Fakt, że gra i śpiewa w Blonde Redhead, zespole, który również lubię, a który nawiązuje do no wave, postrocka i noise popu tylko dodaje i tak już wystarczających zalet. Czy mówiłem już, że jestem fanbojem? Niewystarczająco, chyba.

Kiedy trzeba, muzyka jest delikatna, w innych przypadkach głośniejsza. Oparta o dosyć skomplikowane struktury muzyczne i nie znudzi po dwóch przesłuchaniach. Ma emocje i nie starzeje się mimo, że przypomina mi czasy, kiedy byłem nastolatkiem.

Oceńcie sami.

These are top 3 on my list not only because of its amazing food and service, but also because of the memories that I've forged there on previous occasions. The 3 top restaurant suggestions for Valentine's Day would be Harry's @ Holland Village, Kazu Sumiyaki Restaurant and Corduroy & Finch.

1. Harry's @ Holland Village
27 Lorong Mambong
Holland Village
Tel: 6467 4222

I first went to Harry's @ Holland Village only because of my friend Derrick, who performs live every Thursday or Friday nights, 9:30pm at Harry's. It's a great place to be if both you and your partner love music coupled with an energetic crowd (of mostly expatriates). I tried their Fish and Chips, it was excellent. I never fail to have fun whenever I go to Harry's @ Holland Village. I rate them an overall 4 over 5 Stars.

2. Kazu Sumiyaki Restaurant
5 Koek Road
#04-05 Cuppage Plaza
Tel: 6734 2492

Unfortunately, I could not find any photos of this place and I didn't take many photos when I was there. My boyfriend brought me here for my birthday last year. He told the chef to surprise me with a "birthday day ice cream creation". The service here is top notch. It was a perfect evening filled with smiles and great food. The foie gras, BBQ beef and garlic rice were superb. Even the BBQ corn was out of this world. Most importantly, it is a really intimate place and it has a very authentic and romantic aura to it. I rate them an overall 5 over 5 Stars.

3. Corduroy & Finch
779 Bukit Timah Road
Tel: 6762 0131

The food is great and they serve desserts like "Handsome Strawberries" - which are actually strawberries dipped in chocolate that look like tuxedos. Most important of all, my boyfriend and I will be celebrating our Valentine's Day at Corduroy & Finch. I am really looking forward to that. For now, I rate them an overall 4.5 over 5 Stars. Let's see if their ratings improve after the 14th of February.

:D

For the first time in days I decided to go out of the apartment and swim back to reality. It wasn't easy but somehow it felt really good to be outside. To feel the cool breeze on my face, the warm sun touching my skin and all that jazz. I woke up at 1pm and left around 3. And I just couldn't stop smiling while I was walking. I guess watching Densha Otoko really got to me. Usually, whenever I go out, my face is blank and I don't ever look at other people's faces. I also had an insane fear of sales clerks. I panic when they come near me. I know, it's strange but I'm really scared of them. But somehow, today that fear vanished. I was Little Miss Sunshine the whole day! I smiled at people and I said thank you to the waitresses, the sales clerks, the security guards etc. in a very sweet way which I've never ever done before. All I did was shop for food and drinks. Nothing major, just some bottled juice, canned ice cream sodas and instant noodles. Afterwards, I got some takeout from a Japanese cafe and headed to the movie theater. I watched a chick-flick called "27 Dresses" starring Grey's Anatomy's Katherine Heigl. I'm not really into chick flicks but I watch every type of movie there is...And it's been a while since I watched a chick-flick. Anyway, it was nothing special but it was pleasant enough. Katherine's character was the exact opposite of me in terms of personality and hobbies. She was cute, friendly and bubbly and I'm the opposite. She loves going to weddings while I, on the other hand, hate weddings. Of course, I occasionally have girly dreams of getting married someday but I really hate attending other people's weddings. But I could relate with Katherine's character in a way, because she's also an otaku. Well, as I've said before, being an otaku could be applied to any type of obsession and Katherine's character, Jane, was obsessed with weddings. She dedicated her life to weddings. She's really just like me. I dedicated my life to watching anime, dramas and movies. People may think I'm strange and that I should try having "a life" but I'm happy doing this. And the same thing goes for Jane. People think a pretty girl like her shouldn't be wasting her life obsessing about other people's weddings but she's happy doing what she does and other people's opinions doesn't matter to her. I could also relate to her regarding the fact that she's hopelessly in-love with a man who would never even look at her. Unrequited love is such a pain in the ass but, sad to say, I'm a member of "Unrequited love club." Jane loved her boss because he was really good to her and he's her dream guy and good friend. But he only sees her as a sister and a friend and he will never ever see her as a woman. All I can say is that: Been there, done that. I felt the exact same to thing towards my bestfriend Kazu. In fact, he's the reason I left Japan. But I'll get to that later. Anyway, the movie was not as funny as "Knocked up" or "The 40 Year old virgin" (Which is a movie about a fellow otaku) but it has quite a lot of laughs. Katherine Heigl has always been fun to watch. She can do comedy as well as she can do drama. But most of the wittiest and funniest lines came from her bestfriend KC. All in all, the movie was nice enough for me. But the highlight of this night was the Japanese burger I ate while watching the movie. It was seriously the most scrumptious burger I have ever eaten!

