YouTube - Sarah Palin- Qualified to Be VP.

I have it figured out. Like some retarded Voltron, Sarah Palin and McCain together form "Commander Zap Brannigan".

Brannigan's battle tactics are impulsive, generally stupid, and
almost always unnecessary. He takes delight in sending his men to die
in battle, viewing this as proof of their loyalty. Notable examples
include an (unseen) battle with "killbots", a battle which Brannigan
won by sending wave after wave of his own men at the killbots until
they reached their pre-programmed kill limit and shut down. He employed
similar tactics in defending Earth during the first invasion of the
aliens of Omicron Persei 8 ("When Aliens Attack"),
ordering all the ships under his command to "line up and fly directly
at the enemy death cannons, clogging them with wreckage!"

Both have complementing falacies that when combined add up to the perfect caricature of the Commander. A supreme overconfidence with a distinct lack of aplicable training. A willingness to sacrifice his own men and a blind obedience to misunderstood rules.

Providing America with quality suicide booths since 2008

Since 2008. They've had suicide booths since 2008. What do we have? Cars with 4 wheels, healthy living, iPods, Mobile phones, CCTV watching our every move. It's boring! Where are the flying cars, holograms, intergalactic space travel, promised to us by Sci-Fi films and books and whatnot, I mean I like what we have but in another year and half we'll be in the proper Sci-Fi year of 2010 (as long as we haven't been nuked yet of course). Ah well. We may have our 3-course-meal-in-a-pill sooner or later. Hopefully sooner.

I have not blogged in a really long time. My last blog (which I actually deleted) was one huge rant. For the most part, I needed to just get a bunch of things off of my chest, so now I'm pretty cool about it all. However, now I have to wait for the rebuttal (particularly from Paul and Ray), which I expect to be honest with a splash of brutal sincerity. I like issues dealt with ASAP, but all in good time.

So it looks like I have a bit of changes to make on my blog. I am not 21, I'm 22 now. I'm not a student anymore. I now work for Paladin Security. I applied to the Army (thanks for keeping a secret this long, whoever I told), and the only reason why I bothered making it "public" now is because my mind is most definitely set on it and won't be turned by protest. My aptitude test is on Sep 4th, the Thursday. My job also wants me to transfer to another campus, probably after this week. I'm crossing my fingers for it, because the campus I'm at is starting to suck a little bit. As I mean, it will happen, it HAS happened, ha ha, thank you. Directive thinking. Been doing a lot of that lately. I also started working out again. Well, sort of. I worked out the day before yesterday (STILL aching), and am going to work out again today. I'm going to do this every other day until I settle into it, and then its going to be every day. My abs look tighter after ONE day of working out...I'm surprised I still have abs, actually. I won't let my metabolism go to my head this time around. ("I have a high metabolism so I don't have to exercise as much.") Doi...>_<.

Things have changed a little. Like you may have seen in a blog before, my sister from England is still here. Got the papers to go back and hopefully that works out fine for her. My older brother (not JP, Dinis), proposed to a girl that he's always had a heck of a lot of trouble with and she apparently said yes, so I wish them all the best. Oh, and now, I ACTUALLY have my L! I want to take my driving lessons (in classes on the 1st three Saturdays of September WHEN I push my way with work), so I don't have to wait as long for a full. I was looking at that Transformers Camaro contest I entered and am really crossing my fingers that I get my Bumblebee in 2009. Doubtful, and I probably will be in Alberta by then, but still crossing them.

Nothing really new has happened lately events wise and all that for me, except that I went to the Anime Revolution or whatever it was called with JP on Friday...really...out...of...place. lol. Well, at least there was a handful of cute anime girls out of the many non-hygenic and overweight and/or pale people there. (Sorry, but they really DO fit the stereotype. It's kinda sad.) Way too many Naruto people there. No Escaflowne people. Tear. That's probably one of the only animes that I REALLY like. Despite the security there sucking ass (shirts that say "security" on them? Where's your company badge? Where's...) there was one security guard dressed up as Solid Snake, from the new Metal Gear Solid. Really good costume. Still, out of the first security guards I saw, I thought they were actually people dressed up, NOT security guards. Really...that bad. I entered the Smash Brawl tournament and came in 2nd out of 4 in my round. I was kicking ass until it was down to me and the other guy, I got shaky-arm syndrome. AGH! Shoulda used my hookshot to get back up! Stupid, stupid, stupid! But other than that, I whooped good. Go Link, Go Link, Go Link ^_^. Entered the Unreal Tournament Game of the Year Edition and came in 1st 4 out of 5 times, and then we did teams; I was team leader of my team (blue), and our team whooped red in CTF 5-0. I was supposed to be in the Soul Calibur 4 tournament, too, but they were scheduled at the same time as UT...which is stupid. They wanted to play some Warcraft map that I should probably know about, but simply don't because I don't actually OWN Warcraft (except WoW), so I opted out to stay on my winning streak. John-Paul and I grabbed some burgers, and I went to Booster's later. We left after listening in on some "state of anime in Canada" lecture thing, because, basically, it sucked. I had a good time, but I have to say I was severely dissapointed by the art--one can only look at homoerotic drawings of Kingdom Hearts characters so many times (but for me, so many times is 1 time before I go "ahhh my eyes!!")

