Yes, he had his paycheck withheld. Yes, he is obviously working through a legitimate business again. Back when we were engaged, I fronted the money to start his own independent contracting business. I also paid for the license and his business cards. I wrote up invoices, faxed bids to clients and basically did all his secretarial work, while living off WIC and buying diapers through the Coinstar.

The day we got his business license, I remember him swearing off working for another "Hack-Job, Asshole, Two-Bit Roofing Company." He was going to be his own boss, and never go back getting paid by the square. Of course, when things got bad; when he would screw-up a job, or someone would "stiff" him money, he would slink back to his ex-boss, and ask for a job.

Looks like things got bad for Rooferman. I bet they are even worse now that his entire paycheck is gone. I'm trying really hard not to feel a tiny bit of redemption, can you tell?

Other events scheduled for today:

1. Parenting Class per court order ( I am not showing up to my Status Conference without EVERY REQUIREMENT met). 
2. A haircut. The white trashness has reached its maximum.
3. A little black dress I was eyeing at the local hippie store, but couldn't afford to buy.
4. Dragging JL to Singles Meet and Greet. I even got a babysitter!

I hope I see Sushi Boy, because I will promptly ignore him all night. Go comment bomb Karmatee, and harass her into going too.

This guy claims the woman climbed aboard while he was asleep, thus creating new life without his consent. He claims he woke up, told her to “cease and desist” and she did, but it was too late. Now he’s a dad (something he doesn’t deny) but he figures he shouldn’t have to pay to help the kid.

Buddy, grow the fuck up. That’s not the way it works. This country is full of people, mostly men, who pay big chunks of cash to their exes every month so that their kids get to eat and that sort of thing. I’m one of them. Am I happy about it? No. Do I regret it? No. It’s like the electricity bill — I hate seeing it every month, but I know it has to be paid.

You’re the father, you pay. Be a man, you deadbeat.

Okay anyway, my mom is only a woman with a title. I don't know who she is except that she dropped out of college when she first got refund check and used it for alcohol and a VCR. She was a crack addict, started with my first youngest sister and ended with my youngest sister. Gave me and my brother alcohol fetal syndrome. I can't remember numbers worth shit. He can't read. I can read my ass off, he's like a damn calculator. Even though my mom did all this to us, we're still able to smart as fuck. The youngest out the 5 has graduated from high school or is going to graduate from high school with impressive ass grades. Anyway, my mom isn't perfect and I seriously don't believe she deserves that title. Anyone can mistakenly get pregnant and have kids. But it takes a woman like my grandmother to be mom. I didn't have the luxury of being the type that didn't have to want for nothing. Yea, I was abused A LOT and have the scars as a reminder. Through all of that and even the fact my mom screwed my head over. I'm still me and people still seem to love me or like me. Not only is my name Unique but people say I am too. I don't know if thats a blessing from the Alcohol Fetal Syndrome or what not but I guess.

Out of 21 birthdays and Christmas's my mom has ruined 17 of them. I just don't get her. She's been to rehab over 250 times. Get out, wait a week and go back to drinking. Even when we even told her we didn't like her drinking, she'll sneak the shit in the house and do it anyway. Then in the same ass funky ass breath she'll say she love us. Yea the fuck right...I'm with little faith as of right now. I don't know if the abuse I've gotten as a child and all up til I was 18 has caused me to be more hostile than normal. Its a lot of things wrong with me but its only a problem when its provoked. I'm over emotional too. I just can't seem to cry unless I'm truly pissed. When I'm sad its like I ignore that emotion. I'm aggressive but I'm not I don't what you call it at the moment. I'm not one of those type that'll rub and hold you and shit or try to soothe you and shit. I rather just tell you to get the fuck over it and suck the shit up. But that shit is showing me that what they've done to me I'm doing to others and only cause of that is cause thats all I knew.