After the movie, I went straight home. And of all things that could possibly happen, I got an email from Kazu. And the smile on my face vanished completely. I really wanted to forget about him. I never intended to like him. We were really good friends. He was one of those really good looking nice guys. He had a girlfriend when I met him that's why I never thought I would fall for him. But unfortunately, I did.

I met Kazu more than a year ago when I worked for an IT company as a graphic designer. He was a web programmer and although he's not an otaku, his personality is exactly like mine. He came to that company, a month after I did. I remember the first day I saw him like it was yesterday. I came into the office and a tall guy was sitting at the desk opposite mine. His back was facing me and he was wearing a baseball cap so I couldn't see his face. I completely ignored him. I sat down as if I didn't see anything. When our manager introduced him to us as the newest member of our team, I just nodded at his direction. I barely looked at his face. But I did notice that he was quite good-looking. Come to think of it, he kinda resembles Takizawa Hideaki. Well, I guess, that's why all the girls at the office was giving him so much attention. But despite his good-looks and all the attention he was getting, he was a really shy and quiet guy. It took him weeks before he was able to talk to me. But when he did, I found out that we had so much in common. The food we like, the kind of movies we love watching, our zodiac signs, our mannerisms, and other preferences are exactly the same. One could say that he's the male version of me. The only difference is that he's not an otaku. I have always wanted to have a big brother and Kazu was exactly like that to me. We always went out drinking. I tell him all of my problems and he was always there to listen. He even stays at my apartment sometimes and we would drink and talk all night and we would sleep on the same bed. H even borrows my t-shirts when he's there. He was like a real brother to me. Anyway, since all my friends are guys, I never felt awkward around him. But when he broke up with his girlfriend, the girls at the office started to make their moves on him. They shamelessly flirted with him and they wouldn't even let him spend time with me anymore. They would literally drag him away from when they see us talking. It was like, I was a threat to them. They even gave me evil looks. The girls at the office were never nice to me because of me being an otaku but they were beyond mean during those times. But I ignored them all. I'm not their rival or anything so I shouldn't be affected by their evil stares. But then one of them, Rika, was really sweet and nice to Kazu. And she was even friendly towards me and all our guy friends. She would bring food to the office and share it with all of us and she brought a bento for Kazu everyday. She wasn't pretty but she's cute, bubbly and charming and she really loved clinging onto Kazu. And soon, she and Kazu became really really close. They were always together and it felt like there was no room for me anymore. And that's when I felt the excruciating pain in my chest. It really hurts. I've never felt anything like it before. I wanted to shout and cry whenever I saw them together. I felt really miserable. And that's when I realized that I'm in-love with Kazu. But because I was coward, I kept my feelings to myself. I never told anyone about it. I was afraid that if Kazu finds out how I feel for him, I would lose him forever. I don't care if I'm just his friend. At least that way I could stay by his side. I tried to fall out of love but he made it really hard for me to do that. Whenever I tried to distance myself from him, he suddenly does something really nice for me. He and Rika never became a couple because Kazu really loves his ex-girlfriend and he was determined to get her back. His determination to win her heart, drove the stake deeper into my heart. It was painful watching him chase after this girl who probably doesn't even care about him. It was too painful. And I knew I've reached my limit. And so I decided to leave. I'm a coward. All I could do was run away. I'm not sweet, bubbly and perky. I can never be like those girls who are crazy about him. I couldn't even tell him how I feel. I was so scared, clueless and completely hopeless. I told him that I was leaving soon because of a job offer. The night before I left, we went drinking with the other guys. It was beautiful night. I felt a sudden need to get some fresh air so I rode my bike and went to the beach. I stopped to look at the night sky. Then I noticed that someone else was there. Kazu said he was worried about me so he followed me. We rode the bike together and went biking for hours. It felt like an eternity. We talked about all sorts of things. Some made sense some didn't but we didn't really care. When the night was over Kazu went to bed but I stayed outside and cried for hours. And the next day, I left without saying goodbye to anyone. No one even knew that I was leaving that day. I couldn't say goodbye to him. I tried the night before but he refused to believe that I won't be seeing him ever again. He said "See you later" and he had a smile on his face.