Other than all that...I probably should be making more time to do things outside of work, but really, I'm not. I'm averaging about 4-6 hours of sleep a night, which will make some people say "fuck you, asshole, I get by on less sleep than that." Well...good for you, 'cause I don't. I get up, leave for work at 1:30pm, come home at about 11:30 (assuming I DON'T take transit), then go to bed 12:20am or earlier. I set my alarm to 8:30 am and somehow I'm always falling short of the hours of sleep I need. Always something. I am managing better than usual sometimes, though. A week or two ago I went to see Dark Knight with one of my friends and then play SC4 with him and his girlfriend. Ah, ridiculous breast physics...how we love you.

Paul's BBQ is on Friday at 7:00pm though. I look forward to that. I keep thinking I have something to do on Thursday, but I can't put my finger on it.

S'all for now. Paul and Ray, you guys can catch me at the BBQ or we can talk about whatever we should talk about some other time. 

Gotta actually try to do something before work.

Inez Wong, matriarch of the Wong family, which owns the majority of the land on Mars and obtained great wealth through their Buggalo ranch.

Dylan Marvin's Blog

Yes cats and kittens, we're happy to bring you the finest animated series of the late 90's-early 00's, Futurama! To celebrate the launch of Futurama on iToEye, we're kicking things off with not one, but two episodes.

If you like this, please support the show by picking up the DVDs, available at a store near you! All 5 seasons are out there, and two brand-new direct to DVD movies.

These links will be deleted after ONE WEEK, so get it while you can! Next week, the next two episodes will be posted. Here's some info on the show for those of you who've never seen it:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Futurama

And here are our first two episodes:

Season 1, Episode 1: Space Pilot 3000

http://rapidshare.com/files/140117990/D2_-_Futurama_-_S01E01_-_The_Space_Pilot_3000.mp4.html

Season 1, Episode 2:  The Series Has Landed

http://rapidshare.com/files/140119846/D2_-_Futurama_-_S01E02_-_The_Series_Has_Landed.mp4.html

I then wracked my brain with mathematical computations and numbers and geometry shapes and drew out my rough pattern.

Then on some tracing paper (I used tissue paper, which I have tons of) I began measuring and drawing out my final bender pattern.  Sorry no picture.  And because I used tissue paper, it didn't really survive the project.

I used a really thick grey polar fleece, so that the finished project would be soft and cuddly.

Somehow, the eyepiece measurements were entirely wrong.  The only surprise here, being my first solo sewing project, is the fact that this was the only real problem I encountered.

The finished product, though not perfect is recognizable, solid, and my son loves it.

Fake News/Doctor Who
Truthiness And Relative Dimensions In Space: A Thousand Wørds three, four (fic, PG)

Fake News
Also Good For Play (fic/illustration, PG)

Futurama
Captain Yesterday, Clobberella (art, worksafe)

Hellsing
AxI - Snug (art, worksafe)
Integra's Shoulder Angel (art, worksafe)
Integra's Shoulder Devil (art, NSFW)
Sketches: Ota '08, birthday

Kaitou Saint Tail
Chibi Meimi sketch (art, worksafe)
Meimi and Seira (ditto)

RG Veda
The Schism (Ashura mix, worksafe)

Next Week in Shine:
Integra's going Super Saiyan, and having trouble staying human.

Website Updates!
A couple of old trailers have been added here.
Once more into the collection...
All of the HellSING! parodies have finally been gathered in one place!

My first time ever using iMovie. At first everything looked confusing, but after a couple minutes I had it all figured out. The lesson in this, as with many applications, is don't let the first impression disorient you! So many people never learn to do things because they think it looks too difficult. If you try, you'll learn, which is what I tell my parents once a month when I have to teach them how to add an email attachment again.

Toby: So, global warming. Why don't we just move the planet? You know, figure the maths out -

Zach: I thought you hated metrics?

Toby: Shut up!

Dave: Move the planet! We could biuld rockets, push it along -

Ole: Yeah!

Me: But, I mean, isn't Earth an M-type planet? Don't we occupy -

Toby: "M-type" planet? What the hell? Isn't that a Star Trek term?

Me: No, it's a legitimate science term which just happens to get used in shows like Star Trek.

Toby: Right.

Me: Shut up! I'm serious. We occupy a small belt in space, right, because we're just far enough away from the sun not to burn, but close enough not to freeze.

Ole: What, and what happens if we get too far away?

Me: We turn into Venus.

Dave: Venus is closer!

Me: Mars, then.

Zach: OK, fine, but we're moving the planet. I mean, if we could make the year 500 days long, right, we could have ten day weeks, go decimal -

Toby: I thought you hated arithmetic?

Zach: Shut up! 

Dave: So global warming is solved.

Ole: But, hang on, if we move the planet, won't the moon crash into us?

Dave: No, no! The moon'll come with, won't it? Right?

Zach: Well, either way, it's still coming with us. It might just, you know, be part of us.

Toby: If it explodes, we could have two.

Zach: Right! So we blow up the moon first.

Ole: So it can't crash into us!

Dave: Yes! This is the new plan, then. Step one: blow up the moon. Step two: move the planet.

