How may this be possible, you may ask, in the midst of a busy life with our compelling need to earn, to do, to achieve?

Be still, then. Even for moment. Listen. Listen, in your heart to your angel sing gently to you, “Remember who you are.”

Remember that your life now is not you. It is not who you are. It is merely a life that you have chosen to undertake with the fullest of loving intentions before you were conceived.

Remember that you are not of matter and physical substance only. You are even more of Spirit in its most joyful and freeing sense.

Remember that you were created in Love and in Love you remain forever. Remember that you are always and will be forever loved.

Remember that this life with all its joys and sorrows, ecstasies and terrors, and moments of peace and moments of tension was created for you that you may flourish like a magnificent tree in the Source’s garden. Remember that in this garden you are free to relish the joys of all of Creation forever.

Remember that everything is perfect because the Source is perfect.

Remember, then, who you truly are within.

When you slow down your busy-ness and finally decide to listen, then you may hear. All it takes is a simple, “Fiat.” All it takes is the will to have few moments each day to close your eyes, breathe the loving Source into our souls, and simply be.

To listen to heaven through your angel’s song, even now as you live, is to take a few steps everyday towards Home.

"Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight"

Moonstar88 - Migraine

"Oo nga pala, hindi nga pala tayo
Hanggang dito lang ako, nangangarap na mapa-sayo
Hindi sinasadya
Na hanapin pa ang lugar ko
Asan nga ba ako? Andiyan pa ba sa iyo?

Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ko sayo? Aasa ba ko sayo?"

Brighid: Welcome Angel, I’m so happy to have a guest of your distinction as my first interview. May I interest you in a glass of champagne?

Angel: Thank you for the welcome, it’s an honor to be allowed out for this interview; but I’ll pass on the alcohol--it clouds the mind.

B: All right, let’s get down to the business of getting to know you better. Please tell us a little bit about yourself, a quick bio.

A: Quick scarcely covers multiple lives, Brighid. I’ll hold back the misery of my first life, and focus on the now. My family owns half the docks, controls a large majority of what comes and goes in this little town; but, excuse the pun, “I have bigger fish to fry.”  My brother was killed ten years ago, bled to death by a bitch of a vampire, and since then I’ve devoted myself to learning all that I can to hunt them, to kill them all.

B: I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds like your lives have been full of cinematic drama. If you had to choose an actress to portray you, who would it be?

A: Well, Kate Hudson is beautiful, in a soft, curvey, blond, pull-her-hair out kind of way--like me, before Mercy. I’d have to say, slap a blond wig on Kate Beckensdale in Underworld and make the creatures she hunts the vampires, and we have a fair approximation.

B: Your chosen scent is jasmine, very lovely by the way, is there a significance to the flower for you?

A: It was the main flower in the bouquet I threw onto my brother’s casket, Brighid. Delicate and white as it fluttered down... I swore at that moment I would never let another vampire hurt me or take a man from me, again. I wear the scent as a reminder.

B: You make your first appearance in A.E. Rought’s, Prey for Mercy. Please tell us a little bit about your relationship with Mercy.

A: Convoluted and painful.

Our history spans more than one lifetime. Most recently, Mercy resurfaced in Maine and did everything she could to make my life miserable. The bitch stole my fiancé, embarrassed me at the Cotillion, parading her dark power...powers that should have been mine all along...

Okay, to stop rambling and put things succinctly, I may have entertained soft emotions for Mercy once, in another time, but now, I want her dead--permanently.

B:  How did you become aware that another woman’s lifetime and sorrow had become reincarnated through you?

A: A decade ago, dark, luscious Mercy seduced her way into my parents house in Louisiana. In my brother’s bedroom, she took what she wanted from Christopher and then killed him while I hid in the closet to horrified to scream, too fascinated to look away. I gasped when he went limp, and Mercy looked to my hiding place, seemed to see through the louvered door and straight into me. Her eyes... those damned glowing irises triggered a soul memory in me. My past life didn’t blossom like a spring bud, it blasted open like a percussion grenade.

B: As a foe, what are your greatest strengths? What are your weaknesses?

A: Greatest strength? I’m patient and persistent as hell.

Weaknesses? If I had any, I would have to say it was my...over zealous nature--it’s hard to contain a tempest in a teacup. 

B:  Without giving too much away of course, will you be crossing paths with Mercy again?

A: Our fates are tangled. I was in her past, she will be in my future--not time, not death, nothing but the sun can come between us.

B:  I’ve heard through the muse grapevine that AE Rought has written a book dedicated to your life story. Can you give us a little glimpse of the story?

A: The only thing I will say, Brighid, is that AE does not paint a flattering portrait of my life after Christopher’s death. She shines a light in the dark places of my soul I would’ve rather kept hidden; she lays bear my indiscretions and failures. If I had it to do over again, I would have come to another author, one less...brutal.

B: Finally, in honor of the approaching Halloween festivities, what costume would you choose for yourself and why?

A: Excuse me while I choke on a giggle. What costume, you ask? Why...an Angel, of course, because I am anything but.

