"If You're Into It"

"Foux Da Fa Fa"

"Business Time"

"Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros"

Get your mind out of the gutter!!! Anyway, it's (still) illegal.

What I was actually referring to is the kind that pops up in yards and gardens all over the place at this time of year, striking fear and loathing into the hearts of gardeners everywhere.

An example: the dreaded and much-maligned dandelion.

Now, my thumb is not green but black - must be all that tar in the smokes. All this to say, I have no clue about gardening. But I do think that dandelions are quite pretty:

See? What's wrong with them? They're bright and cheery. And they're free, and they don't take any work to maintain. So what's the big deal?

Still not convinced? Well, maybe my five tips on combatting the affliction of weed hatred will convince you.

1. Start eating the leaves.

Yes, you can eat dandelion greens. My great grandmother did it for years - and she even drank the water they were boiled in (the appearance of which any smoker who has tried that time honoured quit smoking tip "empty your ashtray into a jar, fill with water, let marinate one week then keep bringing it out and looking at it when you're jonesing for a smoke" will recognise). And, she lived to be 107! (well, I exaggerate a bit. But she was very old when she died).

I've also seen dandelion greens at the supermarket in certain ethnic neighbourhoods from time to time Even some of the top chefs have picked up on this dandelion trick and are serving dandelion salad. So, if they can serve it, so can you, right?

As for prep tips, don't ask me. I wouldn't touch them with a bargepole. But, as they are extremely healthy, you really should try some yourselves. I'm thinking about your best interests here.

2. Look for comparisons between other "real" plants that you have to pay for and tend.

If you do this, it may well be that you will stop seeing the necessity of shelling out your hard-earned bucks at the flower centre. Here's an example:

I mean, do you see any difference, really? If anything, the dandelions are nicer looking because they don't have those big ugly fuzzy brown spots in the middle!

3. Hunt down artistic depictions of the weed.

And yes, people do honour dread weeds such as the dandelion in art. Here are two examples.

This piece by Ann Beckley is called "Dandelion Lace:

Don't you love the dandelion etching on the side?

And this piece is Myrna Oostrom is simply called "Dandelions"

Wow. I wish I could paint like that.

Anyway, works of art like these are important in that they help to remove the stigma of weed-dom.

4. Make a pros and cons list.

I have a deep dark secret to confess: I am a huge fan of pros and cons lists. Having said that, I'm not going to list the "cons" of letting weeds flourish here because you already know all of those. Here are some pros:

• You don't have to break your back any more doing all that weeding.
• You can save all that money you spend every year on plants which end up dying half the time anyway when there is some freak snowstorm in June.
• Got any neighbours you can't stand? Letting your yard grow over with wees provided great fodder to piss them off.
• Alternatively, having problems coming up with social chit chat with the neighbours? Let your yard grow over with weeds, then you can casually ask them how they cope with weeds in their yard. I imagine that this is good for hours of pleasantries.
• You will have lots of extra time for fun things... such as knitting, for example.

Which leads us to the fifth and final tip...

5. Check out yarn inspirations.

There are even knitting yarns named after weeds. And let me tell you, fondling a skein of Handmaiden Dandelion sea silk could probably change your mind about a whole lot of things:

For some reason, I haven't quite managed to get my hot little mitts on any of this glorious stuff yet. But, after all, it is PayDay tomorrow!

Here's a little challenge for you. Below is a photo of more Handmaiden colourways.

Tell me which one is named after a (sort of) weed - and provide the name. I'll post the link to the answers here tomorrow. Hint - each colourway has one word in the name only.

See, weeds can be fun. Go forth and let them multiply, I exhort you!

Happy Weednesday Wednesday!

"Saudara kita akan membahas kisah Tuhan Yesus dan [Teeeee....t - suara HP berbunyi] Petrus,Hhh" pendeta itu jengkel karena kotbahnya harus terganggu suara liar itu. Pendeta ini berpikir paling mereka akan sadar dengan situasi yang sedang terjadi.