Me: Moving the planet. They did that on Futurama once, with robots.

Ole: And everything on Futurama is automatically brilliant.

Toby: Isn't that a documentary? I'm pretty sure it is.

Dave: They didn't blow up the moon, though.

Zach: You know, those damn Jehova's Witnesses, they keep on saying how great it would be if the moon were invisible, how it would solve all their problems, and I'm like, "Dude. But it'd still be there." Unfortunately, though, they've got a huge voting constituency. Bastards.

Me: I guess they took that song It's Only A Paper Moon a bit too literally.

Zach: Yeah.

And thus, we saved the world.

So last night I was watching a fascinating show on the incredible advances that are being made in the robotics field, and it got me thinking about science fiction and robot-human relations. It both amused and bothered me that they were presenting all these technologies and scenarios and not even mentioning the implications that will be presented (they said "robots can do chores humans dislike" and I was thinking, "but what if the robots don't like these chores either, resent us, and wish to rebel?")

I read earlier today that the main thing developers think we have on the robots (and maybe always will?) is that they have no free will, and will not be installed with such.

Honda has ASIMO, which it calls "The World's Most Advanced Humanoid Robot" (on the show there were many examples of this type of technology and its current/future applications).

Ray Kurzweil thinks what he calls "the Singularity" (the point when humans transcend biology) will occur soon, and its arrival will herald all manner of strange new considerations for humanity.

I just read at Accelerating Future (among many other insightful posts) that since November, there has been work in Korea to draft a Robot Ethics Charter.

I am also curious to read Daniel Wilson's How To Survive a Robot Uprising (Tips on Defending Yourself During the Upcoming Rebellion (a funny book on a serious topic). Because in movies such as I, Robot this topic is explored. Even though Hollywood is much different from reality, our science fiction has always been a good forum for examining concepts, no matter how outlandish they may seem at the time.

Robotics and the future of artificial intelligence is going to have a huge impact on humanity, and we have to start thinking about these issues now, before they happen.

I thought Bender's Big Score was WAY overdone. It was as if every writer had all these pent-up ideas for the show when it was canceled and they attempted to get them all in to this first movie. As much of a Futurama fan as I am, even I started looking at the clock in the hopes it would end.

Thankfully, The Beast With a Billion Backs was much better-made and better-written. It "felt" more like an extended episode of Futurama. The movie begins with, what else, a big tear in the Universe. However, it just sits there and does nothing. Meanwhile, Amy and Kiff are planning their wedding and Fry is dating a new girl (voiced by Brittany Murphy). Over the course of the movie various characters explore love (that makes it sound sappy but think of our characters and you'll realize how badly they'll find to screw it up) and find out what they big honking crack in the sky is.

The writers got back to putting in more jokes that always fit - Bender's drinking, Fry's stupidity, the Professor's forgetfulness, Zoidberg's uselessness and making more of the jokes about things in the future being bigger versions of things that already sucked today. There are also plenty of the usual sight gags and background funnies that you really have to be paying attention to see.

In addition to Brittany Murphy, David Cross does a celebrity voice in the film.

Overall, it's much better than the first film and although I felt it a tad too long I found that there were at least a couple of moments that I had to rewind and watch a few more times before continuing.

b.YISK

PS Szkoda, że mam wersję z lektorem.

In the shaddow of a big man, originally uploaded by polarcubby.

     I have had this idea for a while now: Kif and Zapp with the US flag (perhaps DOOP flag would have been better). And finally I got around to taking a few snapshots. This one has become my favorite. I like the lighting; it is soft and the colors are pleasant and lifelike. I was shooting on the balcony during a light rain and sunlight was nicely diffused. I have also adjusted exposure, so I am pretty proud of my effort.
     The idea was to position Kif looking over Brannigan's shoulder as if trying to get into the photo. I kept the focus on him and tried a few apertures. This one worked best. The other ones had Zapp way too blurry but in this one he is not the center of the focus, yet, he is nicely sharp. I used my Nikkor 60mm Macro, so I had a good choice of apertures.
     I do not have instinctive talent for photography or even technical expertise but in this case I made a few conscious choices to improve the image and I got a good result. That is an improvement! And this time I will take credit for it.

Beyond being a column that got praise from almost everyone in the office when I walked in after it was published - and also giving rise to a title phrase my editor had been saving almost as long as I'd been saving the idea itself - I think this one is genuinely funny in places and also continues my trend of discovering my own style. Were I to do it again I may swap romance novels into it as well and also try writing the column in more of a chick-lit format, but it stands as one of my personal favorites regardless.)

Valentine's Day lesson: chick-lit is not a free ride to the Chappell of love

Originally published in The Daily Cardinal, February 15, 2006

By the excess of red discount candy Valentine’s Day has come and gone – and in the immortal words of “Futurama’s” Philip J. Fry, “I forgot to get a girlfriend again.”

Yes, like Jay Gatsby sitting at the end of the pier watching the green light or Sherlock Holmes shooting morphine inside his den, there was no romance in this literature columnist’s life on the one day where everyone is pressured to have some. I had no plans for a movie date, no quiet candlelight dinner or even a random hookup – just another night among my classic texts.

