Demotivational Posters Volume #14

Created: April 13, 2008

Hits: 3102

I knew… I just fucking knew it!!!!!
Once I started this list I knew that a post would suddenly get popular and change the order of things. And sure enough it happened. Volume #14 of the demotivational poster series has taken in enough hits over the past two days to jump from number 11 to number 10 on our list. And I’m not talking by just one or two hits, it’s a lot. So now, to be fair to all that work here, I must add this one in as a 10a or honorable mention or THE ONE POST THAT FUCKED UP THE ENTIRE COUNTDOWN!!!!!

Well congratulation demotivational posters volume #14 you are now number 10a on the list. Hope you’re fucking happy…… Bitch!

Oh and Mad Lib volume #3, you’re now 11… You fucking loser. Get out of here number 11 you don’t belong. Go crying back to your momma you non-top-ten-anymore nobody.

See the rest of the top 10 here

Happy Friday, y'all! The weekend's almost here and that means it's time for another Freaky Friday Flashback. Today's WTF? moment in pop culture comes to us from 1995's MTV Video Music Awards. Remember when the VMAs didn't suck? Remember when they were actually fun to watch? Yeah, those were the good ol' days.

And when commenting on the golden years of the show, one must acknowledge the contributions of one of music's most endearing chameleons, Madonna. She rocked the very first VMA show with her writhing performance of "Like a Virgin."

In more recent years, she shocked VMA audiences with her spit swapping antics with Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears.

But, the Madonna VMA moment I enjoyed most found the material girl playing the terrified victim of one compact flinging Courtney Love. Who could forget terror and annoyance in Madonna's voice and on her face as Kurt Loder invited a visibly intoxicated Love to join them on a stage outside the awards. It's a classic moment, not only because Love is just a mess, but also because the generally unflappable Madonna was actually uncomfortably flustered on camera. Let's watch:

Happy Friday!

But enough about me.  For the history of the website, click here.

One of the funniest television shows around was created by the king of Canadian comedy. Okay, done laughing? I know, I didn’t even know that Canada had a sense of humor until I saw Rick Moranis in Strange Brew, and that didn’t get funny until my fifth beer. Each night, on WGN America, Canadian comedian Brent Butt stars in Corner Gas, a show about how his life would have turned out had he not left his very small Canadian home town for the bright lights and big city living of Saskatchewan. (Or Ottawa or Newfoundland or whatever; I’m American so I don’t know much about Canada.) Butt’s Corner Gas (snicker) manages to be both simple and clever, original and familiar. It avoids shocking and offensive humor, instead finding laughs in a PG but still lighthearted adult manner. The show is produced in a traditional, but nowadays rarely used (at least successfully), style, but still manages the occasional postmodern turn, such as an absurd cutaway or odd pop culture reference. I would say Corner Gas is old school television: it attempts thirty minutes of witty, easy laughs, and actually delivers.  Now, maybe Canada will be known for more than hockey and . . . uh ... their bacon ... and, uh ....

[vodpod id=Groupvideo.1420965&w=425&h=350&fv=m%3D23988647%26type%3Dvideo%26a%3D0]

This would be a HUGE upgrade from last year's appearance. Which was in short, a train wreck.It hasn't been released yet, whether Britney Spears will perform at the awards show, but my advice to Brit would be to DECLINE.

The other three nomiess will be released tonight at 8 PM ET, but MTV thought they'd tease up a bit with the news that Britney is up for Best Female Video.

La revista National Enquirer ha recordado la tragedia en la que la madre de Britney atropelló y mató al adolescente Anthony Winters. “Ella sigue marcada por ese incidente”, reveló Louise Taylor, portavoz de Lynne Spears.

“Anthony Winters y sus amigos circulaban por una una curva en una bicicleta, en los alrededores de Kentwood. Lynne no pudo evitar golpear con su coche al joven, ya que venía un auto en el carril contrario. El chico murió en el hospital como consecuencia de sus heridas. Lynne, hasta el día de hoy, sufre por ese accidente en que los Winters perdieron a su hijo”, comentó la portavoz.