Pendeta itu melanjutkan khotbahnya," Pada saat itu Yesus [teee....eettt ] memanggil Petrus " . Hati pendeta itu mulai dongkol tapi dia masih menahan diri agar jemaat tidak memiliki image buruk tentang dirinya.

"Petrus maukah kau [teeeee....eet] ....menjala ikan untuk kita makan bersama" pendeta itu mulai jengkel.

"Dan akhirnya Petrus sampai di laut tapi [teeeeee...eet] "

"Yesus, di sini tidak ada ikan bagaimana ini?" pendeta itu melanjutkan cepat-cepat sebelum kepotong suara hp itu.

"Maka berkatalah Yesus " tiba-tiba [teeeeeeeeee....eeet]

"PETRUSSSSS LEMPARKANLAH HANDPHONE_MU KE LAUT!!!!!!!" Pendeta itu berteriak keras.

1. Christian Cheese

2. Stuff Christians Like

3. The ongoing adventures of ASBO Jesus

I've also recently discovered Summer Bay Journal which has old episodes of Home and Away. I discovered this when I was ill a couple of weeks ago, and ended up watching Sophie giving birth to Tamara, Shane and Angel getting married, the pilot episode when the Fletcher family move into the house and buy the caravan park...

I've been told by my neighbour that this is sad, and is an abuse of the internet when there are much better things to be watched and done on the internet...

He is probably correct.

But I did love Home and Away when I was younger...it all went downhill once Shane, Angel, Selina, Steven, Damien etc. left..

I don't really know where to begin, as regards reviewing the comments from the MSM about Brown agreeing to bribe all "state-registered poor people" with £120 each. So I won't. You've all read them anyway. Here's one.

This is the price of a medium-good night out for two members of the State-Generated-Underclass, in a stalinist-ruined sink-city like Liverpool. It was great, once.

Can't think how little it would buy you in London: a single trip on the central Line (is it still called that? Not the "Working Towards the People's Grand_Cross Rail Junction" Line, or something equally portentious?) from Nutting Hell Gate to Bonk (or from Helland Poke, or Shaggard's Bush)? (Or actually the other way round...)

This sad, tormented middle-aged white leftist man is a contradiction. This concatenation of characteristics ought to be a total tautology, if you think about what sheer internal self-confidence about one's place in the world the proper understanding of our civilisation could have given to these exact kinds of male humans. (Where's the confidence gone then?) But ...

... Gordon Brown, a professional "student activist" having been the only real function he has ever had, seems to think that the best advice to take today is to "bung" all poor-people £120 each, if they have been "disadvantaged" by the removal of the 10p tax rate.

Wonder how they arrived at £120? Is there some treasury computer or summat?

That's like a Student Union Treasurer, caught with his hand in the Union Till, saying he'll reimburse "the members" with 50p each (or £1 - it matters not): but the difference is that this offer would  'av'ter-be'  his own dosh. The £120's will come from the govt's overdraft, and we'll have to pay the Banks to lend it.

Old socialism didn't work, and dressing up the mouldering skeleton in new clothes, animated by a clever guy (Blair) whom they got rid of because they thought he was a Tory,  will not work either. There are NO new socialist ideas. Gramsci is dead, thank God, and accompanies Hitler and Stalin and Mao and Pol Pot, in the coldness and emptiness of the Outer Void. Even Lucifer will not let them in, and hopefullt they will sonn be joined by Brezhnev, Yasser Arafat and Castro officially, if not already actually in all three cases.

(Oh, and by the way, unlike Castro, who has not been dead for very long, Osama Bin Laden will continue to remain dead, like for the last 6.5 years.)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh Yolanda, you really make me laugh out loud.
So Bizarre.

Now tell me: What do the above named things have in common?