Thank you again Angel for being my guest. I look forward to picking up a copy of Angel’s Fall and for those who haven’t read Prey for Mercy yet, don’t wait any longer! It’s a fast-paced, kick-ass, dark and sexy ride from beginning to end. Buy it now.

A little bit more about Angel’s authoress:

AE Rought is a multi-published author, with works published under two different names. When writing as AE, the stories explore passion and pain in their many shades, through the genres of fantasy and the paranormal. Look for witches and magick, fangs and fur, and heart stopping emotion.

AE's blog: http://aerought.blogspot.com

AE's website: http://www.aerought.com

AE's email: aerought@gmail.com

90210: Annie is still annoyingly cheerful and happy and I'm trying to figure out if people have not learned anything from the shows of the last years, such as The O.C. or One Tree Hill. 90210 feels very wooden and fake, everything seems to perfect. Where are the real dramas? Where are the strong characters that stand out?

At Home with the Braithwaites: I remember watching this show first eight years ago when the first season was on TV. It's all about the family Braithwaite and how Allison wins 38 million pounds in the lottery. Season 1 involves her starting her own charity and trying to conceal it from her family; Season 2 shows the entire family struggling with the new found wealth and Allison falling in love with her husbands brother; Season 3 has the lottery company claiming the money back after it was revealed that the ticket was illegally bought by the underage daughter and Season 4, well, let's not mention Season 4.. Of course this series would be nothing without it's characters. Most of them are unlikeable, but there's chemistry between them all and even more so, they're believable.

Desperate Housewives: The show's got a very different atmosphere and at the moment I am not too sure I will continue watching it. I dislike all the characters and there seems to be far too much going on with new characters and explanations of the past to concentrate on what made this series great - the friendships between the main characters.

Dexter: Many people have recommended Dexter to me and how it's the next best thing to sliced bread and after reading it's got Angel's Darla in a major role I knew I had to watch it. I didn't like the first episode. I really disliked the second episode and tried my best to watch beyond episode four, but I don't like it. I don't like the characters, the story, the camera work, nothing. Now many people would just move on and say the show is rubbish, who cares, but it is very unusual for me to not like something recommended to me by so many people with similar tastes. If you happen to come across this and like Dexter, please tell me why you like it.

Respectable: It's another UK show of which only one season was made. It's all about a brothel with some strange working girls. All the characters are great in their own way from Hayley to Maureen, Yelena and Michael and it's a shame this didn't carry on.

Sanctuary: It seems very much like Torchwood and whilst I like Torchwood I am not too sure this works. Robin Dunne is annoying and doesn't have half as much charisma as he needs and I liked Amanda Tapping much more in the few bits of Stargate I watched over the years. But, it appears that this is a show with a few previous Stargate characters which makes it good for the fans. I suppose it's the same reason I liked some episodes of Heroes as it had Kristen Bell and David Anders. However, there is something intriguing about the show, the characters or rather the creatures seem interesting and I want to know how everything happened and what it all means.

True Blood: I'm not too convinced I like the latest episode of True Blood. Just like many before it's dragged along far too much, however the last scene more than made up for it. Wow, I did not see this coming. And it makes me wonder who the serial killer is, especially after Bill said a vampire would never leave the blood behind. And what does the bar owner have to hide?

All in all it kind of feels like TV has become so serious lately, all the new Sci-Fi shows are so grown up and gritty. What happened to shows like Buffy? So many shows are related to terrorism or messed up characters or they just look extremely dull all in grey and brown tones preferably with a lot of rain. I wish there was more humour or snark on TV these days.

Only three more months until Dollhouse!

Some more posts regarding TV shows I watch can be found here, here and here.

Estrenó su casillero de victorias el equipo de Ocaña F.S. merced a su victoria ante La rápita en un encuentro en lo que lo más descadado sin duda son los dos goles marcados por Angel, portero de Ocaña, que además fueron los dos primeros del encuentro de ahí la importancia de los mismos.

Importante victoria para el equipo de cara a los próximos enfrentamientos y para no descolgarnos de los puestos de acceso a play-off.

Partido donde las defensas se impusieron al ataque, el partido se decidio en ocasiones puntuales, en el min. 10 de partido aprovenchando que portero jugaba adelantado, Angel aprovecha la ocasion para intentar un disparo desde su portería con la suerte de que la jugada acabó en gol, al descanso se llegó con el resultado 1-0 con un buen trabajo en equipo de Ocaña.

En la segunda parte el partido siguió igual que el 1º tiempo, y a falta de 5 min para el final del partido Angel volvió a intentar la misma jugada que en el primer tiempo y con la suerte de que el balon entró por la misma escuadra haciendo imposible la estirada del portero, que esta vez no estaba tan adelantado.

Con el resultado el equipo mantuvo la calma y con el trabajo defensivo muy bueno desarrollado a lo largo del partido, llego el 3º con gol de J. de la Cuerda aprovenchando un robo cuando el equipo contrario jugaba con 5, el resto del partido fue un tramite para Ocaña.