After I left Japan, I never contacted him. I completely cut ties with him. I thought forgetting him would be easier if I just pretend that he never existed. But it wasn't that easy. Everytime I watch a drama, I see him as the leading man. But a few months and hundreds of anime and dramas later, I was finally beginning to get over him. Until today, when he decided to send me an email. All of my memories of him started pouring in when I read his email. And it was just too much to handle. I felt like I couldn't breathe and tears just wouldn't stop falling down my cheeks. I wanted to ignore the email but if I do he'll just get worried and email me again. So I replied to his email and tried to properly say goodbye to him. I thanked him for everything and told him that I would never ever see him again. But he didn't take it seriously. He took it as a joke and he still refused to believe that I'm never going to see him. He cracked up some jokes and said that line again "See you later". So I had no choice and I did something that I know I would regret forever. I sent him an email and said a lot of really horrible things to him. It was an email full of lies. I just tried to sound like the most pathetic and hateful person in the planet. I thought, if he hated me, I'd finally be able to let go of him. I waited for his reply as if I was in death-row, waiting to be executed. And when he replied, my knees felt really weak and I felt like I lost every bit of strength I have in my body. His reply was very casual...too casual. He said goodbye to me as if I'm a complete stranger. I could see through his lie. We are alike, after all. He hid all his anger and disappointment behind a mask and tried to sound indifferent towards me. But I knew how he felt and I knew that now, our friendship is really over. I would never see him again, I would never hear from him again, he's completely erased from my life. And even though that's what I wanted to happen, it felt horrible. There's no turning back. He's really gone. It hurts. I feel so weak. Why does reality hurt so bad? I hate reality. In my fantasy world of anime and dramas, I get to be whoever I want to be. I could have a happy ending whenever I want it. But in real life, things are not that easy. Real tears are really painful. It's my first day back to reality after being shut inside my make-believe world for days and this is what I get. This unbelievable pain and sadness. I hate reality. Please save me from it.

End of Day Three.

In one of my earliest posts I reviewed an illustrated novel that draws a connection between magic and early film history. While reading I immediately thought of my friend Kazunari because he’s a skilled magician and because of his maniacal passion for film.

In the last two years, Kazu has been one of my best buddies. He has a natural love of bringing people together to have fun. At any moment he’ll regale the table with his card tricks, and he’s always game for an evening of karaoke. We must have logged hundreds of hours in karaoke rooms. While my voice lends itself to jazz standards, he sounds like a white British soul singer.

He’s also my personal movie rental store. From his vast collection of DVDs, he lends me movies every week. I don’t even choose. He comes up to me and says, “I got something for you.” It could be a terrible but entertaining B movie about female assassins, or it could be a highbrow, stylized film about a hitman.

Like me, Kazu has lived in four countries, but paradoxically he’s one of the least well-traveled people I know. Born in Switzerland, he mostly grew up in Paris, with a short stint in Berkeley, California, and a longer stay in Japan. But he’s never really extensively traveled outside the cities in which he lived. When I asked him about this he told me that he didn’t enjoy flying and that he’s a homebody in general. It’s the paradox of the Magic Man, a worldly homebody I nicknamed Kazmatazz.

The following is an interview, a conversation via several media.

How did you get into magic?

I carried around a deck of cards for weeks intending to learn but didn’t do anything about it. Finally I met a magician who taught me a few tricks and then I ignored everything for a year and just focused on learning and practicing.

You mean you dropped everything?

Yeah, I didn’t attend classes. I almost failed university that year. It was crazy, but it was what I was into.

You’re also a little obsessed with movies. How many DVDs do you have?

Hundreds. Including TV shows? Who knows.

Do you have any favorites?

Pulp Fiction for the dialog. Smoke, Good Will Hunting. Heat. Walk the Line. I like movies with good dialog.

Alright, so tell me about Switzerland.

I was born in Geneva in 1978. I would have been Swiss if my father had forgotten to run to city hall and tell the Swiss government that his first born son was Japanese. That’s right, apparently if you are born on Swiss soil you automatically become Swiss if you don’t declare anything within a month.

What do you remember about those first years?

I don’t have much memory of Geneva since I was only a baby, but in a weird way every time I go there a strange comfortable feeling possesses me.

How old were you when you moved to Paris?

When I was 3 my father got hired by a French car company, so we had to move to France.

Do you remember anything about those early years?

Yeah, I remember stuff like being friends with a Vietnamese boy who couldn’t speak a word of French

Then you moved to California?