I’ve considered why I always wind up single on this day – my awkward twitching and short attention span usually comes to mind – but the main reason appears to be that I just don’t know how to seriously communicate with women. When I run out of small talk I tend to get into my favorite books, and unfortunately most women I meet don’t find Burroughs and Thompson a turn-on.

So this year, I decided to make my literary passions work for me by spending a few days exclusively reading “chick lit,” books targeted toward young hip women offering advice and exciting life stories. I hoped that by going through books – a very personal form of communication – I could get a look at how the other half lives and use that perspective to my dating advantage.

I decided to stick with the basics for my research: Candace Bushnell’s quintessential “Sex and the City,” Greg Behrendt’s dumping textbook “He’s Just Not That Into You” and Lauren Weisberger’s scathingly fashionable “The Devil Wears Prada.” Swallowing back my embarrassment at publicly reading books with pink and pastel covers, I dove in with gusto.

Unfortunately, I emerged from this text-induced estrogen haze more confused than I was when I first entered. Rather than provide me with some compelling secret as to how to win a women’s heart, I found characters that were sharply written but shallow, a high-velocity cast who were hardly the sort of people I’d share a cosmopolitan at the Plaza with.

“Sex and the City” has been talked up as the single woman’s Bible and “The Devil Wears Prada” is the first chick lit book that comes to most minds, but I hope readers don’t take on those characters as their role models. They seem to be more concerned with appearance than heart, models on how to be secure and happy with heartless exteriors and the mindset “better alone than badly accompanied.”

“He’s Just Not That Into You” was a bit more help since it offered advice over anecdotes, but unfortunately the advice only heaped more pressure onto my fragile relationship skills. I can buy cheating as a sign to dump them, but apparently if I’m not the one calling her all the time and the one making all the first moves it’s a sign to throw me to the curb. Whatever happened to being adorably inexperienced, or panic at being in love?

I will say this for the book, however: it did supplement its criticism with various motivational sayings. I felt fairly fragile after being told any little misstep would get me canned, but being told “There’s someone out there that does want to have sex with you, hot stuff” and “You, the superfox reading this book, are worth asking out” is a definite morale boost.

If reading chick lit did anything it made things worse for me – the books girls enjoy aren’t a textbook to their hearts, and are every bit as complicated as they are. It’s also done little to improve my dating confidence, as my paranoia at being judged has increased dramatically and my ideas on the right thing have been thrown into chaos.

I did get one good thing out of it, however: I intend to add “superfox” onto my resume the next time I head down to the bar.

Title: It's Garry Shandling's Show

Cast: Garry Shandling (Garry Shandling), the stand-up comedian; Nancy Bancroft (Molly Cheek), Garry's "platonic friend"; Pete Schumacher (Michael Tucci), Garry's neighbour and "Hush Puppies" salesman; Grant Schumacher (Scott Nemes), Pete's son and Garry's best friend; Jackie Schumacher (Bernadette Birkett), Pete's wife; Ruth Shandling (Barbara Cason), Garry's mother and pet shop owner; and Leonard Smith (Paul Willson), Garry's nemesis.

Seasons: 4

Episodes: 72

Theme Music: This is the Theme to Garry's Show - Joey Carbone

Other Cast: Rob Reiner, Martin Mull, Red Buttons, Roy Brocksmith, Jennifer Tilly, Don Cornelius, Gilda Radner, Jessica Harper, Bruno Kirby and Tom Petty.

Trivia: Al Jean and Mike Reiss (The Simpsons, Sledge Hammer!, Not Necessarily the News, The Critic) were producers and writers on the show. Incidentally, the scene where Krusty the clown is being filmed at Sideshow Bob's wedding (from the episode Black Widower) begins ab-libbing under pressure is, according to The Simpsons commentary, based on Al Jean's wedding video where someone started filming an unprepared Shandling.

Tom Gammill and Max Pross (Seinfeld, The Wonder Years, The Critic, Futurama) also worked on the show.

It's Garry Shanding's Show aired between September 10, 1986 and May 25, 1990. It starred stand-up comedian Garry Shandling as, essentially, himself.

During Shandling's turbulent interview with Ricky Gervais, Shandling mentioned that the idea for It's Garry Shandling's Show came from a show he did in 1985 called Michael Nesmith in Television Parts. One segment featured Shandling performed a sketch where he repeatedly broke the fourth wall.

The show utilised much of Shandling's stand-up routine and storylines were often based on his "single-guy" lifestyle that dominated a lot of his act at the time. Shandling, much like his stage persona, was neurotic, self-deprecating, and often worried how he looked - characteristics also shared by Larry Sanders, from Shandling's The Larry Sanders Show.

The show is widely known for it's well remembered theme tune and Shandling's frequent breaking of the forth wall. Shandling would often break from conversing with the characters and turn to the camera to commentate on the situation or person he was talking to. Although this technique had been used before, the characters in It's Garry Shandling's show were all aware that Garry was talking to the camera. In fact, everyone on the show was aware they were part of the show. Frequently Leonard Smith made an appearance, much to Garry's disgust, just to get his face one camera.

It's Garry Shandling's Show often parodied traditional sitcoms and featured various lampoons at sitcom and television conventions. Flashbacks were regularly mocked, as were other narrative techniques such as dream sequences.