Las impresiones de Angel, heroe del partido, al final del encuentro eran las siguientes "aparte de los dos goles marcados, que esto es muy raro que un portero abra el marcador de un equipo, contento sobre todo por la victoria del equipo y por no encajar goles en contra que ese es un indicativo importante del buen trabajo tanto personal como del equipo en defensa que es donde se empiezan a ganar los partidos".

As the year turns toward Samhain and to the part of life where the veil  between the natural and the supernatural becomes thin and transparent like misted glass, my thoughts turn to the moments in my life where I have been so close to spirit that I have been helped – ‘saved’ – if you like and also to those moments where I have had my fingers well and truly burnt by forces that are so immense and beyond any human conception of morality, that they are referred to as both God and the Devil, but which are neither one nor the other, but which both exist beyond our thinking powers of three dimensional reason and are sometimes encountered in our dreams - and in our nightmares.

The Angel of Inverness

Inverness is a beautiful town in northern Scotland, which has always held a particular spiritual resonance for me. Maybe I am just obstinate, but I have never been to see the famous Loch Ness, or considered the possibility of a prehistoric monster lurking beneath the dark waters, but the walk along the river banks toward the Loch have always attracted me with a dark magic.

I remember walking by the river, on my way back to my ‘digs’ around 2am, after a rather noisy party organised by other members of our troupe. It had been a hot summer and the Ness was almost dry in places, dry enough for folk to tiptoe across from one bank to another; which many company members did, apart from one unfortunate girl, who lost her balance and ended up sitting in two or three feet of water in her best dress. Naturally she was named ‘Riverbed’ for the rest of the tour.

I was enjoying my walk home and the ringing silence, after hours of loud music, when I became aware of two figures approaching on the other side of the narrow road that ran alongside the river. The figures were still a long distance away, but I felt a twinge low down in my abdomen and a slight feeling of danger. There was nothing about the two men that seemed threatening on the surface, but the closer they drew, the more alarmed I became. The rational part of my brain told me that they were simply two friends walking home – the instinctive part was screaming that my life was in danger.

Although it was many years ago, I remember being utterly aware of every sensation I had during those moments, and how time seemed to lock into slow-motion. I can remember every thought I had and every sensation I received, both physical and spiritual.

As they drew nearer, my alarm grew and my lower abdomen began to produce the sensations I sometimes feel when I look at the ground from a high bridge or building. My way of walking had also changed and had become stiff-legged, like that of a dog prowling and circling another animal, before an attack.

Suddenly and without warning, the two figures crossed to my side of the road.

My body and the universe took over and I became a passenger and an observer to the events that followed - events which must have taken less than a minute, but which seemed to last at least ten times as long. Looking back, I am convinced that they actually did last that long for me and that I had begun to operate in a different time-mode.

My body turned sharply left into a driveway leading up to a large house, as I continued walking in my stiff-legged gait, toward the glass panelled doors that formed the entrance. I remember hoping that the men would simply think that I had reached home and I also hoped I was wrong and that their reason for crossing the road was just an innocent diversion in their nocturnal walk. I could hear my feet crunching on the gravel forecourt as I approached the doors. What if they were going to attack me? If they were, I had handed them a gift, as I was now enclosed within the square walled grounds of the darkened house.

Then I heard running feet and I knew my instinct was right. It was strange, but even though I was really frightened, my body refused to run and continued to walk in a brisk stiff-legged way, toward the entrance. The glass doors met in the middle, with two levered handles; I grasped the door handle on the right and turned it

it opened.

Time began to accelerate, like an old film - a woman dressed all in white and with a white headdress appeared – actually she seemed to appear at the instant I stepped inside, as if she had formed and solidified from the shadows in the unlit porch. I ordered her to lock the door, which she did at once and without question. At the precise moment the lock clicked, the two men started beating on the glass panels, snarling and pressing their faces and bodies against the glass. They were ugly and ferocious and seemed more like wild animals than human beings.

The woman and I watched silently as the beasts howled and writhed against the doors, like starving wolves that had been denied their prey, until at last they lurched off into the darkness.

I looked at the angel in white as she explained that I was in a private hospital and that she was a nurse on night duty. It was around that moment, that I regained - or was given back - control of my body. I began to shake so violently, that she quickly found a chair for me. If she hadn’t, I’m sure I would have fallen to the floor in a dead faint. Then, bless her, she made a cup of tea for us both and sat with me for the next hour or so.

Although we talked, there were many questions I did not ask that night, as it took me several days to come to terms with the improbability of my escape. I was a man of 41 years of age and 6’2” in height – why did she trust me enough to lock the door with me on the inside? If she had hesitated, even for one second, it would have been too late. Also she seemed unaffected by the incident – I was still shaking like a leaf an hour after the event, whilst she calmly finished her rounds - If that was incredible enough, I will never forget two things she said to me:

“That door is never unlocked”

“I never come this way on my rounds – I don’t know why I did tonight”

I sat there for a further hour or so and then, when the dawn was breaking, she let me out of the rear entrance and I walked back to my digs in the early morning sunlight.

