EDMONTON (CP) - Ralph Klein says he wouldn't be Alberta's premier today and he could be dead by now if he'd kept up his heavy drinking. The premier swore off the bottle in 2001 after a night on the town which ended with him swearing at men at a homeless shelter and throwing money at them. But in year-end media interviews this week he acknowledged he continues to have the odd drink. "I probably would have died of liver disease," Klein said in one such interview with The Canadian Press. "It's not only unhealthy, but it's politically unhealthy. Mentally unhealthy." Klein conceded he has had a few drinks in the last year, but there have been differing accounts of how often and how much. After his encounter at the homeless shelter, Klein admitted that boozing had taken a toll on his ability to carry out his duties as premier. "I do know I have a problem, and I do know I'm going to deal with it," he said at the time as tears rolled down his cheeks. "I am going to go as long as I possibly can and hopefully end this journey without having another drink . . . one day at a time." Klein also said then that he had considered resigning. "When you get up and you are feeling rotten and you wonder, 'Gee, I feel this badly, do I really want to get on and do the work of the day,' you bring yourself around to do it, but it is a lot better to do it with an absolutely clear head." Klein admitted he drank the equivalent of a bottle of wine every day." this is all true? you really believe him??? His decades of alcohol did not cause any brain damage now too? How come also very few other people can give up drinking alcoholic that easy now too? His still often odd behavior, emotional outburst is not associated with his alcohol problem?

Ahhhh nothing like a midday drinking fest...

Thats right...as promised...

Devonte indulged...

Just got in from what seemed like an endless stream of liquor...

Now its time to wind it down and get ready for part deux...

The football extravaganza...

Al Bundy special...

Football...food...and burping...

I'll check back in tomorrow...

Purple haze is calling my name...

Logical

D.Smith

Alcoholics dream!

No more lonely nights with the bottle!

No more borring conversations with yourself!

I present too you: VIRTUAL DRINKING BUDDY!

He will Drink, Watch you drink, Tell you stories, and Say a toast.

What else can you wish for?

CHECK OUT DRINKING BUDDY HERE

Well the Fulmer death clock continues to tick...as always be expecting a full game grade tomorrow after I watch a tape of the game today.

Don't look now but UCONN is 5-0, you should expect them to be ranked.

Michigan State is a contender for now...but for some reason they always implode mid season.

Speaking of imploding, Syracuse actually led Pittsburgh but ultimately lost. There's internet chatter about Lloyd Carr becoming the next Orangemen coach.

Clemson...WTF? Oh, wait my mistake...the annual Tommy Bowden fail is occurring.

Northwestern is 5-0 and Iowa still sucks.

The miracle that occurred in the Miami-North Carolina game was amazing to watch.

Gee. Urban...is fourth down and one yard to go. You trail by one with time quickly ticking away. Why didn't you try the 49 yard field goal? Was it arrogance? At least update the play book and run something other than a Tebow keeper. Great win for Ole Miss and the Rev. Nutt.

Fresno state continues to win and I love it.

I'm getting sick and damn tired of seeing that stupid Olive Garden commercial that they were over playing last year.

I hate F$U when I pick them to win, they let down. Win I pick to lose they win. Bastards!

Look out Notre Dame is 3-1 let's place them in the Top 5 stat!

Rich "Dirty Sanchez" Rodriguez gets a huge...huge win against a top 10 Wisconsin team.

I hope you enjoyed your visit to the top 25 East Carolina because it is officially over.

Wow...Navy beats Wake Forest...just how bad does the ACC suck?

Oklahoma should have scored more points than they did.

South Carolina struggled against a UAB team that Tennessee blew out...interesting.

Wow Miss. State does have an offense after all, to bad they lost though.

Look for South Florida to enter the top 10 this week.

Welcome back Virginia Tech. however the first year Nebraska coach actually helped your cause by getting a 15 yard penalty for "debating" a call with the ref.

I hope Ty Willingham has called North American Moving by now.