Because of the nature of the show, storylines were often manipulated by Garry for his own preference and sometimes audience members or characters "watching at home" would interfere with the proceedings. For example, in an episode where Grant is accused of breaking another boy's arm, a member of the audience comes down from her seat to act as a witness, eventually clearing his name.

The show was largely set in Garry's living room, which, according to Garry during a feature on Entertainment Tonight, was based on his actual living room at the time.

There's something delightfully amicable and endearing about It's Garry Shandling's Show. It's not cynical or in bad taste and I can't imagine anyone being offended by anything said in the show. Despite this, the show remains edgy and unique, especially in its approach to the sitcom format. The characters are likable and Garry, although obviously the star of the show, doesn't overshadow them.

Garry himself is almost impossible to pick fault with. His monologues are almost always packed with great jokes and funny one-liners, sometimes from his stand-up show, and despite being neurotic and somewhat insecure, he's comfortable and welcoming to the audience and viewers at home. You almost feel like you're in on the joke and it's strangely comforting to watch.

It's easy to compare It's Garry Shandling's Show to Shandling's later and perhaps even more ambitious success The Larry Sanders Show. Both are fronted by neurotic comedians slightly obsessed with their appearance, both break the forth wall, and both parody television formats.

I think what makes both shows such successes is their ability to satirise in an acute way without going too far. Both shows seem to ridicule what they essentially love. Some shows rip their targets to pieces, but The Larry Sanders Show and It's Garry Shandling's Show seem to show genuine affection for what they mock - even if, in The Larry Sanders Show's case, the humour can seem a little cold. Shandling clearly has a comprehensive knowledge of sitcoms and chat shows and it shines through in his work.

Shandling's a greatly perceptive and emulous comedian. There's definitely something very unique in the way he approaches comedy and sadly he doesn't seem to get the recognition that some of his peers receive - Larry David, Ricky Gervais, Jerry Seinfeld etc. However, his influence is undeniable, with a string of shows employing similar ideas and themes - Extras, Sean's Show, Rob Brydon's Annually Retentive; Curb Your Enthusiasm. I've even heard people argue that Seinfeld has strong similarities with It's Garry Shandling's Show. Both are set in comedians homes, both are based around the fictionalised lives of stand-up comedians, they both star Jewish leads, and both have segments of stand-up comedy. But I'd really have to call any similarities between the two shows, purely coincidental.

Anyway, I'd like to finish with a few quotes from the series and to offer my admiration to Garry Shandling for creating such an engaging and funny show. If you'd like to watch It's Garry Shandling's show, sadly it isn't available on DVD. Instead you can watch the odd episode of youtube or download it over at myspleen.net, although you will need to be invited by someone if you don't have an account. There are also a few VHS copies floating around on Ebay, I believe.

Quotes:

GARRY: In all my years of dating, I never once tried to impress a girl by stealing a car. Ya know, I bought them cars... Okay, I rented them cars.
(TURNS TO THE CAMERA) Okay, I rented the girls.
---------------------------------------------------------------
GARRY: I was thinking about getting a vasectomy, but the idea of being in a cast for six weeks...
Then everyone wants to sign it...

---------------------------------------------------------------

IAN: Dukakis, I heard it was Bush (HIS ACCENT MAKES IT SOUND LIKE BOOSH)

GARRY: Boosh? Boosh didn't even run.

---------------------------------------------------------------

GARRY: The last girl I made love to I said, "Was it good for you?" and she said, "I don't think that was good for anybody."

---------------------------------------------------------------

For one, it is reaffirming to know the universe speaks to us continuously, whether it be through Tesla's aether, or what Bohm referred to as nonlocal connections. How and why, in my opinion, is immaterial. What is important, is learning how to listen. Two, certain recent [towering] events (notably the potentially WWIII instigating situation in the KauKasus mountains, and the kickoff of the dehumanist [mount] Olympics, threatened conspiring to redirect my focus back to the realm of fear, but have taught me there is a pathway (a circular one, I'd suspect) one could follow to elevate one's self to a higher realm, by first deflecting the neural pathways into the lower regions.

When looking outwards and upwards, trying to move one's self from a mind of ignorance to one of awareness, you will inevitably face the great beast. That beast, is the conspiratorial octopus, whose multiple tentacles, have penetrated almost every aspect of our lives; from science, to religion, to the "arts" themselves. The closer you get to the head of the octopus, the more your ratio of answers than questions increases. [Found the first image on a site showing the extent of the reach of a multi-tentacled beast innocuously known as the NCAA.]

One could deduce the beast/creature is also a Hydra, and should one get too close to any of the heads (as two of the authors involved in the above book, Danny Casolaro and Jim Keith, may have), you risk being put to the sword yourself. Rather than risk that route personally, I'll opt instead to vibrate at a lower frequency for the time being. As I deduced last time I contemplated the octopus theme: phalli and tentacles are connected at so many levels, they can, in many ways, be considered one and the same.