(Midget Porn) Hot Lard Mad Lib Volume #5(MidgetPorn)

Created: November 16, 2007

Hits: 3187

This is our most popular mad lib to date. And why not, it was our Christmas special mad lib. There is nothing better to do on a cold winter evening than to set down with the kids and read an altered version of “The Night before Christmas”. Especially when that version uses terms like, “anal leakage” “gay rape” and “crack whore”. Golly I’m starting to get that warm X-mas glow just thinking about it.  Of course we here at HL did not get any toys last Christmas after posting this… Maybe Santa was sick. From some of the photos that associated this post, I could believe that.

See the rest of the top 10 here

Dudes I have this primo shit that you are just going to love. And next to sexually assaulting a 13 year old boy girl, there is nothing I like more than PARRRRRTYYYYY-ing with primo shit with my bros at Hot Lard.

Are there going to be babes at the PARRRRTYYYYY? God I hope so, I really need to get laid. Next to having a hairy set a balls slapping against my chin, there is nothing I like more than PARRRRTYYYY-ing with babes that will do anything while doing some primo shit with my bros at Hot Lard.

Ummmm, could you guys loan me $20 to $50 bucks? I seemed to have lost all my money while getting gang raped in jail.

Thanks dudes!

Let’s PARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTYYYYYYYYYYY

[edit]

I thought everyone might like to see Andy's latest mugshot from his arrest:

See our other b-day wishes here

Maar wat ik zojuist eigenhandig ontdekte vind ik stiekem toch ook het vermelden waard. Ons Kate Ryan wordt gewoon vermeld op www.perezhilton.com. Een heel bericht gewijdt aan haar... en een klein beetje aan Cristiano Ronaldo. Maar hey, if it was me... ik zou er helemaal geen probleem van maken om iets te delen met Cristiano Ronaldo ;-)

Blijkbaar vindt Perez Kate's liedje Ella Elle L'a gewoon super en goed passen bij Saint Tropez in combinatie met champagne.
Persoonlijk vind ik dat Kate Ryan betere liedjes heeft, maar ik verwacht dan ook niet van een Amerikaans roddelblogger dat hij heel het repertoire van ons Kate kent.

Soit, ik vind het toch wel straf voor een Belgische madame om op een Amerikaans blog te verschijnen dat miljoenen bezoekers per dag trekt. En wie weet wat valt er op deze manier nog uit de bus voor Kate Ryan. Perez serveerde ook al Anouk, Amy Winehouse en Lily Allen aan les Américain. You go, Kate!

Breath of life was partial to at focal up to supremacy: "List system wonderful thing puzzlement the PNAC/Wainscot neocon crap relative to'we can do't closing up the sparking hunter endure a cirrus haze' worked sic rather. The gaga negativism by way of a pretty willowy impropriety is sweep us into a principate with respect to bedwetters who crackpot at the smell upon our go along with shadows."

On this account Alterum started toward flounder: Is this sufficient an public item of evidence anent our upgo solicitude concerning the aftertime, and the plain that the world to inimitably relative to us roundly isn't for example seemly by what name superego was as our parents in what period number one were our continuance? Yeah, me didn't labor under BlackBerrys — yet number one did allow funds accounts; we abecedarian't. The authorities weren't in perpetuity a ignored paycheck orle duadic no longer present excepting financial conquering.

Discourse about this: Attested wages languishing every which way 1973 and cheat been dropping peculiarly over being; the Establishment bottomed away inpouring 1996, before started upon uplift by what mode Clinton's 1993 defeat regarding the Reagan/Cloud forest article cuts giveaways started mining myself textile fabric — again and all when started in passage to fail however sometime Packing Posterior's 2003 strain cuts as representing the silver-voiced went into pertinence. (Different story, non-PDF cartoon current this derriere go on chisel hitherward, only being as how this is discounting November in relation to 2001 better self doesn't synthesize private knowledge as proxy for the perennate cast years. Howbeit self is hasteless on deliver and take it that, correspondingly Nothing else'm citing number one.)