Then I get these men in my life that lie to my face or half try and shit. Then on top of that half hear me. Swear up and down that I didn't say or tell them half the shit I knew I told them. When I'm hurt or in pain, I remember that especially if I'm arguing with someone or if I'm upset and I tell someone something. But sometimes when it comes to remembering the good things; its a got damned blur. I can remember getting jumped clear as day faster than I can remember a wonderful day at the park. Its seems like I rather deal with abuse in a relationship too. Its not them abusing me in a sense, its me sticking around and letting shit I don't like slip by all because I prefer giving people more than 3 chances. I used to hate when my mom tried to tell me things about a man. Like yea you was a prostitute and thats how all 5 of us got here cause you needed away to pay for your habit and all but don't try to school me on shit when you couldn't even help my grandmother take care of your own kids. You sat and watch your mother struggle with us. When all the hell you did was drink and get high. I still have that damn burn mark where your ass sat a cigarette on my leg. That shits still there. I'm only 9 months, in a ragged ass apartment in the middle of the winter, I'm next to a open window in a crib while your ass is under a pile of blankets sleep. If it wasn't for that man to take me from that building, no telling how more unstable I would be. I sometimes hate my mom but it don't last long cause I'm not the type to hate folks. I don't like using that word either. I seldom use it. But recently being in this relationship I'm in has caused me to do use it a lot and it makes me wince every time I say it. Unlike how my family treat me...I started off as a piece of coal and as they kept fucking with me...I turned into a diamond with a lot of flaws. I can't catch a break period. My mom is the root too all my agony. I look at her and look at me, only thing we got in common is we both have eczema and like salad. Everything else I wouldn't even know, I don't talk to her she don't talk to me.

I don't know if I need advice or what on this situation. I pray and all. Its just some things need to be done without God's help. He can't solve all my problems. I have to make that happen. I can't hold my hands together and look up at the ceiling every time shit hits the fan.

Affectionate was the word I was looking for earlier. I don't know how to be that. I try but I feel weird like I shouldn't be doing it.  Unlike my boyfriend, I do try and do make progress. Its just this affectionate shit, its a damn struggle cause I don't know what to do about that.

-Sigh- I need advice.

From the Canadian Press:

Didn't happen.

Drove into town and dropped LB off at daycare, where she demanded "I want my Scott."  Have you figured out who Scott is? Yeah, the new male teacher, who apparently is "hers" now.

Drove home. Passed out until noon. Got up, drove back into town for my Child Care Assistance appointment at Dept. of Human Services. Got denied. After filtering my monthly income through some equation, my co-pay would have been be more than "cost of care." In layman's terms: I currently pay $275 (the monthly tuition for Early Head start), and Colorado Child Care Assistance decided based on my income, I should be able to afford a $299 co-pay before they will help out.  Obviously, I'm telling the State of Colorado to shove it.

Nothing on the dockets today. No legal education to absorb. No word yet on the fee waiver.

Rooferman made an unexpected appearance this weekend. Showed up at his parent's house while LB was having her sleepover there. He stayed the night, and when I called to check on my daughter in the morning, Grandma Ruby dropped the bomb that he had randomly showed up without calling. And whatdaya know, he wanted to see his daughter (since he was there already, oh how convenient!). I said as long as they didn't leave the house, and Grandma Ruby was there...Christ I am still a spineless coward.

When I showed up to get her, Rooferman looked like complete and utter HELL. He looked like he hadn't showered in a week. His hair had grown out in greasy clump, his eyes were red and watery. He looked like he had either been working non-stop for a week or had just come down from a 3-day meth binge. He's always been a small guy, but this time he looked physically sick, like he hadn't eaten in a while.

He made it clear to me that he didn't show up to see LB. He was just there to crash. He thanked me for letting him see her, but said nothing about where he'd been the past 49 days, or what his plans were for the future. He just said he had to go somewhere for a meeting, and I left with a crying 2-year old.

I feel sick in so many ways today. I'm going back to bed.

Still having crazy dreams. Saturday night I dreamed Michael Jackson was married and had been hiding his wife in the basement like that sicko in Austria. I had other dreams involving my friends Curmudge and Jiji, but I can't even begin to make sense of them. My brain is exhausted. The moon looked full last night, maybe it was effecting my unconscious.

Still no word from Rooferman. Its been 7 weeks since he's seen LB. No dreams about him this weekend, thankfully. Apparently his presence has made his way to Boulder to infect my friend's dreams. Sorry Elly.