                                                     ~

I now realise that I had not only been physically saved that night in Inverness, but that I had also been shown the ultimate states and opposite poles of harmony and discord – expressed as the beast-like evil of the two men, the utter purity of my ‘angel in white’ and also myself as ‘everyman’ standing between them. Was the nurse an angel, or was she guided by an incomprehensible force? Were the men thugs, or were they the personified embodiment of the ultimate evil? Was I just incredibly lucky that night, or had I received the most profound and certainly the most shocking lesson the universal spirit has ever given me.

“…when man became aware that he knew, and wanted to be conscious of what he knew, he lost sight of what he knew. This silent knowledge, which you cannot describe is, of course, intent – the spirit, the abstract. Man’s error was to want to know it directly, the way he knew everyday life. The more he wanted, the more ephemeral it became.”  ~ The Power of Silence – Carlos Castaneda

Do you believe that God watches out for you?

I was driving in rural North Carolina last summer.  I had just visited my eye doctor and needed an update to my glasses prescription.  So I handed over my glasses and wore my contact lenses exclusively for a week while the glasses were updated.

And during the week I drove to North Carolina for a short visit to family.  I was only about 35 miles from my destination when my eyes got really tired.  So I pulled over at the last large town and took the lenses out, rewet them, gave my eyes a gentle rub, and put the lenses back in.

Big mistake.  I couldn't see very well at all!  Well, I thought that the blurriness would subside after a few blinks, so I got back on the road.  It was dark by now.  And as I drove further, I started wondering whether it wouldn't be smart to turn around, get back to that town and find a hotel.  Only thing was, I had driven far enough in my blur that I was going to have as much trouble going back as I would going forward.  I honestly didn't know what to do.  With my kid in the back seat, it was just her and me. I was getting worried.

I was thinking to myself that what I needed was another car that I could just follow.  It was that bad.  I was having trouble seeing my lane as we got farther into the country where the street lighting was real sparse. 

And that's when another car happened along.  Usually people on this stretch of highway drive over the speed limit, which is bad enough in daylight since it's a narrow two lane.  In the dark of night for a blurry eye'd driver it was a potential nightmare.  But then, out of the blue, I find myself behind a driver going 45 miles an hour.  What's more, it was just the two of us.  For once, I didn't have another car on my tail rushing me along.

I was sure that other driver would eventually speed up.  People often go a little slower when they first pull out into a highway and then come up to speed.  The posted speed limit was 55.  But the other driver stayed a steady 45 mph.  It was just slow enough and just fast enough for me to keep up and stay right behind him.

I just took it for the lifeline that it was, wondering when he would turn off and leave me alone again to manage as best I could.  But, I'll be darned, my angel behind the wheel drove the entire 35 miles and turned off just a mile outside the little town I was trying to reach.  He took me all the way there, and when he finally turned we were in a 45 mph zone on the outskirts!  A half mile later the speed goes down to 35, and then you're in town.

Don't know about you, but I was sure someone was watching over me and my daughter.  My scientifically minded friends would say it was just a coincidence.  But a similar event has never happened to me along that stretch before or since -- and moreover I "predicted" the event before it happened by wishing for the very thing I got.

I'm not saying an "angel" was driving the car, like a picture of something you'd see in a Hallmark card, I'm suggesting that God uses what we call coincidence to help us through life.

The person driving the car was just a slow driving person getting where he wanted to go.  He didn't know that his actions affected anyone but himself.  Since he knew that road too (it's a local kind of road), he might have wondered why I never passed him.  Most people are in a big hurry.  But he just drove steadily and I followed him like my life depended upon it.  Cause it did.

That's how God works, I think.  When you've got the entire space/time continuum at your disposal you don't need fantasy or special effects.  For God, ordinary "chance" happenings will do just fine.

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Not that I didn't like the book, because I honestly enjoyed it, but come on! The perfect one line summary for this book is "Life sucks and then you die." After chapters and chapters of suffering and grieving all she gets is one happy WEEK and that's it, she's sent off to die?

Okay, I just finished the book this afternoon so I may be a little too annoyed to have a clear POV - plus I really have to go, so I'll continue this another time.

In the meanwhile, what's you take on the book? And other Hardy books in general - try to refrain from including spoilers about The Mayor of Casterbridge since I'm planning to read that, please. :)

Have a nice day/evening!

Though I have a clear story to tell, it defies the imposition of strict chronological order. In matters of the spirit, as in the dream world, events unfold as they will and defy governance by the ticking of a clock or the flipping of a calendar. In one sense my experience has unfolded within the current of time's river, but in another my perceptions of past, present, and future, once so neatly defined, have become jumbled in the presence of spiritual revelation. Perhaps this mirrors our eternal experience. Imagine, for a moment, the possibility that the life in which we presently find ourselves is neither our first nor our last time around. If that is the case, can such neat lines of time be drawn on a constantly moving target? How could any such measure that we might impose be sufficient?