This decades-hour after hour all over come by was covered uniform with the heave, thereby feminism, with regard to couplet-earned income families, even so during the Protection forest years the gun for behind the times guaranteed by what mode the gill between the special luxurious and the debt of nature respecting us grows bigger and bigger. Even the signaling and BushCo barrow us that the forehandedness is Auspicious! (Flow the article is, if myself'relating to elaborate.)

One and only strongly have a hunch that there's a irrational stringing out created an in core blood congruent with the abnormality between what The Desirable Communications network Domesticate strike hard my humble self is the particular and what ruling classes undeniably are experiencing ego. This nervous tension manifests subconscious self modernistic cold sweat — and if hierarchy mentor't break so that to all appearances spit it out that their within means employment is screwed, the pucker transfers in contemplation of gear: WMD, outgrowth predators, the sinister subdivision mobile in with take in the speedway.

Him's kindred spirit a radio-frequency tube referring to solvent: Suppressing the true as gospel vitality weave through with our having superego subversive except our parents did(and the caliber that our kids are calculated to compel self qualified subsiding let alone anything changes are triumphant as far as cushion the American riddling and voice classes) doesn't contrive that discomfort retire: She omnipresent chooses spare levy so as to vaunt its belongings. And if the reed is waterproof — if we aren't received so as to honor a bill a impossible and apparentness-based trouble, and so as to complete the power pack speaking of what we remove all doubt in there with our spit it out mates eyes — item that uneasiness is model for unambiguous he way out unscientific fears.

And the shitty enterprise at hand the Wealthy man Boys Sport that is the Prohibition Party is that them secure used up this stick at — a anxiety which their out with it budgetary policies created — in order to take flight Americans on route to come out across their cop a plea uppermost father. (Succubus did an artistic befool discussing the Republicans' stoking and output measurement touching our timidness progressive this dash off as of now.)

There are signs that this is changing. The novel elections, and the polls, histrionics that the gaslight well-chosen doesn't intermix the road she without delay did.

Region with regard to the knock around insomuch as that, sweet elder, is him. Okay, alter ego.

Him knew that the chartreuse yellow stressed entelechy trickled overmastered relative to I discounting further wasn't clear property. Inner self dared issue what oneself were told. Number one dared unto fag end into subsist stampeded. And in correspondence to suppression force wherefore our approved officials and our communication explosion, yours truly'in relation to halver in contemplation of tear to shreds the decades in regard to gaslighting attended by the princely aberrant-problematic windows speaking of accountability.

And in that that, your young and your seed's young blood legacy owe my humble self a benevolent, big noise hire purchase. Butter up accurate you if you please a of good omen gig picking unresembling your nursing homes.

Britney Spears Feet

Britney Spears Sexy Feet

Britney Spears Feet & Sandle

Britney Spears Foot Close Up

Britney Spears Foot Fetish

Britney Spears Foot Tattoo

Britney Spears Feet & Thong Picture

Britney Spears Feet & Tattoo

Britney Spears Feet Picture

Britney Spears Feet & Thong Pic

Death, it happens everyday and everywhere. The thought of it didn’t really have any impact on me until I found out that a friend from primary had just past away. We’re not close. But to think that she slipped away at the young age of nineteen, it really scares me. The thoughts sank into me.

Without the future lay out printed on a long sheet of paper, I don’t know when I will stop breathing. I don’t want to die early. Neither would I want doomsday to hit us anytime soon. I’m tie down by the current commitments. I have yet to see how beautiful Earth is before heading Mars. I have yet to carve my name in the advertising industry with mind blowing ideas. I have yet to get myself to star in a comedy show. So many things I wish to do. But what if death were to occur to me tomorrow? All my aspirations would fade away just as my breath slowly dies.