What can I say about Alabama...other than they cheat, but they laid it on Georgia. Anyone else notice that Nick Saban is sporting the Behr Bryant alcoholism red nose?

Don't look now but Duke is 3-1 and the Virginia coach is probably and should be suicidal at this point.

Joe Pa rules bitches but give the fighting Zookers credit for keeping it respectable.

I'm drowning myself in the only vices I have left. coffee, nicotine, and music.

He's left me again. He's disease wrapped around, fresh in the warmth were I use to be.

I'm now left to fill up my dance card with rage, fear, tears, self blame and confusion. So many "if onlys" they could fill every entry.   I stare at his things...still lingering with his musk. The smell that use to feel like home, now only waffs of heartbreak.

The apartment so cold. Emtey...like me. I've been betrayed, over,, and over, and over, and then some. Money gone, sleepless night, police search, trust out the window. I'm so tired. Just spent on holding it all together. I've been fighting my way through this year. This first year of sober/clean hell. I'm so sick of Drama, and pain. I thought the hurting would stop. But now..with not to sink to the bottom of, I'm left with raw emotion.

How did we get from talks of weddings to you moving. How did we get from planning our future, to you running away.

It has always be me running in the past. And the first time I open up and "stick", I've been run away from.

I just don't want to feel anymore. just for a moment. just for a day.

I see him in everything. Two girls were speaking french on the streetcar today, and I thought I was going to drop to the floor and loose it right there. I bit my lip so hard it almost bled.

They room I sit in was our room.

I glare at your plants. I've always hated your plants. Maybe because you took better care of them, then you did of us.

so now, I pack your things in garbage bags. wondering if you're still alive, and if I'll ever hear form you again. And beating myself up because I know you. ..I truly know the healthy you.

And fuck you....I love you.

I feel like a surgeon, as I prepare the lastest patch. But this time is different. This time it's over my heart.

"I'm faking it til I'm pseudo making it
From scratch begin again but this time I as i
And not as we"

The Service for the Underserved claims to help people with mental illness and addiction problems but at this Beach house facilities at 318 Beach 85th street in Rockaway Beach New York does not do anything. They have no groups, no meeting and no case manager care.

Oh yes they have case managers but like McDonalds they come and go in a matter of months at the expense of the clients.

The Program Director has yet to answer, "What is the Program here"

Sabrina Soto, the assistant manager blames everything on the clients.

When recently asked why Bob's chart hasn't been update in 12 years she says, "He didn't do it." Bob didn't work here. Let me explain more:

Bob Doherty was an intelligent man. He was a war hero but he was also a alcoholic who walked around this beach house with glasses of vodka in his hands and would drink it right in front of the Program Manager Mr. Bagget and he would not say anything. I have video of those times.

So Bob was here to get help and when he first got here 12 or 15 years ago all he had was books. They asked him if anything should ever happen to him what should they do with his books and he said, "Donate them to the library."

Fast forward 12 years and Bob now has a entertainment center with hundreds of CD and DVD movies and 9 large speakers and woofers.

SUS (The Service for the Underserved) claims to have monthly meetings and room checks each month so lets ad this up:

SUS has the files, SUS does monthly meeting with their clients, SUS has the case managers who write in those files. We don't see those files.

So the same case manager going into his room every month seeing all this stuff never asked Bob about where his stuff should go if anything should happen?

Thier SUS's files and Sabrina Soto is blaiming the clients for not updating them.

In 12 years with all his equipment and his intelligents I am totally sure that he would not say, "Donate my high def Television to the library.

The service for the underserved truly is not. The self service for the staff is. Now the last man to die here a year ago had all his stuff stolen by staff.

The Staff here is now waiting for me to move so they can finish stealing Bob's stuff

The Wiz

Originally uploaded by JamesClaiborneJr

So I often like to look a a group of strangers interacting and come up with a storyline... lol but this one stumped me, any takers?

