly has to do with my obsessive tendencies. Seriously... I'm borderline stalkerish when it comes to people (particularly those that I like), and I'm borderline OCD when it comes to Solitaire. I purposely put myself in situations where I might get to see or hear about so and so, and even when I'm not in those situations I'm thinking about them. It's really quite frustrating. I don't want to be a stalker. I should just stop talking to boys. I should just stop looking at boys. I should just stop living in a world that has boys. That doesn't work so well though... it would pretty much require me to die. *sigh* when it comes to solitaire, I play for hours and hours just so I can end the game with a positive score (because I play on cumulative score, and I lose a lot.)

I just want to be free of this! What's the female form of a eunuch? Maybe I should be one of those.

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pre-edit

cause I know this is just me being emotional, and probably tired, I don't think you should worry about me. God has blessed me with this understanding that I am free from all this sin. Christ died so I can be free from this disease of self. I just need to accept it, and live accordingly, which is hard to do when my focus is on me and not God. I think I like it a lot better when I'm writing incredible posts and poems when my spiritual walk is going really well, but I guess I'll let you see me weak too. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Oh yeah... pretty much every post I write is a prayer request :-) Thanks

Last night was interesting.  The Guitar Guy saga is already sort of going stale at this point, but it's important for me to say that for the past three months, the flirtation going on there has been a collection of some of the sexiest, most intense moments I've ever experienced, and it's really tragic that 

• a.) he has a girlfriend 
  
• b.) he now knows that I know about her and
  
• c.) that I launched this blog after all the good stuff

Last night, it seemed like things were finally going to ramp back up to normal.  That's really all I can hope for now, is that things end on a good note, rather than the initial happy-ending I wanted that involved an empty box of Trojans and several variations of the verb "to worship."

So, when, at the beginning of the evening, he came to order food from me, and did it by walking at me until I was against a wall, and we stood nearly nose-to-nose, speaking about perfectly polite things, such as whether there would be bacon on the hamburgers, but with under-toned smiles that suggested so much more.

He asked me if he should pay right then, and I told him it was up to him, and then basically made the decision for him by taking his credit card.  I think, in retrospect, that he wanted to drag out the process so he'd have further excuses to come talk to me, but honestly, we should be beyond that point by now, and were before the Great Revelation.  

He said, "Just make sure you bring it back to me," and I responded, "I always do," with a bit of confusion.  He muttered something about having to chase me around for it, and I turned around, holding the card to my chest and said, "Would you?"

He flashed me a smile, and assured me, "you bet."

So, that all went off without a hitch, and I danced around the first band set of the evening, thrilled with the indication that things were going back to the way they were, and should be, all the while flashing (and receiving) sex eyes to the stage.

When one of the back-up singers ordered from me a little later, I hurried her order so I would have an excuse to see him, but when I got backstage to drop it off to her, he looked slightly dejected, and handed me my credit slip, letting me know that he was just on his way down to give it to me.  

I suppose there would've been more banter if he'd made it to the deserted side station rather than having to hand it to me in the well-lit green room, but, yeah, he doesn't need an excuse to come hit on me, and he should know that.

So, a bit irritated, I went to the bar to put in more orders, and was standing at the computer, with my back to the bar while he stood at the bar with his back to me, getting water from the no-nonsense Lead Bartender, a short, black woman with very little use for romantic ideals or people who move slowly or without efficiency.  

I didn't hear this, because I was pissed off and distracted, but apparently she handed him his water, pointed to me, and said, "You two back together yet?"

Now, that's enough to make me die by vaporization.  Who told her?  No one?  We're that obvious?  What?

But, apparently (and mercifully), his response was to be startled, then immediately slightly amused, and he responded, "Oh, no ... not quite yet."

If you'll allow me to bullet point again, this is awesome because

• a.) He didn't even attempt to pretend that he didn't know what she was talking about
• b.) he was amused, not horrified
• c.) he used the modifier "yet."  This is exactly the answer I would've given.

However, I spent the next several hours obsessively demanding more detail from the waitress that overheard the exchange and reported it to me.  I feared that this confrontation would freak him out and distance him more, etc. etc. etc.

True to form, the eye contact was slightly more restrained for the remainder of the night.  Not as bad as Tuesday's absurd "look, get caught, jump, stare and the ground for the next ten minutes" routine, but not to full scale by any means.

At the end of the night, when he was all packed up and ready to go, I dawdled around so I could say goodbye.  He tried to disregard me, so I stood and waited for him to turn and acknowledge me, and I said, "are you taking off?"

A bit stupidly, he joked, "Taking off my clothes?" and I said, "What right here?" 

He laughed and said, "A little later on.  It's a private show."  

"Oh," I said, cracking a smile.  "Is that an invitation?"

Which clearly startled him (two points for me), and he started muttering some nonsense about getting paid off by a table, which I asked if it was one of mine, and then upon confirmation said that it usually is.

Out of mercy, I cut him off before he could ramble any more ridiculousness, and asked him if he were taking off for the weekend, which is what I originally meant.  He said no, that he'd be there on Saturday, and I said,

"Good.  I only ask because I'm leaving in two weeks."

"I know," he said, "It's sad."  and I shrugged, wanting to let him know that it doesn't necessarily have to be.

"Well, if I don't see you -," I said, and hugged him.  It was important for me to get a hug in there, as we used to hug constantly and inappropriately before the Great Revelation, but hadn't since.  So, this was the first one.

He told me he was going to stick around and have a drink.  So, I wrapped up quickly and hung out downstairs while he drank and talked to EVERYONE IN THE ROOM BUT ME.

This marginally irritated me until he mentioned to my roommate (who is a Libra, and it was relevant to the conversation) that both of his parents are Libras, and then while she was responding, muttered under his breath, "As is my current girlfriend."

At this point, I snapped, "Okay, time to go," and grabbed my bag, grabbed my roommate, and swung out of the club.  I hope he feels like a dunce about it.  It's really unfortunate every time I realize just how human he is and just how nervous I make him.  

It's hotter to feel like there's this supernaturally sexy guitar player who wants me, and that's the most complicated thing about it.

Jenna and I got home, and then drank wine and talked about other lost opportunities to Gwags, that have always ended in too-little-too-late scenarios on their parts, where years later they confess to wanting us so badly then but how they tried to "do the right thing," blah blah blah.  

I'm still kind of dejected about the whole thing, but at least, since it's the Other Guitarist tonight, I'll be able to focus on making money and not obsessing over making out.