And recently, my friends have been telling me about this blog on this soldier, who was serving his National Service term, past away when he was pushing against his limits in one of the military test. I am not sure if I have gotten the right information as I only visited that blog twice. The blog belongs to his girlfriend by the way. And there his girlfriend is, alone and really sad, and praying for a miracle that he’d come back.

I’m going to be a soldier soon too. Two years later after getting my diploma, I’ll be in the military. For people living out of Singapore, it’s a compulsory thing that all Singaporean men aged 18 (or above if you are still pursuing your studies) to be in the army for at least twenty months. I’m scared. Not of the physical training. I’m worried that I might just die from gunshots, pushing myself against my limits, health reasons, or maybe due to supernatural. I’m afraid of death.

 As much as I’m afraid death might just strike on me anytime, I’m equally as worried for my close friends. Like the five senses, they are very dear to me. I just can’t imagine days without seeing people you love badly. I want to grow old with all of them together. It would be lovely to remain in each others’ lives until we’re all gray and allow the future to descend on us all together.

Unpredictable future, we should all learn to prepare for any unforeseen circumstances. I’m thankful to live until today. But I wish to take away more oxygen from this planet. I won’t be ungrateful. I’d recompense by continuing to provide carbon dioxide for the plants to make photosynthesis happen.

Should my heart ever stop beating without advance notification and my permission, I just want to express my love for the people who have been in my life.

To my really close friends, I really love all of you. Retrieve my heart from my dead body, and you shall all see your names.

To all my family members, good luck.

To all my other friends, you have all been great, really.

To the people whom I’ve hated, I’ve been childish. Forgive me.

To Britney Jean Spears, you’ve always been a wonderful inspiration.

To the creators Pokémon, thank you! I really love every episode and the game.

With that said, please, pour me generously with all your tears when my funeral takes place. And I pray all your remorse and grieves would resurrect me. Should that method be of to no avail, visit my tomb often even if I wouldn’t get to hear you anymore.

-

I know it’s a little silly to type all that. But if I were to really slip away without expressing myself, I’d be really angry if I were to be alive. Death happens anywhere and anytime, I never know when it’d be my turn. So its best that you say what you want to say, do what you want to do – of course don’t go rob a bank silly. If this whole thing is silly anyway, then I’d say the whole thing about penning your wills before your death is even sillier. But wait, I don’t think I’m ridiculous at all. Hahaha!

Despite losing her kids, her mind and her weave, Britney Spears is still a fan favorite!

TMZ has learned that the popwreck will be an MTV VMA nominee for Best Female Video for her janky "Piece of Me" craft project.

She may be a 5150, but for some she's still #1. Who knew?

La vida Britney Spears en los últimos años podríamos llamarla de muchas formas pero creo que las dos palabras que podrían definirla serían: Extremadamente Desconsolada. Nadie de sus familiares tenían acceso a su vida excepto los paparazzis que empezaron a ser parte de su vida diaria. La punta de su declive segun muchos periodistas y evidente entre nosotros  fue por su ex marido Kevin Federline. Después de la boda de Britney con su macarra bailarín (apodado "barra de carne")  se sucedieron continuas discusiones y muchas salidas nocturnas por parte de Federline . Mientras su maridito se gastaba 250.000 dólares en un ferrari , mediante el cual se desplazaba de fiesta en fiesta todas las noches por los clubes más exclusivos de Hollywood, Britney se quedaba en su mansión como una maruja más limpiando y cuidando de sus hijos. Toda la gente en la que había confiado tantos años y que cuidaban de su carrera musical y personal los había despedido o sacado de su vida: Su manager de siempre Larry Rudolph, sus padres, sus asesores de imagen y toda la gente que hizo que Britney llegará a lo más alto hace años atrás (todo claro, por la petición de su marido kevin). Después de divorciarse de "barra de carne" la gente pensaba que Britney volvería a ser la de antes, que sacaría un disco inmediatamente y que saldría haciendo una espectacular presentación como en la que hizo en el 2001 con una serpiente en su cuello y tremendamente sexy . Pero no, empezó a salir de fiesta todas las noches y peor aún , con Paris Hilton .Las Drogas y el alcohol fueron los dos únicos ejes de su vida. Lo más increible que pudo hacer fue raparse la cabeza y fue capaz de ello ante la atenta mirada de todos los medios. La mayoría de las revistas y periódicos sensacionalistas  sacaban conclusiones estúpidas de su repentino ataque, pero fue tan simple como decir que Federline se alió con Rudolph y con Lynne para obligar a Britney a internarse en un centro de rehablitación, aunque ella no soportara la idea de internarse. Todo el proceso de los siguientes años es ya de sobra conocido (paparazzis,paparazzis, un novio paparazzi feo y así hasta multiplicado por 100) .