Things I have learned (to do or not to do) when living with an alcoholic:

1. As stated in my previous post, don't let them egg you into fights. It's easier said than done, and you'll be swallowing a lot of hurt, but please just don't do it. Save your hurt for later, when they are sober and can see what they've really done by their actions.

2. It is not your fault. It began a long time before you came into the picture. Let me repeat:

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

- no one ever told me that. I had to figure that one out myself, too. There's no Living With An Alcoholic class they place you in when you're a kid or teen or college age person, or any age for that matter. I'm sure if you've found my blog by using the tag "living with an alcoholic" as many of you do, you know this by now.

3. Realize there are reasons why they drink. They are much more complicated than you'll ever be able to understand - however, the addiction is the simplest part to understand. They. Just. Can't. STOP.

4. Don't pick fights with them while they're drunk. That's their job. Leave your comments/screaming/shouting/crying to when they are sober. It has more of an impact. Did I say this already? Good.

5. They will not wake up one day and decide, "I'll quit drinking today!" and manage to do it. It doesn't happen. Stop hoping for it. Stop hoping; start acting.

I can't count the number of times I've cried because of something he's said or done while he was drunk. I cannot count the fights, I cannot count the wasted money, I cannot count the cases or bottles. There are too many, there is too much. If he knew about this blog and read it, what might he say? He'd be angry, he'd be upset, he'd say I'm telling lies? I don't know. I don't care. I'm done putting forth the effort to react to him anymore. I'm done reacting. He's going to start acting or I will act my way out the door.

6. Make up your mind if you're going to either: a) lie down and take it and think that this is all there is - that you are hopelessly stuck loving someone who has such a terrible addiction or b) fight tooth and fucking nail for them to wake up and continually reinforce that their behavior is unacceptable. It's a hard choice. Thus far I've chosen (b). We'll see if any of it helps/hurts worse...

7. Don't ever let them scream at you. During said phone conversation mentioned in the previous post, he literally screamed at me, so loudly that I couldn't understand what he said. I asked him what he said, then he said, "Fuck it, I'm done." and hung up on me. The next day, I mentioned this and advised him that I will NOT tolerate him behaving like a 2 year-old and will not tolerate him treating me like a little child, and will not tolerate this type of behavior any longer. This is what broke the last straw for me. He literally screamed at me, which he's never done before. I don't deserve that; neither do you.

8. You deserve respect and love and to be treated in all aspects of your life as a loved human being. If they cannot manage that, then they are just not worth it.

9. If all else fails, move the fuck out.

                                                    Nitin .K. Sethi, MD

                                            Assistant Professor of Neurology

                                            New York-Presbyterian Hospital

                                              Weill Cornell Medical Center

                                                New York, NY 10065

I am big on vitamins both when it comes to taking it myself and recommending it to my patients. So my interest was naturally piqued when I read an article in the journal Neurology titled " Vitamin B12  status and rate of brain volume loss in community-dwelling elderly" by Vogiatzoglou et al. The authors investigated the relationship between markers of Vitamin B12 status and brain volume loss in an elderly population. They concluded that low levels of vitamin B12 may contribute to brain volume loss (cerebral atrophy) and may be one of the causes of subsequent cognitive impairment in this population. So how do we interpret this data?

Can vitamin B12 intake prevent the onset of dementia.?

 If so how much of this vitamin should one take?

And at what age should one start taking this?

Questions for which we still do not have good answers. As I see it, vitamin B12 is pretty innocuous (side-effects are few if any) and thus can be safely taken by the majority of people. Moreover it is cheap (as unlike some other vitamins and anti-oxidants in the market eg coenzyme Q10). Dementia is a devastating neurodegenerative condition for which at present there is no cure. If vitamin B12 intake prevents cerebral atrophy then it may be worthwhile recommending it to my patients.

The elderly are a vulnerable population group. Many times their diet is marginal and thus they are prone to having nutritional (vitamin) deficiencies.  Other vulnerable groups include alcoholics (people who drink heavily, usually have marginal diets and thus are prone to vitamin deficiencies), people who have conditions which prevent the body from absorbing vitamin B12 example pernicious anemia, those who have had bowel surgery, Crohn's diseases, ulcerative colitis etc.