The answer is pretty obvious. They're all Pokemon. (lol)

Ok anyway this post is going to be about Pokemon, and why kids love them so much. Hopefully, it will also lead some parents in this little world to the inevitable conclusion that their kids can never escape the clutches of Pokemon.

Point 1: THEY ARE SO DAMN FUCKING CUTE! See the little Pikachu above? It looks awfully cute. And we all know that dumb little children can never resist cute stuff. It gets worse, for Pikachu is supposedly a heroic Pokemon because it always blasts a "Thunderbolt!!!" to blast Team Rocket or Team Faggots or Team Salablah or whatever loser villian away to eternal respawning hell.

Point 2: THE WORD "POKEMON" IS A CURSE. Mainly because of the way it's spelt. In case you're mentally retarded. Pokemon is spelt: P-O-K-E-M-O-N.

Which actually means: Pikachu Owns Kids Emotionally, Morning Or Night.

So parents out there, don't despair if your kids are watching Pokemon uncontrollably. It's just due to the evil curse designed to cheat little kids of money. Or perhaps it's just that your parenting skills suck big time.

Orange NInja

There is a new thread that has been started in our office 'discussion forum' where people are heated and boiling over this post published by aamir (not sure if he really has posted such a thing). It seems aamir said the following: "Shahrukh is licking my feet and I am feeding him biscuits every now and then. What more can I ask for? "

If you read aamir's blog carefully, the story goes like this: few years ago, Shahrukh Khan had gone for a film shooting at this same house (Aamir had not purchased it then). The guards were so happy that they decided to name their dog as Shahrukh. Even Shahrukh knows about this. Years later, when aamir bought the house, obviously, it came along with the guards and the dog. Hence.....

True that the post refers to SRK indirectly but i dont think it needs so much of a hype. SRK is a sport...rememeber Om Shanti Om? I guess he will take it with a pinch of salt.

Moreover, i believe its we/media who are unnecessarily making this into such a big issue.. more than what it deserves. even if aamir really has said such a thing nothing will change for him nor for SRK. we need not increase our blood pressures on this topic.

PS: if i had to add some humor to this.. i think SRK should name his cat - 'Aamir' and make the cat eat dry grass... also he should make the cat listen to himesh reshemiya songs everyday and yes... he could possibly make the cat a software engineer.. that would be an ultimate revenge :P

Mood: m scared thinking of what our dear news channels (Aaj Tak, Star, etc etc) will make this into..guess this will be in news for another month or so.. sigh...

Backlit bogeys. Vile.

Never mind, I've tracked down a replacement keyboard to put in place of the one Mr Cat broke. Well ok I broke it but it was Mr Cat's fault.

Up to town to try and sell some art now... and score some cot sheets. Then the whole baby thing is ready... er except for getting his room on line... but all the stuff's in there.

I'm also having to concentrate on de-potty mouthing. As you are all aware, I tend to swear like a trooper and it would be a pity if my lovely son's first word was "bollocks"!

Then again... my brother did shout "Hairy Bastard!" at my granddad when aged about 3... but my dad was a house master in a boarding school for teen aged boys, there were sweary louts all around us so it was kind of to be expected... in our case, there are no other options, it will be tracked directly to me!

Hmm... as Obiwan Kenobe would say. "We must be cautious."

Pipple toot.

Mother's Day was nice.  A huge bottle of Oscar from Michael, a pashmina from Bloss and a hug from Patrick ~ who told me he'd buy me a gift when I funded him.  LOL

The nicest bit was that, for a change, we were all at home together for the whole day.

Another round of appointments with surgeon, physiotherapist and GP with Patrick.  His finger should be bionic by now for all we've spent on it.  I can't help but feel that if we didn't have medical insurance his finger would be every bit as mended as it is now, only without the specialist appointments and for much less cost.  It's very disheartening to spend $70 of a physio appointment and receive only $24.10 back, especially on a recurring basis.  His brother is at this very moment telling him he doesn't represent "value for money".  Thankfully, my children have the kind of egos that let them survive each other.