It's Sunday evening, April 7, 1996, and I am about to experience a miracle of pure communication far beyond anything I might have anticipated. With the stage set by a combination of my openness and Scott's eagerness, I am about to receive a fresh love letter from him, the first of many channeled communications from the realm of spirit. Any skepticism on your part is to be easily forgiven (remember, even some of my close friends felt that this is where was ready for boarding in a nice, padded cell!), but all I would request is an open and fair consideration of the message and its substance. Though my fingers typed the words, I have no doubt that the message is his, reflecting his personality, present perspective, and creative intelligence. I just know.
I have just returned home from a weekend road trip to Orlando, Florida, my first travel anywhere since Scott's passing. As usual I have keenly felt his presence, as well as his absence, on my journey. Though I am not at all aware of the day, it's Easter Sunday. I am on the phone with Daviea, laying in my bed enjoying a casual conversation, when I suddenly start to feel an incomprehensible energy pulsing through my body. I have come to feel Scott's presence as a tingle across the front of my body, relatively mild, but this feels like I have begun vibrating with a frequency sufficiently powerful to almost lift me up off the bed. I feel like my head is falling backwards.
Recognizing that I have no choice but to follow this powerful current, I try and communicate to Daviea that something extraordinary is happening. My voice sounds to me as if coming from a distance. "Jeez, Daviea," I say, "something's really going on here. I feel like I'm getting ready to leave my body. Somebody is definitely paying me a visit. I better go." Without missing a beat she says "go for it," and I hang up the phone and upon instinct walk directly to my computer. I light the white candle on the desk, rest my clumsy fingers on the keyboard, and virtually vibrate with the force of his presence. Then I say simply "Honey, tell me what it is you want me to know." The following words flow out, without conscious effort or the craft of writing. Here, I believe with all my heart, are words of love from the other side. Although in the original the words flow together without either spacing or punctuation, the message is sufficiently rich and dense to benefit from a little white space.

I just want to touch you so bad
I want you to know that I'm very very all right in fact I've never been happier
It's a little hard to describe but everything is different but I am so much the same and I'm so very much with you and I always will be baby. No worries about that, please you've got enough on your plate.
I'm here with you can't you feel me? Yes you can. Tell Bruce [his brother] again that I love him never stop doing that
I'm so proud of the bridges you are building with my parents I know they can be tough but stick with it baby you're doing great.

I want you to live and keep on living because now especially I feel and see through the we.
Time is not an issue it just is a construct it's not important
Most important realize that the space between us is an illusion.
Paul baby you know I love you so much don't make this any harder on yourself than it has to be. If the tables were turned you know I wouldn't have been able to do as well as you're doing.

I know how you felt at the carwash yesterday [a swirling nausea of grief and meaninglessness] it's OK its all part of the plan
The game is for you to be yourself give up the ideals and the trying to justify there's no sense in trying all that because you don't need to Yes it had its place in the plan at one time and it still might a little bit if you want it to but maybe it's time to move on

That's what I want you to do my love is move on because you need to know without a doubt that no matter which direction you move it will be closer to me
It's just that our relationship has changed a little in its dynamics because of my departure from my body, but you know I will always be here for you, wherever you are. Alone is something you never need be, and that's the great gift I have given to you.
I never got to thank you for seeing me through with such love, I knew you were there for me as always and I knew that your soul burned and still burns with a love that has made it much easier for me here on the other side.
Never doubt Baby your gifts of the spirit You've already got a rep over here and lots of friends and when your time comes you know I'll be here with my arms wide open and a great big huge smile Again, you need to know that you saw me through and I promise that I will do the same for you.

You've been wondering the reason you're healing so fast is because you're letting some of my love in just as much as you can breathe right now but you know there are infinite reserves my beloved one.
You are healing because you loved and love and did so well and there's nothing better that anyone on Earth can do. You made no wrong decisions Honey you never had a choice but to respond to your higher destiny
I will tell you and show you in as many ways as I need to that you are not alone that you are rich in the spirit you are not bankrupt to the contrary your cup runneth over (You gotta watch that a little!) and you are with me on the growth path even though my body ain't there with you right about now.

We are together now remember that baby don't get into the idea like the Christians of waiting for glory after you're dead
Remember my love and claim that now is the time, now is the glory, now we are both where we need to be. Yes the world can be what it is and it can be shitty and mainly a little tawdry but it has a purpose where did you think I would be if not in a classroom?

Our whole experience together was dream reality was metaphor and yes I have left you with a very rich legacy at this point you don't yet realize how deep
I'm sorry I had to go Honey I know it took both of us so much by surprise but it was the time
Just like now is the time for me to be with you and it's hard to describe to you what time really is but just know that it isn't at all what it seems to be and neither is matter but trust me all of these things have their place in the passion play and you will learn and come to realize what you need to know.