Vitamin B12 is present in meat including fish, poultry, eggs, milk, and milk products. It is important for neuronal function and also helps to maintain healthy red blood cells. So deficiency is more commonly seen in vegetarians especially those who do not have even milk or milk products. It is this group whom I feel shall surely benefit from vitamin B12 dietary supplementation.

At what age should one start taking Vitamin B12 is difficult to answer. Vitamin B12 is stored in the liver and so a person who eats a healthy diet should have ample reserves of this vitamin and does not need supplementation. I usually check the vitamin B12 status of my patients especially those who are elderly or suffering from a chronic medical condition. This can be done by a simple blood test. If they are deficient, I prescribe vitamin B12 (vitamin B12 comes in tablet form. In patients who have very low stores, we sometimes give them a shot of vitamin B12 intramuscularly).

As for the rest of us ("healthy" and not too old) what should we do? One way would be to take a tablet of multivitamin a day. Most good multivitamin combinations do have B12 in them. That is what I do!!!

" the mind is a wonderful thing and a healthy mind is truly beautiful"

So for those of you who missed it (and might I first congratulate you on successfully finding a better way to spend your time), I thought I'd fill you in on a few of the major plot points the season premier touched on. So far, we've got:

1. Cheating boyfriends
2. Not one but TWO high-school pranks
3. 2 token minorities
4. An illegitimate child
5. A 'hot' teacher
6. A new principal
7. One false new friend
8. One back-stabbing former best friend (with matching tattoos)
9. The new girl taking over the school's musical with her exceptional talent (and horribly enthusiastic dancing)
10. One convertible Bentley
11. A first date w/ the school's hottest guy...who drives afore mentioned Bentley
12. Above mentioned first date took place in San Francisco (destination was reached by way of hot guy's private jet--of course!)
13. An alcoholic granny
14. A plagiarised term paper
15. Several scenes at the infamous Peach Pit (Nat hasn't aged a day, by the way)
17. A drug deal (hidden in a cubby cut out of a fake text book...very stealthy)
18. A Sweet-16 party that would put MTV's "My Super Sweet 16" to shame
19. A bevy of catchy, pop/rock/emo bands providing the soundtrack
20. Oh--and one Porn King

I figure in Episode 2 we'll have our token teen pregnancy...and then I'm not sure what they'll do. We may be bidding farewell to America's most stereotypical zip-code earlier than expected.

Poor Aaron Spelling....is nothing sacred anymore?

I talked to a few of my Aunts down there that I have met a couple times while they were visiting here.

I am more confused then ever before when it comes to my dad. Some of the stuff they told me. I don't know. All I can say is that I made that first step and called the hospital. I left that door open should he chose to walk through it when he gets better.

No matter what happens from all this, it will change everything. Should he walk through that door that I opened, I could end up having a dad. Should he not, then that door is closed and I no longer have to wonder about "what could be", "what if...." I will know one way or the other.

I am not entirely sure if I made the right decision. But when I stopped to think of "it might be too late" I figured it might be now or never so I took that step and called. If I am making a mistake, I will learn in time. If I am not, then I have nothing to worry about, right? I took a chance that I might not get again. I guess I will learn in time if it was the right thing to do or not............

My aunt told me that my dad was still an alcoholic. And that maybe now, he will go into rehab and get some help. They believed he OD'd. But they aren't sure and not sure what it could have been.

When grilling hot dogs, boil them in sangria first; they'll stay juicier, turn a beautiful dark red and best of all, lend a sublime fruit-flavor to the meat without making it gay.

Or do what I do, skip the grill, boil the dogs in sangria and enjoy. Unless you're a competitive eater, I recommend limiting your intake to 5 in one sitting or you'll die. Painfully.

Well he's in the news again. Not because the Yank'mees signed him to help with their ailing bullpen but because he allegedly assaulting a bartender after drinking 20 mugs of beer.