Michael has just told me that Patrick dared him into eating a raw egg last week.  Maybe he is worth the money.  Ages?  10 and 8 (in sense of humour years); chronologically they are 24 and 16.  I tell myself that this too, will pass. 

The last week (or two) in pics:

My effort for Four Seasons Quilt Swap ~ Spring.  It's in the mail, but I downloaded the photos of completed quilt at work and haven't remembered to email them to myself yet.  Although I, as usual, over-thought this and made it harder for myself than it needed to be (and consequently ran late), it was fun to do.  Sign-ups for the Summer swap are on now, so scoot on over and check it out.  There is a link in my sidebar.

Patrick and the tiny-but-dynamic Jen.  The things you have to put up with to get a half decent photo!

My Pansy Park blocks I found when someone asked me for a loan of the Block 10 pattern I had misplaced.  I have decided to make a block each Monday night until the darn thing is finished.

I love Thimbleberries fabrics, I have metres of them, plus the Vintage Garden and Hometown Christmas kits.  I'm just not particularly keen on country quilts, so they are never the fabrics I cut into.

A little fabric for a little project.  Can't show you the project because the intended recipient keeps an eye on me.  LOL

There was more (I think) but that's it for now.

Wow.............

finally someone that thinks like me.

X Daloo3a X

Money can't buy me love, but "lust" rents out pretty cheap.

Two's company and three's a corporation.

Make Love not warts.

When the going gets tough, explode!

There's no such thing as a stupid question, just the idiot that asked it.

A Rolling Stone gathers no moss and has really big lips.

Complaining doesn't get you anywhere, unless you're on a plane.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend and the guy that gave them to her isn't doing bad either.

History often repeats itself, just to rub it in.

Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we must defrost the refrigerator.

Police were called to a day care centre where a three-year-old was.... resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was.... Sir Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a..... little behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is..... pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take..... debate.

The dwarf fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a.....small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got..... twelve months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became.... a hardened criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with... stalking.

We'll never run out of maths teachers because they will.... always multiply.

What do you see when the smog lifts in Los Angeles..... U C L A.

The maths professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did..... a number on it.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was..... on shaky ground.

The dead batteries were given out..... free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could...... jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought..... tooth and nail.

What's the definition of a will?..... It's a dead giveaway

And for what, pray? Not for anything sensible and laudable like work, or even social work – merely for pleasure, for a holiday. What’s that? A young and respectable (married!) Indian woman holidaying alone? Who ever heard of such a thing?

Very few people, apparently... and not just amongst my friends and family. Reactions from members of the general public who have see me travelling, then looked around for a companion and found none, have been varied and diverse, but unanimously incredible.

There is, it seems, a peculiar and unspoken hierarchy for women traveling in India, which I'm not sure exists anywhere else in the world. At the top of the ladder are women travelling with husbands, mothers, sisters, and other members of the family – the more, the merrier. Women carrying babies or young children, whether in all-women groups or with husbands, are at the very highest rung of the ladder, and young men will sometimes even give up their seat in a bus/train for them, while older men and women will offer to hold the kids, or accommodate sundry pieces of luggage that inevitably accompany such travelers.

Women travelling with husbands, but without children or extended family are also generally judged to be respectable, and are usually left alone. They might, however, be subject to some harassment if they are sufficiently young, even remotely good looking, or if there is any suspicion whatsoever that the accompanying male might not be a legally wedded husband. I faced such harassment in rather scary circumstances at the hands of a local traffic cop just outside Delhi, who was not convinced that Amit and I had been married eight years, and demanded to see the kids as proof of our relationship! This was rather difficult to arrange, as we didn’t have any at the time. He then took each of us apart and asked for the maiden name of the other’s mother!