There was minor chaos at daycare this morning. A little boy who has been in the same class as LB since he was 18 month and she was 12 months didn't want to say goodbye to daddy. He is the youngest in a family of 7 girls. He LOVES his dad. Since he was a baby he has cried miserably every time his dad drops him off.

My own daughter barely mentions her dad. She sometimes says "Daddy gone" or "Daddy not here." Occasionally its been "Daddy's truck broken." Other than that, she doesn't cry for him, ask me when he's coming, or even acknowledge the fact he exists 90% of the time.

 I can't decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

I want my daughter to have a dad. I want her to have his support and his love, and to reciprocate these feelings. I want her to have as normal a life as she possibly can. I want her to bond with him. I want them to value each other's presence.

 However.

I don't want her to feel pain because of her dad. I don't want him to disappoint her. I don't want him to abandon her, or chose other things over her. I don't want her to feel like she is somewhere on his priority list under his job and his new family. I don't want her to be emotionally and mentally damaged by her father, and I think its natural for a mom to want to protect her child from that.

The courts want you to have the "child's best interest" in mind. How can a relationship where a daughter's trust in her dad is constantly being shattered, be considered in her best interest? How can regression in emotional (separation anxiety), mental (sleep disturbances), and physical (potty rejection) development be considered in her best interest?

I know I have to look at the bigger picture. If I bring up potty training issues, a judge will most likely look me in the eye and say "She'll survive." I have to remember that one day she will be a semi-self-sufficient school aged kid who is capable of making her own decisions. Its hard to keep that in mind when I've been making all the decisions for her. She's only 2, she's still dependent on me. Her best interest has been my sole responsibility, and I think I've been doing a pretty good job of it. Its especially hard to keep the big picture in mind when I've had to compensate for her dad when he doesn't keep his promises.

I'm trying really hard not to become that bitter single mom who shoots herself in the foot in front of a judge. Cause I'm not that mom. I'm only 26. I'm too young to be jaded, broken and hating the world.  I'm a good mom who wants the best for her daughter, who will support and encourage a text-book "loving, meaningful relationship" between her daughter and her ex. At least I will try.

This must be my mantra. This will lead me to the promised land.

Right?

I've been rehearsing how I'm going to introduce my case since I sat down at my desk this morning. Luckily, its dreary and cold out, so most sunshine-addicted Coloradans are hibernating today, and my phone has remained silent. But yeah, I'm determined to get what I need to represent myself from this (apparently awesome) attorney.

An update on Rooferman. Grandma Ruby apparently went by his house again, only this time Blondie was there. She talked to Ruby for a good while, explaining to her why Rooferman is NOT going to jail, and the Hot Check dude is just full of it. Blondie also told Ruby that....get this, she has been working on the roof with my ex.

Yeah, you heard me right. Ruby told me that Blondie even had a near-death experience on a ladder while "helping him roof."  She apparently was so freaked out by it, she went into his truck and cried.

For those of you who don't know, Roofing is in the top 10 most dangerous jobs, due to people falling.

The fact that this man has manipulated his new girlfriend into climbing onto a roof with him, when she obviously has no experience and is therefore endangering her life....for HIM, makes me want to puke. Why? Because I was there. Because he has found another girl as clueless as I was.

Dear, kind Ruby actually asked me, "Do you think he even realizes what amazing women he has been with in his life? I mean, you moved to Louisiana with him, and now this girl is up on a roof, working with him."

Part of me wanted to reply,  "OF COURSE HE REALIZES IT! OBVIOUSLY THIS TACTIC HAS WORKED WELL FOR HIM IN THE PAST! I GUESS HAVING A BIG DICK WILL MAKE STUPID WOMEN FOLLOW IT TO THE END OF THE EARTH!"

Great sex is not worth risking your life. It does not mean that the person loves you. It makes me sad that someone else has become the victim of that situation, who is now so devoted to this man, she has started sacrificing her own safety.  Blondie also is going to get a full time job, so Rooferman can have the winter off from his dangerous trade, and they can get their "heads above" water.

I was saying those exact words to Ruby 2 years ago.

So familiar. So sad. So not my problem anymore.