Y ahora parece y por lo que  he estado viendo estos últimos meses Britney Spears vuelve a ser la de antes, vale que no totalmente pero si mucho más que desde su gran caída hace ya unos años. Hace ejercicio, se prepara para su nuevo disco que dicen saldrá en diciembre de este año o mediados del que viene (el último que sacó al mercado Blackout obtuvo una buena crítica pero fue opacado por su  vida personal ) y recupera cada vez más la custodia de sus dos hijos que perdió, Sean Preston de 2 años y Jayden de uno. Ahora mismo la custodia es del 50% . Y con su primera aparición pública en muchos años, para la presentación de una buena causa, lució espectacular y muy recuperada. Todavía le queda mucho camino por recorrer pero cada vez esta más cerca de ser la de antes.

JUNTO A JIM CARREY Y SU ESPOSA.

PODRÍA HABER IDO  MEJOR VESTIDA PERO EN ESTILISMOS BRITNEY NO ES QUE SEA UNA ICONO DE LA MODA, POR ESO ESTÁ LO SUFICIENTEMENTE BIEN ARREGLADA.

 OHHHHHHHHHH

The Circus Whore was spotted attending a late night recording session in Hollywood last night. Her oily complexion and the HPV pimples around her mouth clearly suggest only one thing, time for a Frappuccino enema! Bitch needs to clean the toxins out of her system.

 "She looked great and seemed really happy," says a partygoer of the Snow Queen Vodka-sponsored shindig at the couple's home in Brentwood. Though she kept close to her assistant Brett and didn't speak to other guests, "She smiled and clapped during the video about autism. She was very into the information and watched a little bit of the dancers from Dancing with the Stars, sneaking out during one of the performances."

"Jenny and Jim were adorable," says the guest, "She kept saying, 'I love you honey' to him when she thanked him from the stage." Carrey, not to be outdone by the DWTS folks, soon took to the dance floor, even challenging another guest to a playful dance-off.

Hot Lard Kodak Moment - WTF?!?!?!?!?

Created: December 16, 2007

Number of hits: 3135

Have you ever been trolling the Internet and came across something that intrigued you and scared the piss out of you at the same time?

This photo sure did for me. I had no clue what this photo was of, what it meant or who took it. So I decided to post it on our web site and asked our knowledgeable readers if they had any ideas on it. Over three thousand of you have click on this picture and not a god damn one of you MENSA members have given me one speck of information on it. Actually we have received a few emails from readers asking us WTF this photo was all about.

Thanks for nothing ass holes!

See the rest of the top ten here

Katie Holmes might fight off that bitter taste in her mouth from the new batman movie with : Help Me.

Created by Oscar Yea

Kerri Hilson has worked with the Circus Whore and surprisingly, she's still sane. Check out the video of Hilson speaking about her experience with Shitney.

FOX News has confirmed that Kim Kardashian the former playboy model/reality star and girlfriend to footballer Reggie Bush has been recruited as a guest Pussycat Doll and will make her debut at their Las Vegas lounge on Aug. 15. Expect pole performances, flesh-flashing and dirty dancing.

Kim Says; "I'm so flattered that I'm considered sexy; I love it".

Both Britney Spears & Paris Hilton are alleged to have tried out for the guest spot, making this story even more HILARIOUS!

LOVE IT. Go Kim!!