Elderly women traveling alone (not as rare as one might suppose) are strictly left alone. They are immediately recognizable as the Family Matriarch, withered and old, loud-voiced and not averse to obscenity, immune to leers and (being partially deaf) lewd comments, used to having everyone around them come running, snap to attention, and do exactly as they’re told. They will immediately remind you of your mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, great-grandmother, and the archetypal Aunt Agatha, all rolled into one. Nobody, but nobody, messes with them.

Younger women traveling in groups are seen as fair game for young men roving in gangs, but the larger the group of women, the rarer the men who will take them on.

A Young Woman Traveling Alone (AYWTA), however, is right down there on the bottom-most rung of the ladder. AYWTA is viewed by some with a leer, and by others with extreme suspicion normally reserved for cobras, scorpion and the like. For example, AYWTA on a bus or sitting in a restaurant (in semi-urban or in rural settings; big cities have their own, completely different set of rules) will be carefully shunned by all the respectable “family” men. Wives, if present, can be safely parked next to her, and perhaps young male (and, of course, female) children, but other male members of the family will conspicuously avoid sitting or standing nearby, or even looking in her direction. The unfortunate bus/train conductors and restaurant proprietors who must deal with her do so quickly, with an air of embarrassment, while carefully avoiding her eyes and all the other eyes focused on them.

I've had bus conductors show very visible reluctance in having to place male passengers next to me while I was traveling alone, even when the bus was quite full and the seat next to me was the only vacant one left. I’ve even seen the young men selected for this terrible task blanch and visibly pale at the prospect. But then there was the guy who not only sat willingly next to me (though other seats were vacant), but, much to my disgust, fell asleep (and drooled!) on my shoulder. Only after waking up and taking a careful look at me, did he realize with a start that I was - horrors! - AYWTA, and quickly moved away with a muted apology. (Probably the fact that he was significantly inebriated had something to do with his belated realization.)

If the reactions reserved for AYWTA were to vary only between embarrassment, suspicion, and shock, things would be great for us women travelers. Unfortunately, however, too much of the attention focused on AYWTA is of the unwanted type. Young men, singly or, more worryingly, in gangs, will leer at her unabashedly and perhaps make some lewd or disrespectful comment, blandly assuming that AYWTA must be a foreigner. I have had the dubious pleasure of retorting in the vernacular, and leaving the ruffians somewhat abashed; they didn't intend to pick on an Indian woman, nor did they want their ribaldry to be understood.

I have also been the subject of a most "decent" indecent proposal, when an elderly Greek (?) gentleman (who must have been at least 80 in the shade, 95 in direct sunlight) communicated to me that he would be delighted if I would care to join him in his room that evening. Well, I declined, but you have to hand it to the old grandpa for trying.

Not all indecent proposals are so polite and lacking in deceit. On a particular occasion in Manali, I found myself hunting for a roost for the night the hard way - on foot, luggage in tow. It was June - peak season in Manali - and decent rooms were impossible to find. After being turned away for the umpteenth time, a young and smooth, smart sort of chap approached me and suggested a hotel just down the way. I normally brush off these touts without even looking at them, but tiredness and the beginnings of despair dulled my usual alertness and I found myself following him into a hotel. "A room for this madam," he said authoritatively to the chap behind the counter, adding in coarse vernacular, "she's alone."

Well, they found a room for me, of course, but by then my stranger-alert antennae had picked up some really seedy signals, so I beat a hasty retreat. I could just see a long line of men queuing up outside my door once darkness descended, with the tout selling tickets for the gallery view no doubt.

The other sort of attention AYWTA attracts is that of the con artist. This could be either man or woman, decently dressed and well spoken, who approaches with an innocuous question, perhaps concerning the time or else asking directions. The person then proceeds to sit at a very respectable distance from AYWTA and slowly (and completely without prompting) brings out the sob story... Robbed, cheated, or somehow hoodwinked out of all their money, credit card, cell phone and vital addresses, they are roaming the streets of a strange city without enough money to get home, do you think you could help, sister...