Looking at the last of the above images (a depiction from the Biblical tale of Shadrak, Meshak and Abendigo: three names / extensions that will arise again before this is over), it should be clear that phallus worship (disguised as monotheism), predates most known forms of Octopus worship, or any group of Japanese men having a wank at images of tentacles penetrating the innocent. From such a perspective, whether you're the monogamous type, preferring one penis per orifice of your preference, and one God to serve/please over many, or polytheistic and polyandrous, fantasizing/fearing the rape of many tentacles, is moot.

Being a creature born with one penis, I can attest to considerable personal energies being spent thinking of, or in the course of pursuing, couplings for my own tentacle. The thought of having many such appendages, would seem unfeasible not accounting for a quantum expansion in mental processing capacity. Hence, as I sit at my computer, resisting baser distractions which naturally tug at me while vibrating at this lower frequency, I push my focus lower, going within, into the depths of my own universe, to contemplate the symbolic meaning of my octopus.

This journey (which I alluded to at the beginning), began the first day of the month honoring the man who would be God, Augustus. At a friend's house, awaiting to go out, Galaxy Quest (a movie I had seen before, when my eyes were nary open) was on the television. The aliens in the film (pictured above), called Thermians, cast a reflection of themselves as normal humans. However, when they were subjected to torture (i.e., pain) or aroused sexually, their true nature was revealed.

Looking at Webster's Code Book, we see reflection defined as: "an instance of reflecting; especially: the return of light or sound waves from a surface." Digging deeper, we find that reflecting means "to turn into or away from a course: "deflect," or "to prevent passage of and cause to change direction; e.g., a mirror reflects light." We could go far deeper, but for now, it'd be a fair assumption, that the mirror may not be the best place to look if we want to find out who we are. We'll reflect on this further, in part two.

Above, we see one of the Thermians, in a state of increasing sexual arousal. Her tentacles have come out and are enveloping her human mate. Another human walking in on them was a little disturbed at the sight, as I suspect we would all be naturally. However, taking a look at the devilicious photo of the same actress, Missi Pyle, I'd have to confess, I'd be hard-pressed to deny her a proper shagging.

But, I'm not gonna turn this blog into a list of girls I'd like to shag (though I had been wondering, during times of frustration/introspection, whether the end-result might matter). There's a plot element in the movie, of a device called the "Omega 13," which is capable of either destroying the universe, or rewinding time by 13 seconds. As for the Omega, it wasn't too long ago I learned that the Omega was framed on the one dollar bill: {*1}

Also, note the 8 legged spider, and keep in mind it has three eyes (for part ii). The occult significance of the number 13 is near endless, so aside from pointing out it's an oft-repeating feature of "the bill," I won't get into all the permutations here. What I will stress however, is that the letter Omega is the 24th and final letter in the Greek alphabet.

Hence, an argument could be put forth that the Omega 13 (of Galaxy Quest) is a "reset" button. And, based on the present near-hopeless state of us (humanity), one has to wonder if a restart is the best option (thinking of the Matrix and such).

On Sunday (8/3), I settled in to my own routine, to watch the Venture Brothers (a show which merited it's own prior blog), and I caught me favourite character, Brock Samson say something like "or they may come at us in some kind of Octopus like tentacle thing that shoots lasers out of it's eyes." [Can't recall specific words.]

Tying Brock further into themes explored herein, are the above series of pics showing us he (a) is in fact a man among men (hence, we can assume connected the color purple), (b) is not adverse to sexual congress with marine life (the water metaphor, plus this scene was from a hallucination he had while doing a DMT type substance among shamans/occultists), and (c) has been assigned a tentacular clearance level ("8"). The most recent episode came on this Sunday night (08/10) after I had already started writing this article. In order to try and get this down today, I'll resist the urge to fully explore said episode (it may require a write-up of it's own, but will strongly suggest it is a "must-see" for any synchronaut).

The topics addressed were (a) a mysterious "orb" that has two uses (one unknown, the other could collapse the universe upon itself), (b) Nikola Tesla aligned with a faction, that was battling against another which included Aleister Crowley, (c) Crowley being murdered and made fun of, (d) high-ranking agent Brock being told that even he is but a mere pawn in a game he is incapable of understanding, and (e), I kid you not, contained humorous examples of discovering and misinterpreting synchromystic clues, including a tip on deciphering Webster's dictionary.

The crown on Brock's badge, not only shows us who controls these intelligence / mercenary agencies, but synchs us to another of "her majesties" operatives Ian Fleming, and his tool of disinformation/revealing, James Bond. {*2} The not so subtle Octopussy title, not only connects us back to the world-control seeking Octopi, but tentacle sex/porn. You don't have to be an occultist to notice the blatant penis imagery: be it the powerful rocket flying out of Bond's loins, the handjob suggestive layout of her hand with the "grip" positioned where the [purple] head of his manhood should be, or how every single woman in the third image is touching the penis obelisk (again, one's hand suggestively holding the "neck").

Aside: Found a strange tribute made 17 years later (2000) named Inside Octopussy. My first thought was, "Gee, what 13 year old boy named that one?" But, there was planning/reason behind this "exposé." It was filmed at the Berlin Wall and ran 33 minutes. Let's not forget the villain in the movie was Kamal Kahn! Capping it off, when I looked on IMDB today, found this bizarre section: "MOVIEmeter: 8% since last week why?" {*3}

The last image (above) is highly suggestive, with a titillating near revelation of the vulva through the see-through fabric. The 13 "Bonds," along with the revelation this is the 13th movie in the series, gives us yet another solid synch between the number 13, the number 8 and this multi-tentacled monster we're exploring herein.