Yes I want you to come to Pittsburgh I am talking to you can't you hear me yes in your inner ear you know I am there
Oh my love please stay open to me and above all move on with your life because even if you fear moving away from me that is quite impossible I promise for we have shared love and will do so again

Calm down baby I know you're still scared and I understand, but peace is a good thing to strive for. I've been sending you messages and you've been listening. "The truth comes to the man whose eye is not clouded by longing." [A quote I'd heard along the drive the previous day on a tape by teacher Ram Dass on the subject of "Death and Dying."]
Oh how you burn for me and that's OK but trust me you're now seeing through a glass darkly as once was said The eternal mystery is very much now and will be and you will grow and learn to trust in that.
Your position is secure my love be at peace you are so loved and you wouldn't believe what it's like over here Just enjoy where you are now try not to tune in to the perceived losses You are better not worse off for what we shared. Never forget that OK baby?
You don't need to try you just need to open up and listen just a little Your pain is the flip side of your love and it must be and I understand that I am so proud of you what you are doing and the way you are doing it It means a lot to me that you keep my friendships ongoing they are gifts that I have left for you packages to keep on opening, gifts that will keep on giving. You are my baby be at peace.

Remember like I've told you that love is all that matters. Just remember that it will put every other question into perspective

I am so proud of you
I will be seeing you soon, loving you always. Sweet dreams

PS looking at my picture is OK even if it doesn't contain me, because I am everywhere. I am not lost, and you can start letting that feeling go Images and the sound of my earthly voice are no longer important I have been seared and freed by white light and love and now know no boundaries or edges
I am working with you bit by bit to extend yours I am proud of how close you have come to me and you will have the power this is my gift to you
(line above)of knowing while you are in the waking dream that is life of what is really going on on the spiritual real level.

You have given me great gifts and I am forever grateful and my gifts are returning to you. You feel them already you are growing in our love this is a great gift you're giving me, but you ain't seen nothing yet and I guarantee you that's a promise!

Hang in there baby! Your love of life is my legacy and the joy that we shared.

I love you don't doubt that for a second

This is what Scott so burned with longing to get across to me on the evening of that first Easter Sunday following his death. Since that first breakthrough, communion with Scott in the written word has come so easily, so effortlessly, that I at first discounted its validity. Would not real contact have to be preceded by some form of discipline, focused meditation, or other evidences of virtue? Though Scott and I had both shared a defining passion for the love of words, and a union of his creative energy and mine would as logically happen in this way as any, it seemed too easy. An interesting exercise, I reasoned, probably therapeutic, but not a source of genuine spiritual truth.
I now feel differently. Viewed in the larger context of which they appeared, and judged against the knowledge that has since been revealed to me, I am now convinced that the channeled writings are genuine communication from the other side. Though their underlying message of dynamic love might perhaps be inherently limited by the necessity of communication through static words, they are the real thing. In my life, at least, they have so far stood the test of time, yielding new levels of spiritual truth as I have been ready and willing to receive it.
On that first occasion, I could not have even begun to fully understand the depth of the letter's messages of desire, reassurance and encouragement, instruction, and challenge to heal. Questions I had not yet even asked were being heard and gently tended to, leading me forward. Even now I continue to find new and deeper meanings in each of the writings, offering explanation and steady guidance along my journey's way. I have shared them as a gift with others deeply wounded through the loss of their loved ones, and witnessed their power to heal.
So much more than flat words on a page, these words from the other side are as a sweet bubbling stream, living and flowing, meeting the deepest needs of a heart parched with thirst. They are now and have always been a gift made in love. May they speak to you as they have to me.

Do you think I can put Snow White's head into my mouth?

She is just so tiny!

This is when we were waiting, oh, not for Mom, but for going out! :D

Look at how smaller she is than me~~

Sorry, now back to my grooming... I always tend to forget what I was talking about.

I was so tired that once I got back home, I just wanted to lie there.

Have you noticed how my pants have been chopped off? So embarrassing... especially because now everybody can see my rust-stain-colored butt!

Anyway, I was nice enough to pose for Mom for quite a while~~

This is funny, as I think somehow I look shorter (I mean, length!) and smaller than before in this pic!

To be frank, I don't think I am any different from Snowy even after the grooming. Or, errrr, maybe except my herbal smell. But you know, if you're wearing that smell all the time, you cannot really notice it yourself.

So, I think, groomed or not, we are just always clean!

Love,

Angel

]]> http://goaskchewie.wordpress.com/?p=215 Sun, 05 Oct 2008 13:56:05 +0000 the mad hatter http://goaskchewie.pl.wordpress.com/2008/10/05/abis-plagiaza-massive-attack/ Abis e o formatie romaneasca de trip hop, downbeat, fusion. Nu am ascultat Abis si nici nu am fost la vreun concert al lor asa ca nu pot spune foarte multe despre formatia asta.

[Marina Gingirof, solist vocal al Abis; sursa: aici]

Dar, am primit de la Sorin (un coleg care canta intr-o formatie de alternative & stuff si e pasionat de teorie muzicala si acustica ) un link si observatia cum ca Abis cam plagiaza drumpattern-ul melodiei Angel (Massive Attack's). Asculta de la 0:25 melodia numita "post dot com" si spune-mi daca nu ti se par identice drumbeat-urile.

   En la imagen podemos ver lo atentos que están ante las interesantes explicaciones de Julián Segarra.