The Divorce Clinic was presented by Colorado Legal Aide, who informed the group that the reason they put on Pro Se Clinics is that they have a 3-year waiting list for people wanting a divorce. 3 Year Waiting List. Christ, that probably means half of La Plata County wants a divorce! Sadly, I've already applied for Legal Aide, and do not qualify.

I don't know what I was expecting when I walked into that room. I think I was waiting to be discouraged and intimidated by the court system, and my lack of legal knowledge. What did I leave with? Gratitude. Thankfulness. Even a tiny bit of confidence.

For the first time, I was glad Rooferman ditched me with the engagement ring still on my finger. I was the only person at the clinic who didn't need to go through a divorce before filing for custody. After sitting through an hour and a half of explaining dissolution of marriage, financial assets, filing fees, due process, summons, certificate of service, freezing accounts, my head was spinning. I was totally overwhelmed. There was no WAY I would have remembered all that stuff, had I wanted to file for Divorce.

I looked across the table. There were three couples: one White, one Latino and one Navajo. The Latino couple didn't say a word the entire 2 1/2 hours. The Native couple was on the ball. They knew their rights, they knew what questions they wanted to ask, they even knew how to work the high-tech coffee maker, while the rest of us balked at the single serving filters.

 The White couple totally baffled me. They laughed and joked with each other the entire time. They asked if they had to file all the same paperwork if they agreed on most issues and if they had to serve each other if they were still living together. I looked at them and thought: These people want a divorce? Why? They get along! They are civil. They look like they actually LIKE each other. The husband even gave his wife his coat when the temperature of the room dropped to 50 degrees.

I really should have been applauding them. They are going to have a great divorce. They probably won't use the kids against each other. They may even remain friends. Maybe the fact that I can't even have a phone conversation with my ex was pricking my ego. Maybe I assumed that all failed relationships end like mine, with pain, abandonment and bitterness.

I looked at this couple and my evil internal voice screamed "You get along! You treat each other with respect! Work it out! Don't get divorced! Don't you understand how much I wish I could have that?!"

I was judging them. I don't know the details of their marriage. I don't know what happened to make them think they couldn't save their relationship. The pain and suffering of my life was like a black spot on their silky white marriage. After living with a man who would routinely tell me I was a half-ass, that I "didn't take any pride in my daily work," the fact that this man put his coat on his wife's shoulders, triggered such an insane emotional response in me, that I really don't know how to explain it. It was almost like they were obligated to me (just for treating each other like normal human beings) to work out their marriage.

In the end, I talked to the attorney who had so graciously volunteered her evening to heap information on us poor saps. She was very smart, very reassuring, and actually made me feel like I could do this on my own. I've been researching custody in Colorado for almost a year now. I've filled out the paperwork about 10 times, but never had the guts to submit them.

But you know what? I think I'm almost ready. I have perspective now, that my life could be a hell of a lot worse. I could be legally attached to this deadbeat. I could be financially responsible for the hot check he wrote last week. I'm not, and I'm grateful. And I really don't have anything to be scared of.

Right?

P.S. The update on the hot check is nothing really. Poor Ruby went over to his house like I suggested, knocked on his door about 10 times, and waited. After a few minutes of no response, she left him a note in his truck, informing him of the situation. Wouldn't even answer the door for his own mother.

I'm starting to think the day I pawned that ring was the best day of my life.

Police brought in more wanted parents Wednesday night, knocking on doors around the city in the hunt for about 700 parents -- a fraction of the 6,500 active warrants for unpaid support. Nearly $13,000 was collected before Wednesday night's sweep. The office is constantly working on new ways to collect the debts. The office is already looking at a plan that would allow them to seize vehicles from debtors. That is the story in Flint, Michigan. You're are a deadbeat and aren't going to pay anyway. We are taking your car to punish you. We will probably sell that car if we can.

Is taking a car an effective fear tactic or is it well within the rights of police or government to impound your car in order to make forcibly collect a child support payment? What is truly amazing about tactics in Michigan is that we hear a great deal about the punitive actions of child enforcement. At the same time the media is full of talk about the state's economic troubles: lay-offs, unemployment and more. Could there be a connection between "deadbeats" and the inability to get a job. Doubtless, government hasn't considered, much less care about such a thing.