The last event which prompted this journey, was finding the movie Dagon, shortly after Brock's "gentle nudge." Reading the comments on someone else's blog [BTW: they can be a great source of information, so if you're not in the habit of reading comments, get into it] a person going by anadæ recommended the movie (based on one of H.P. Lovecraft's writings). As I've come to expect from the synchrosphere [¿can I call it that?], between said comment and my writing this, Dedroidfy found a thorough site with all books Lovecraft (online). [On a sad note {*5}]

The above scenes are from the sacrifice ritual from Dagon. Beyond mere nudity, the scenes (a) hint that blood serves a purpose to lure the beast (hence, she was cut prior to being offered), (b) show the victim being lowered into the pit/well, where the god/octopus first squirts her with his oily discharge, and (c) most importantly, after her [ahem!] "disney moment," she is now dangling above the pit, so that the beast has to arise from the depths beyond the well to consume her.

Dagon's images also take us back to the arena of tentacle rape, a world which I didn't even know existed prior to undertaking first exploration of octopus them. [It would seem there are many fans: don't miss this comment.] In the odd news category, also found this bizarre story: Octopus sex man avoids jail, which though misleading (insinuating Octopus sex was his crime), offers up this useful nugget: "McLagan's self-esteem was so low he equated himself with a beast." Speaking of "the beast" (another moniker for Crowley), be sure to read the above exchange between Beast Boy and his friend / love-interest / soon-to-be victim.

While some would speculate that the internet gave rise to octopus porn culture, the 1934 cover of Spicy Adventures (see library of covers) would suggest otherwise. The theme has been with us since I don't know when and I'm beginning to surmise, inexorably connected to who and what we are. Whether pop culture is perpetuating the idea consciously, subconsciously or unconsciously would be a matter of great (and perhaps, trivial) debate. As you can see above, even Marvel Comics got in on the act. [Any Briton who cares to tell me whether the last above image is a joke or not, is welcome to comment.]

Subsequent looks at Futurama's Beast with a Billion Backs (covered in prior blog, and in detail by Hidden Agendas) convince me that while metaphoric and extremely clever, the main plotline of the movie is tentacle sex. The cover, featuring the most sexual character of the series, attests to that. My only question is whether the conspicuous location of (or even reason for) the V light behind her is a subtle nod to those not anally inclined, as to which orifice of Leila's the tentacles are intent on permeating. [For those interested in the grisly answer as to whether Leila got penetrated, see Quentin Tarantino, You Suck).

Aside: I'm sure this is just coincidence (one of the few), but I found it interesting that both IMDB's Futurama's BBB and Inside Octopussy entries have a "V" next to the date. V for Vaginal penetration???

The subsequent image (above) is the art-work of a young fan, which strongly supports my argument about the passing of memes. This was obviously not a conscious effort, but note the placement of the sole tentacle, Frye's tonque out in [oral] anticipation, the pink hearts (i.e, vaginas) and white swirls on background (¿along with upside-down male genitalia?) and lastly, the pronounced [¿engorged?] hearts in place of his eyes, indicating the confusion of carnal lust, as flowery love.

Coninuing to resonate at this lower frequency, we find actual photographs of real people, ranging from hack amateur to professional photographs, of the sexual connection between Octopus and the self being repeated. The placement along the genitalia (or, lower chakras) could speculatively be seen as natural, but the center image is the one that grabs my attention the most.

In particular, I'm fascinated by the centering of the core/mouth (¿third eye?) of the Octopus directly over the heart (chakra). But, before I look deeper in the well, let me apologize for the mental rape I've subjected you to (yes, that man is wearing a bra). If you want to take this journey with me, you've got to come all the way.

The most eye-opening scene in Dagon [for me], was one where the protagonist was dreaming (i.e., with his third eye) {*4} of this lovely girl [who he, the protagonist, was unaware was actually his Gemini twin he was fated to join]. As they prepare to kiss and "couple" (I normally try not to use the word shag more than once in article, though the actress to the left was also quite shaggable ... oops, that's thrice now), he [and we] suffer from following shock (¿or revelation?)

The first image (one just discussed), on its own would imply little. However, the next one, shows the protagonist's father, exposed after her removes his mask (made of human skin). A few humans were skinned in the film (too graphic, hence I'll spare you), and the suggestion was the practice was tradition. The Greek word "apocalypse," as many of you may already know, literally translates to revealing by lifting the leather veil/covering. Have I stumbled into an apocalyptic truth herein?

At the beginning of this article, I discussed the Octopus of our "us versus them" world. It is a terrifying beast, and we've been instilled with a fear to constantly be on our guard, because it may be lurking around every corner to get us/subvert us/rape us. [btw: whoever took the first picture, would it have hurt to tidy up the apartment just a little bit? Oh, and yes, we get it ... pussy. That was not so clever.]