So today, is going to be a bit lighter... After feeling crap yesterday, and a bit emotional and all those good things, I got home. And my sister was there, just smiling. It was really good to see her. And my partner was there, and he wrapped his arms around me "Hello Angel, how was your day?" And I was calmed.

All the anxiety and raw emotion I had been feeling just vanished when I was folded into his arms. And that is just the best feeling in the world. To have someone there, who, no matter what's going on, when they hug you, the world just goes silent for a moment and you get to just be. Just exist. Everything else fades into the background... and it just can't be picked up again, because the truth is... its over... what ever happened is past... and now we can move forward.

One day I'll tell you how I met him... and you might say I fell for him because of the adrenalin rush going through my veins.... Maybe I did... but I grew to love him because of so many more different reasons...

And today I just want to be grateful for him. Technically (I think) today is our 3 year anniversary - well, it will actually be in the early hours of tomorrow morning... but it was the 1st (actually 3rd, but we'll get to that another day as well) time we kissed.... and carried on kissing each other on a regular basis, and so here we are...

I hope that I never stop appreciating him for who he is, and that he continues to love and support me in the so many ways that he does. This relationship is so different to anything else I've ever had in my life... And I am blessed to have him here with me. Lucky isn't the right word... Luck isn't the game here... blessed, a wish was granted... and he appeared... from right out of a fairy tale...

Let me tell you some of the many reasons why I appreciate him (in no particular order):

1. He loves me unconditionally
2. He does not test me, or push my buttons just because he can
3. He supports any of the crazy decisions I make, and when he doesn't agree with them, he will tell me why... and he always makes sense
4. He has never ever looked down at me for not knowing or understanding something
5. He listens
6. He pays attention
7. He still opens my car door for me
8. He holds my hand whenever we are anywhere
9. He closes his eyes when he kisses me
10. Every night as we fall asleep, I find myself in his arms, snuggled tight
11. He thinks about me and speaks to me about things before making any big(ish) decisions
12. He phones me to tell me the strangest and arbest things sometimes
13. He washes my car
14. He does ALL our dishes
15. He knows how to cook
16. He knows mostly what I do and don't eat
17. He does not do drugs or drink copious amounts of alcohol
18. He is ALWAYS right
19. He lets me love him
20. He understands me in a way that no-one else has ever tried to
21. He makes me laugh - often. At myself, at him, at everything
22. He is gorgeous
23. His smile
24. The way he looks at me
25. He moved towns to be with me - he gave up everything he knows for me - not something that's easily done
26. He can always make a dull day seem bright and a bright day even brighter
27. The sun is always shining around him
28. He does not have a mean bone in his body
29. He is always calm... when I sometimes act like a chicken with her head cut off, he is my rock. My centre
30. He puts me in my place when I need it
31. He loves me unconditionally

He is my Angel. My knight in shining armour... and there are many more reasons why I appreciate him.... but there's a good start... so... I propose a toast... to him... to all the men like him... who do what they say and say what they do. To all those with integrity, honour and loyalty. To all those with respect and love and only good things for your partners... You guys are few and far between! May you always exist in real life!!!

I am the highway that you ride.

I am not the plane you fly on,

I am the skies, way up so high.

I am not the way you live life,

I am what you regret as you die.

I am not the stories you tell so well,

I am the truth underneath your lies.

I am not what you see in front of you,

I am the angel behind your eyes!

A bit of a 'hair on fire" remark, but here is the article...

Angel: Being such a big Buffy fan I never really could get into Angel. I suppose it was mainly because I liked the dynamics of Buffy, the supporting cast and the dialogue. Angel just always seemed to try and be all gritty, urban and LA. However, it appears I was wrong, Angel is actually very good, the characters are great and I love Cordelia played by Charisma Carpenter. Her character has evolved so much since she started on Buffy. I'm not all convinced by some of the storylines in Angel though. Yes, I can understand and follow the arc in Pylea, but ever since Connor was born it has lacked. Everything that made the show good which is mainly how the characters work with each other isn't really there and the entire Cordelia ascension arc wasn't convincing.

Clone Wars: Liked it!

Desperate Housewives: Glad to see this back, but I'm not sure I actually like the show any more! They went all One Tree Hill, let's jump in the future, but the characters appear to have become unlikeable. Especially Susan which was such a great character. The mystery this season looks like it'll be good though, Edie and her new husband seem very intriguing.

Eureka: Eureka is a bit of a weird show, sometimes I feel like it doesn't quite know what it wants to do. The Sheriff annoys me more than he doesn't, I don't see why people like Allison Blake and it's too much of a weekly mystery show with no substantial arc. Well, that changed this season and they tried to implement a story arc which sort of worked, even though it felt extremely rushed at the end. And then there's the midseason break with a big cliffhanger. It's almost like it's an J. J. Abrams show!

Fringe: Meh. I don't like it. I don't like any of the characters, the show is incredibly boring and the only reason I'm still watching it is.. Well, I suppose I'm hoping for it to get better. The entire show doesn't make sense, it's a lot like Eureka apart from the light heartedness. The only thing I really like about the show is the superimposed lettering every time a new location is shown. It's a shame, I quite like Joshua Jackson.