That's right 20! Top that all you would be alcoholics.

Irabu, became an unhappy former Yank'mee camper after his credit card was rejected. He "allegedly" pushed the bartender against the wall, pulled his hair and smashed at least nine liquor bottles at a bar in Osaka, western Japan, a police official said on condition of anonymity, citing department policy.

What no crane kick? What's up with that?

The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette : 50th Anniversary Edition clearly states that one is not allowed to assault the bartender until he or she has:

A.     Taken the keys away from your drunken ass

B.     Actually serve you beer in a glass

C.     Run three separate credit cards with no avail.

It's clear that Irabu was lawfully in the wrong and apparently lacks proper bar manners as well.

The bartender sustained no injuries. Irabu paid the bill with another credit card.

The police official said Irabu admitted the assault before spewing in the back of their nice clean Po Po car.

Irabu started his career with the Chiba Lotte Marines of Japan's Pacific League and joined the New York Yankees in 1997 on a four-year, $12.8 million.

He spent six seasons in the majors with the Yankees, Montreal Expos and Texas Rangers before signing with Japan's Hanshin Tigers in 2003. Irabu had a career major league record of 34-35 with a 5.15 ERA.

He retired in 2005 and currently lives in California.

Coming out to your family and friends is a truly humbling not to mention harrowing experience. But just merely coming out does not really mean that you’re out for life.

Is coming out once really enough or should one come out regularly?

Do some people come out and then when nobody’s watching sneak back into the relative safety of the closet?

Those people who have already come out had better pay heed. Unbeknown to yourself you may have become apathetic and gradually slipped back inside the protective lining of the familiar closet. An ongoing and relentless reaffirmation of your outness is the only insurance against the unthinkable. Only in this way can you arrest this scourge on outness. One must ensnare this cancer in a great and merciless pincer like movement and finally put it to rest whilst maintaining permanent vigilance.

A girl I know was out to her parents, brother and work colleagues only to end up so far back in the closet that she had ended up ensconced behind a 15 centimetre cement rendering of denial and shame. In denial terms she had entered a veritable vault.

That’s how insidiously subtle is the slim line between being in and out.

The line between gay and straight becomes very blurred when alcohol and drugs lower peoples inhibitions

The only difference between a lesbian and a straight woman is half a tablet of ecstasy. Conversely the difference between a gay and a straight man is half a six-pack of beer.

Jak Kennedy

Dear Anita:

I've been seeing "Bob" for about six months. He's a wonderful person, but he's dealing with so many problems in his life right now, that he's having a hard time coping.

His wife left him and won't let him see his kids, which is really frustrating for him. So he drinks a lot to relieve his pain. He's a total pussycat when he's sober, but he becomes very angry and unreasonable when he's drinking.

He's currently in anger management counseling for assaulting someone in a bar, even though he doesn't remember doing it.

My friends and family are all telling me that I'm an idiot for dating this guy, but I feel sorry for him, because he has so much potential. Someone just needs to give him a chance!

I know if he cut down on his drinking, he'd be fine.

Am I wrong to believe in the man I know he can be? --Seeing the Best in my Beau

Dear Seeing the Best:

You obviously have a kind heart and it's admirable for you to think "Bob" deserves a chance.

However, you're not Bob's mother, his nurse, or his therapist.

He abuses alcohol, has anger management issues, and is prone to violence---a lethal combination, indeed.

In light of this, I'll just cut to the chase: You should definitely stop dating this man.

There's nothing wrong with believing in someone's potential to change, but you don't have to be romantically involved with that someone in order to offer your support.

Bob has too many issues to give you what you deserve in a relationship, and, sooner or later, you'll tire of being the giver and caretaker and waiting around for the best in Bob to appear.

I know from experience what it's like to be around someone who's sweet when he's sober, but someone else entirely when he drinks. Trust me on this: unless Bob takes serious control of his drinking, his "potential" isn't going to ever see the light of day.

You seem a bit naive when you say he needs to "cut down" on his drinking.