Oh, sure, I've heard that one before, brother. I might be AYWTA, but do you think I was born yesterday?

And so it goes... the good, the bad, and the downright ridiculous. I wouldn’t say it’s dangerous for women to travel alone in India, but I wouldn’t say it’s easy either. You have to keep your wits about you, and you have to remember to be suspicious, even if it is tempting to be trusting. And it helps if you are completely immune to staring, leering, and general lewdness. I’m sure a course in self-defence and the company of some reliable weapons of male destruction would help, but so far I’ve traveled with just my wits and my backpack, and I’ve managed alright. One thing’s for sure: if you do travel alone, you might be wary, tense, lonely, scared, or just plain bored – but you’ll never be left alone.

(As are both Barack Obama’s parents – who are both dead)

www.thingsyoungerthanmccain.com

Inspired…

]]> http://extravajanzaa.wordpress.com/?p=416 Wed, 14 May 2008 09:06:18 +0000 Florian KARMEN http://extravajanzaa.wordpress.com/?p=416

Vous connaissiez surement Vie de merde ou encore bashFR, et bien aujourd'hui je vous propose Job de merde, je pense que vous aurez saisis le concept.

This bloke is missing it a lot. Enough to start selling his assets.

Fun Little Movies, based in California, specializes in the development, production and distribution of original video content for global distribution to mobile network operators and was the first US company to produce comedic films for mobile phones worldwide, when it launched as a channel on Sprint TV back in in 2004. Shows include the animated series such as Hoota N Snoz, Doodlez (right), produced by Cellar Door Productions, Ms. Rabbble and more.

The Meffy awards, which received applications from 21 countries across four continents, are judged by an independent panel of national media and leading trade journalists and analysts. The Content Award shortlist, which received the third highest number of entries, included FLM, MTV Networks International, and Orange.

This isn't the first award for the company: FLM's "Fun Funny Phone Films" have won 22 awards to date, including CTIA's "World Smallest Film Festival" and two Golden Eagles at the American Cine' Awards, as well as The Content Award at Cannes in 2008, over MTV and Orange. FLM was also a finalist at the Cannes Film Festival for Best Short Film and the 2008 Mobile Content Award in London.

Commenting on FLM's success, Rimma Perelmuter, MEF Executive Director, said "With distribution from Brunei to Bethlehem to Burbank, Fun Little Movies' collection of funny, short, made-for-mobile comedy films has proven the universal appeal of laughter and snackable content."

"Our gratitude goes first to ROK Entertainment Group," said FLM's President and Chief Creative Officer Frank Chindamo, "who, since acquiring FLM in 2007, have supported and helped enhance our product offering, such as in partnership with ROK Motion.

"We would also like to thank the MEF, our own creative staff, and all the filmmakers with whom we have partnered or whose work we have licensed. In fact, look for our latest production, HighSpeed Dating, written and directed by Terry Rossio and Jocelyn Stamat. Terry wrote and/or produced the Shrek, National Treasure and Pirates of the Caribbean movies, and we have high hopes for the series release later this year."

"We're delighted to have won this award and congratulate the FLM team," added Laurence Alexander, Group CEO of ROK. "This award demonstrates the success of ROK's growth strategy as well as recognition that the creation and delivery of relevant, funny and fast-paced mobile content is great for mobile consumption. FLM faced tough competition and this award is proof of their position in the market for the production and delivery of mobile content."

Fun Little Movies have played on numerous US TV networks worldwide including HBO, Showtime, CBS, Playboy, MTV and Comedy Central. FLM's mobile comedy can be watched on Sprint, Verizon, Nokia, Motorola and ATT mobile phones, on Veoh.com, Revver.com, Vuze.com and many other top video sites, and on other mobile and Internet platforms. FLM also has distribution deals with several handset makers and overseas partners, from China and Japan to Europe, Africa and South America.

• Visit the Fun Little Movies website