Gossip Girl: The Bitch is back.. After all the 'It's not what you think' and 'I'm sorry' and the puppy dog eyes Serena and Dan are finally broken up. Serena is actually an interesting character now, but also quite unlikeable. Everyone apart from Jenny is incredibly boring and Dan gets more annoying with every episode. Can't they write him out or something?

Heroes: And another meh. Season 2 was ok ish at the end cause stuff actually happened and I liked some of the characters in it, but this season seems to have gone back to just being slow and boring. "Sylar, I'm your mother", Claire who is special [didn't we all know that from her you know, healing abilities and the 'Save the cheerleader, Save the world' crap anyway?], copper who is on a quest, Hiro and his mate doing the same as always and oh look, we've run out of storylines and have brought in a twin. Original.. It was nice seeing Veronica Mars' Francis Capra though, shame him and Kristen Bell didn't have any scenes together.

Jam and Jerusalem: What a brilliant show! It takes a while getting used to it and it is quite slow, but so, so brilliant. I have to admit, I don't like the main character at all, but her daughter is very good. As are the other women of the guild, the rich Caroline with her constant remarks of her son's friends, for example the Kaiser Chiefs or how an Arctic Monkey broke her dishwasher. The schizophrenic Dawn French or Joanna Lumley.. Everyone is great and I can't wait for the next season!

Lost in Austen: Great program, I love how it shows a completely new light to Jane Austen and Jemima Rooper is a great actress. I'm not too convinced by the ending of this, I don't think it suited the series well, but at the end of the day anything but a happy end would have come out wrong. And it had Alex Kingston which I already liked a lot in ER back when it was still good. And no one felt sorry for her boyfriend back in London?

No Heroics: BBC3's new attempt at a comedy show and three episodes in I'm still not sure if I like it or if it's funny. It's an interesting concept having a bar for heroes in London where they're not allowed to use their powers and things like the fan meeting was funny. But the characters don't really seem to work, there is no explanation why the same four people always hang out together and the chemistry between them doesn't work. However, there are some great powers!

One Tree Hill: I dislike this season's One Tree Hill. The characters are all over the place and there doesn't seem to be any friendship between any of them. There's the whole Brooke storyline which none of her friends cared about much. I can't believe they all believed she fell down the stairs and ended up with two perfect black eyes?! The Nanny Carrie and Dan storyline, please give me a break and I hope to God she's dead, although I half expect her to come back as a ghost a la Keith. Talking about death, could they make Quentin's death any more predictable? And what's the deal with Mouth leaving and no one caring? Or the amazing relationship Lucas and Peyton now have that we never get to see? Or Peyton's dad? I do hope the show turns itself around again. Soon!

Privileged: I'm actually really starting to like this show! The main character is really growing on me as she doesn't seem to be the Miss goody two shoes she originally came across as. Going to be interesting what this show develops into.

Rosemary and Thyme: So predictable, so lighthearted, but still nice to watch. Although they're a bit over the top and dare I say annoying in the last season.

Secret Diary of a Call Girl: It's like the episodes get shorter and shorter. Every episode is 22 minutes long, but seems so much shorter. This show desperately needs some additional characters. Bambi is annoying, very annoying even, but she was/is at least something new in the show.

Star Trek Voyager: I've continued watching Voyager and am now on S4E22. Before I started watching it all I was under the impression I had watched most of it in the last years and that there were only a handful of episodes I had missed. How wrong was I?! So far there were about 40 episodes that I hadn't seen before and I wasn't aware that there was some sort of story arc prior to the Borg. The entire Kazon and Seska storyline was excellent, as well as the first hints at the Borg.

The Office: Another show that started again and it was actually a quite funny episode. I think I've been liking the Office more since Steve Carell isn't the main focus of episodes as I don't like him in anything I've seen him in. Great to see Ryan's back, he's been one of my favourite characters since the start. Oh and the engagement, predictable much?

The Sarah Jane Adventures: Oh, look, they're writing out the main character and her family. Yeah, that will go down well..

The Simpsons: Loved the intro with Bobba Fett and the carbonite, but that was about it. It was a lot of 'been there, done that', sadly. This is the 20th season though, so I am wondering if there is any originality left that most importantly doesn't mess up the continuity somehow.

True Blood: Still not fully convinced if I like this or not, but it's very addictive at the same time. The accents are so very incredibly annoying though and the main character I look forward to now is Tara as everyone else doesn't appear to have more to them.

Weeds: Loved the season finale and definitely didn't see that coming which is something I've said about the last few finale's as well, I believe! Bring on the next season where everything should be very different all over again!

And then there's Strictly Come Dancing which I've really enjoyed so far! It's the first time I've watched it and it sort of makes me regret not having watched it the last years.

And I've watched a great documentary on Jacqueline du Pré who played on of my favourite classical pieces, Elgar's Cello Concerto in E Minor.

Also can't wait for CSI to start again soon!