If he's drinking to self-medicate; if he becomes angry and unreasonable when he drinks; if he's assaulted someone and can't remember doing it---the man needs professional help.

Fortunately, he's in an anger-management program right now, so his issues with alcohol will likely be addressed.

According to MayoClinic.com, these are some of the signs and symptoms of alcoholism or alcohol abuse:

• Denies having a drinking problem.
• Drinks alone or in secret.
• Is unable to limit the amount of alcohol he drinks.
• Does not remember conversations or commitments (sometimes referred to as "blacking out").
• Makes a ritual of having drinks before, with or after dinner, and becomes annoyed when this ritual is disturbed or questioned.
• Loses interest in activities and hobbies that used to bring pleasure.
• Feels a need or compulsion to drink.
• Becomes irritable when his usual drinking time nears, especially if alcohol isn't available.
• Keeps alcohol in unlikely places at home, at work, or in the car.
• Gulps drinks, orders doubles, becomes intoxicated intentionally to feel good, or drinks to feel "normal."
• Has legal problems or problems with relationships, employment or finances.
• Builds a tolerance to alcohol, so that he needs an increasing number of drinks to feel alcohol's effects.
• Experiences physical withdrawal symptoms, such as nausea, sweating and shaking, if he doesn't drink.

Bob probably won't handle your break-up well. He may even promise to quit drinking for you. However, alcoholics who are not ready to give up their addiction are very good at manipulation.

If he does offer to quit, tell him that you'll support him as a friend, but you are still ending the relationship.

If it will make you feel less guilty, you could suggest that if he remains sober for, say, the next eight months, you'll consider getting back together with him then---although, I don't recommend it. You've been seeing him for only six months, so you don't have a lot invested in the relationship. In which case, a clean break would be the best course of action for both of you.

Living, breathing human beings with psyches so fractured, they're almost immobilized, emotionally speaking. I once knew a man like this. For the longest time, I thought I was the one who was bringing the dysfunction into forefront of our relationship. In retrospect, I was merely responding to his lunacy.

How can you detect these broken people? They don't come with visible cracks, but they're there--just underneath the surface. It doesn't take long for the astute observer to notice that something is amiss. It's by their actions. Attentive at first; supportive in the beginning. Then comes the little white lies. They start out infrequently, but gain momentum. And all of sudden, you wake up one day, aware that you're already in too deep and panic ensues when you realize that his growing inability to be honest WILL BE a part of your relationship's vista. Sadly, the lies get bigger and bolder and soon, those little white ones become tinged with vivid anger and resentment. And these become the ugliest of colors.

He was a liar and I would imagine, he still is. He was always of the mindset that everyone else is at fault. He was never errant. The problem lied elsewhere. He drank too much. Way too much. Calling him a functioning alcoholic might be akin to saying a woman is just a little pregnant. But if you were around him enough, you noticed that either beer or a gallon of Jim Beam was never far from his reach. That bottle meant everything to him. He was a coward and alcohol gave him courage--or so he thought. Liquor filled in his character flaws--or so he thought. The problem was that his alcoholism was his biggest character flaw. And he never started a weekend, or ended one, without a bottle or case of something.

I used to ask him about his drinking and he'd glare at me then say pointedly, "It's a symptom of a bigger problem."

Meaning me.

My God, we were a match made in Hell. I'd always felt that Satan had a hand in the matchmaking process. What we had was horrible, hellish; we were never happy; not for one second of one minute. Why did I stay? Pathetically, I can't answer that. I only know why I eventually left. I wanted to continue living and I assure you a death of some sort would've awaited me had I stayed. It was that bad.

True, I waited too long to leave, but leave I did and that I don't regret doing at all. The abject horror that I experienced in that relationship had to have been karmic retribution for previous sins committed.

And let me be perfectly clear about the fact that I wasn't perfect. He drank and I reacted...poorly. But he dealt the first blow. He was never faithful and stayed out all night with another woman a mere three months into our relationship. He lied and he drank and drank and lied. But please note: one wasn't a catalyst for the other. He lied sober, too.