Its tentacles reach into the food we eat, to the [prescription] drugs we take, to the television we watch, and to even the music we listen to (discussed in prior blog). Even though I didn't label them as such at the time, my first-level conspiratorial expositions / research found "unseen hands" [nod to Epperson] wherever I looked. They were everywhere, and I confess, the beast was quite daunting. However, the following images don't seem so frightening, do they?

Note the significance of Lisa Simpson coming out of the recesses of her dark closet, in her Octopus outfit. Looking back over all the preceding images, I have to wonder if this scary octopus reaching at us from every direction is the lie, that keeps us tethered, ravaged and subjugated. What if the tentacles were our own instead, our connections to reach into everyone and everything, reversing the polarity of the flow, and indeed turning fear into love. Perhaps there lies a little Octopus inside all of us?

I was inspired to find an artist in America who has named his company SoulGlass (see the imagery). An artist, despite the uncreative state most art has been reduced to (topic of a prior blog), is one, who by definition, communes with his creator/soul, hence with the creative infinite. I can't say if it was the glass-blower's intent, but to me, such a "glass" could serve as the fragile container to hold one's soul. Practicality would dictate protecting such a structure, lest it shatter, with a hard yet pliable covering. A tough leather covering perhaps?

Looking at Revelations, from the cryptic metaphoric manual known as The Bible, and trying to account for the implanted distractions/deceptions put in at the beginning, and those later added by endless Czars of the Roman Empire (some tend to call them Popes of the Vatican), we are told that for the end times to begin, the beast must rise to destroy the [material] world. The Cthulhu mythos and the Kraken poets tell stories of similar nature.

Seeing that we, like the Earth itself, are 80% water, I think most of us are standing on the wrong shores, focused on looking out towards the wrong depths. {*6} Per Revelations 13:

1 And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and I saw out of the sea a beast coming up, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon its horns ten diadems, and upon its heads a name of evil speaking,

4 and they did bow before the dragon who did give authority to the beast, and they did bow before the beast, saying, `Who [is] like to the beast? who is able to war with it?'

So, perhaps if we wanna find the beast, we must look within the deep recesses of ourselves, and open the door to the shadow self we've spent a lifetime (or perhaps, lifetimes) trying to avoid. The universe is speaking to us: remember Fight Club? The oft-maligned Crowley, think of him what thou wilt, was completely in the right about one thing: asserting your will/power on others, lest you let them assert it on you. Come to think of it, that is precisely why we are in the mess we are in.

However, I'm not about to go off half-cocked and suggest we slay the beast within, for I like many here among you [Ding from memory bank: "There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke." We'll revisit same song before this is over.], am still ignorant and confused as the true nature of ourselves (¿our elves?). We still toss out terms like good and evil while looking for saviors, without even understanding the meaning of the words, or even which side is deceiving nor which is assisting us. We blindly follow fools, until a new fool comes along, turning on the old and labeling him "evil," all the while, the new leads us back to "ground zero." [Credit to Mercurial Talismans for tip.]

How can we know who the ominous "eye" watching over us is, when we still don't even know who the "I" is? It is one thing to find the beast, and that is the simpler part. But, it is quite another to know his nature.

Hence, next up: triads, 8's, the water door, cubes, the grand chessboard, the Lion's Gate, "to infinity and beyond!" And, of course, more octopus porn! :-)

To be continued in Octopi, Phalli, Cubes of Life (II)

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*1: Thanks to reading Wrong Way Wizard's excellent article commemorating 7/4 1776: O Hey Can U Dig, By The Dawnz Early Light, Ma Peeps? In it he points to Talisman video by Charles Stanfeld Jones (who I believe is the same source I made the spider discovery through). We'll revisit the Rubik's cube and 1776 before this is through. [LB]

**2: Some visiting Brit's were poking fun of how dumb the average Americans have become, and while I concurred with their opinion, I asked what made them think they were any better? When I suggested they don't even know the queen runs their country, they insisted her position was merely "ceremonial." A few points later (percent ownership of the UK land mass, the "royal" air force, the "royal" navy, and who their most powerful organizations [MI5/MI6] belong to), they were forced to reconsider.

Hm: Now, I'm forced to wonder why it is expected demanded that we address those of royal [ignoble] lineage in the plural? [LB]

*3: This deserves it's own footnote. "Inside Octopussy" featured an actor named BJ Worth [¡grimace!] playing himself (¡no pun!). But, his resume suggests more. Of course he would be affiliated with the film XXX! [LB]

**4: An anonymous commenter once speculated whether we truly understand the nature of the third eye, beyond labels like good and bad. This is not my answer, but knowing Cthulhu is the great beast that lies dreaming in the deep, have to wonder if one of our many astral connections (tendricles) is not a symbiotic one between us and the great beast. [LB]

*5: Occult researcher/writer Kent Daniel Bentkowski of Kentroversy passed away in between this writing and my last. I had misgivings about including it as a mere footnote, though others (notably Greg from Occult of Personality and Henrik from Red Ice) have said much more on his passing. Personally, I just wanted to express my gratitude for Kent's work and all the insight he has given me on my path to enlightenment. [LB]

*6: I mentioned this last time around, but in case you missed it, Live from the Logosphere's Reptilian Brain, Cthulhu, Neptune, Andromeda and the Beast of Revelations is a must read and on-topic. [LB]

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