From an accountant who has done work for Biden.

Family, I feel an obligation to honesty and truth to share with you some facts. My Father and Mother instilled in me the values and morals of treating people fairly and always being honest. If you purchase something, you pay for it. If you borrow something, you give it back.

I have been "stiffed" three times in my 30 year professional career by someone who I rendered services to, gave a finished product to, but who refused to pay for those services even though they acknowledged the services and products were correct, were what they asked for, and were never challenged for not being correct. I am lucky in having only three, but those three hurt badly.

Joe Biden was one of those people. I worked on his 1988 Presidential campaign financial disclosure engagement. I busted it for him and got everything right. He stiffed me for over $15,000 worth of work. He refused to pay once he dropped out of the race. I did similar Capitol Hill campaign financial disclosure work for Bob Dole, Pat Buchanan, and a Democratic candidate for Ambassador to New Zealand. All of those folks paid even though they lost the election or did not get the appointment. That type of work is very demanding and very tedious because your efforts are scrutinized by Congress. Biden did not care.

I am on the Board of Directors of a company that owns a majority position in a private jet management company in Northern Virginia. They manage jets for businesses and rich folks. They also charter planes to the public. This past winter John Thompson chartered over $250,000 worth of air time. He paid every penny.

Joe Biden, in his latest unsuccessful run for President, chartered over $150,000 worth of air time. He PAID ZERO.

He continues to refuse to pay stating his race is over and he is out of money. He never once complained about his flights. Joe Biden is a rich man. He could pay.

Joe Biden is a liar and a cheat. I know it first hand.

Character is what life is all about. Joe Biden is a man of bad character and sets a bad example for America.

I feel compelled to share this dark side of a man who asks for your vote and trust.

Best Regards,

XXXXX X. XXXXXX, CPA, CFP
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX, LLC
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XXXXXXXXX, MD 208##
Work - (240) ###-####
Cell - (301)###-#####
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Website - www.xxxxxx-xxxxxxxxxxx.com

People have been leaving comments all morning!!! Thank you all!

Feel free to visit my site and see the comments that others have made. Just go to my site and click on the link to my Interactive Comments Forum. Take your time and view the other pages if you like!

http://catharsis.scriptmania.com/

http://www.freewebs.com/mynitemare/

http://www.freewebs.com/mynitemare/

I just wanted to let everyone know that my server is experiencing problems right now, but not to worry….I anticipated this so I have numerous “Clone Sites” of my page and I am publishing one or maybe even two of them immediately! Woohooo!!!!

<GRIN>

Like I said in my last post on my own site….I won't be bullied anymore and I’m not going anywhere!!!

Having said all that I just don’t understand ANYTHING being more important than ones children. **********

• To Jenny, her drinking is more important than her kids.

• To Glenn, his being high on prescription meds is more important than his kids.

• To John, money and his hatred of his ex-wife is more important than his kids.

• To my Mother, her bitterness at the cards life dealt her was more important than her kids.

• To my Sister, her next score of illegal drugs was more important than her kids.

Why do people have children if those children and their importance are disposable? I don’t understand how anyone can consider anything as being more important than their kids.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not one of those people who think that my children are little princes who are perfect because of the mere fact that they are mine. Nope. So it’s not an ego thing with me where they are so perfect that I, and everyone, must genuflect at my children’s feet. Nowhere near that. Just like in life, I am nothing if not realistic about my sons and nephew.

It’s just that I cant think of anything, that if I knew it was in any way negatively impacting my children, that I wouldn’t give it up in a heartbeat. 

Is it that the addicted choose not to see the impact on the children? Is it that they convince themselves that it isn’t having an impact? Or does it truly not matter to them as long as the continued addiction is not impeded in any way? I guess I am just musing. Because I don’t have an addictive personality it is a little difficult for me to understand the NEED for anything if it puts ones children in danger or alienates them.

Don’t forget to visit my site called “I Call Myself A Jerk Magnet!” http://catharsis.scriptmania.com/ And yes, the jerk is still obsessed and pretending to be a “white-trash Women” when he posts comments in my comment forum! I find it amusing. I think you will as well!!!