After 5 years in Paris, my father was transferred to the US for two years so we moved with him to California when I was 8.

That must have been hard for you to move around so much?

For a kid, it means going to a new school with a different school system and classes, a new rhythm of life, leaving your friends, making new friends and so on. You don’t learn the same history, you don’t read the same books and you definitely don’t speak the same language.

Did you like living in Berkeley?

California was cool. I went to school until 3 or 4 o’clock and then it was tennis, swimming and eating hot dogs and frozen yogurt by the pool while sun tanning. My brother and I were literally black after two months. You could swear we were Indian or something if you look at our pictures.

That’s the California life! Sounds like a smooth transition.

Well we had trouble at school, which drove my parents nuts, but that wasn’t new and with a lot of help from my father I did more than fine by the end of the second year. I became fluent in English thanks to that.

Have you been back to the US?

I never returned to the US since we lived there but I sure want to one day. I would probably feel right at home.

Wow, so that’s three countries before your teens. When did you finally get to live in Japan?

We came to Japan when I was 10. As a Japanese family, we had visited Japan many times before, but as you might know, living in a country is very different from just visiting it for kicks. Adaptation is hard in Japan especially if you are a Japanese kid who grew up in a foreign country. If you are not one of them you are an outsider.

But you must have felt more at home in Japan than in California.

In the US I never felt like an outsider, even though I didn’t speak the language. I was a Japanese kid and that alone was cool to the other American kids. Most kids in Japan don’t understand or are disturbed by difference. The worst for me was because I looked Japanese, which made it even more difficult for kids to understand who or what I was. Imagine, this kid who looked Japanese and spoke perfectly but didn’t read or write well and didn’t know who Hikaru Genji is (the popular boy band). So you get teased or bullied a lot and you hit back.

Did you have much contact with Japanese kids in America?

I never liked Japanese kids even before in California when I went to a Japanese school once a week. Kids were just mean. For a long time I didn’t feel like being one of them. Outside of Japan I would say I was Japanese, but those were just words to make me feel original. However, one day something happened. One kid actually came to apologize to me in class. He said “Kazu, I didn’t know you lived outside Japan all your life, I’m sorry I didn’t try to understand.” That changed everything. I made new friends immediately and I finally felt a little more at home.

At this point did you feel like you fit in as a Japanese person? Did you start losing your western identity?

You start wearing the same kind of clothes as your friends, listening to Japanese pop music and forget you loved Billy Joel, Michael Jackson and Bon Jovi. Strangely enough, my taste in movies never changed, probably because movies are a part of me more than anything else.

So do you tell people you’re French or Japanese or what?

I can be both Japanese and French, I can also say that I’m American and people would believe me and accept me in any country because looks don’t matter. The opposite would probably be a lot more difficult unfortunately. You could be born in Japan and live there all your life and only speak Japanese but if you don’t look Japanese you would never be accepted by them. People would say you speak well and that you behave or act like Japanese, but you are not one. In many ways and levels, that is very sad and cruel.

Then you went back to France when you were 14 and went through high school and college there. I know you love Paris, so why did you return to Japan?

Unfortunately, it was a hard time even for a French guy to find a decent job. People were constantly out of a job or laid-off. As a result it was hard for a Japanese guy to find a good job. In France people don’t care if you speak three languages. Speaking English is not even truly necessary. So I came back to Japan in 2005.

So was it a purely economic reason that you came to Tokyo?

I also wanted to go back to my roots. My DNA was telling me to go back. Not only just as a Japanese but also to work in a Japanese environment.

After two years do you feel that Japan is your home now?

Although I feel home sick from time to time (by that I mean France), I can say that Japan is home now. Unconsciously I say “I’m going back home” whether it’s France or Japan which confuses my friends from time to time. And when I talk, depending of the country where I am, I always say, “in France we…” or “in Japan we…” By now, I would say home is pretty much anywhere I’m familiar with. Home is a place that allows me to be myself and be constantly creative. Home is where the culture and I become a symbiosis and finally become one.

See the picture up here... I either look like a french pirate, a villain, or a romance novel character... Think that maybe you can choose another picture instead of this one? For everyone's sake - including mine?

~

(20 minutes later) Thank you... Much Better ^_^

Kazu~Kyohei was kind enough to let me use him as ResinRevolution's Cover Model (Haku and Simon beat him at Rock, Paper, Scissors).

With Eden, MiYuki and Enki’s homecoming, I wanted to start posting their profiles as soon as possible.

Slacker that I am, I didn't get them their own personal blog, until now... the boys understand, though. :) So as I wait for the rest of the Kids' arrival, I'll be finishing up their basic stats.  This blog is their voice, and my gift to them.