In the waning years of our union, I lost a very high profile position and in my line of work, you can never just slip into the private abyss of unemployment. No, when we get fired, it's accompanied with a press release and an article in the newspaper. I'd never been fired before and I took it hard. So, lapsed into a deep state of depression and that gave him permission to drink more; to cheat more. I sat there, broke, damaged all alone and sad beyond the realm of human comprehension. In my fit of depravity, I reacted to everything by eating pills like Pez. Our mutual dysfunction was reflective and refractive. But I can honestly say that hope was never lost; it never existed.

He was miserable and I lived in the depths of depression, rejection, non-existent self-esteem and a gut wrenching hopelessness that with Martin Scorsese-like attention to detail, directed the downward spiral.

I'd battled abandonment issues all of my life. This delightful combination of professional failure and his pulling away, put me over the edge. I was in a tremendous amount of pain and it had gotten to the point, where I didn't want to "feel" anymore.

But that was late 2003; this is mid 2008. How I survived isn't as important as the fact that I did survive and on top of that, time has been kind. Then again, I forced it to be. When it comes to being victimized by mental cruelty--your own and his, what other choice do you have? You gather your courage and then, you exact revenge. First by leaving, then by living well. No more, no less.

I woke up this morning thinking this. I also thought about life and regrets and the few that I have. Most are insignificant:

• I wanted to be an actress, but went into Broadcasting instead
• I wanted to graduate from the University of Texas, but instead got my degree from Southwest Texas State University
• I quit my first TV job because I thought I was in love

But my biggest regret; the one that creates intractable shame in the core of my very soul is the relationship I write about in this post. And the reason why I've chosen to write about it now is because I want its exit from my life made official. Let this serve as a public proclammation. I want the world to know that there isn't a single memory in the wasted seven year span that was our relationship, that is worthy of salvaging.

Make no mistake, I am over this man. The last nail of the relationship coffin had been hammered in a long time ago and the damn thing has been buried for as many years. In fact, he remarried and has moved but for a while there, I had to remind him of that fact. He has (or did have anyway) a terrible, terrible habit of remaining in close contact with all his exes, which meant his Rolodex was huge. It was the same with me after he got married and I know that his "wife" was in the dark about most of his actions and covert activities; as was I when we were together. Odd, that she and I would switch places. He cheated on me with her and there he was, married to her and trying to reestablish a connection with me. And he did it with Christmas gifts, birthday gifts; calls; cards...E-mails. Everything he gave me, I discarded, erased or destroyed. I even had to demand that he quit contacting me. Hearing his voice; seeing his name attached to an e-mail in my inbox created a visceral response.

For a while there, my family would bring up his name (which was rare, but it happened), I'd change the subject. If I saw his first name somewhere, such as on TV or on a billboard or something, I'd look away. And when I saw other people working in the same profession (and his had a particular mode of dress associated with it), I'd literally swallow hard or rub my throat in an attempt to force down bile and sputum.

But lately, I can hear his name and for a few moments, absolutely nothing registers. I have forgotten. I can see his name and think nothing of it. But when I see people with whom he shares a professional connection, the memories come flowing back. I hate it but can't help but remember. I respond simply by shaking my head in pity and feeling immense gratitude that I no longer have to be among them. These are people who while educated, skilled and entrusted, possess very little integrity,  generally speaking.  This deficit seems to part of the very nature of their business.

But life goes on. I am mercifully, not that same weak soul I was. I not only survived, but I evolved. Worse for the wear, but better for the tear. It's in the ongoing process of healing that I am becoming whole, perhaps for the first time in my life.

In terms of the ex, I know very little. I honestly don't know where he is; I don't know if he's still working or if he's still married , but if he is, I can be magnanimous enough to admit that I feel sorry for his wife; in spite of what she did to me. I have no idea as to what his character is like these days, but I'd imagine that he hasn't changed. His behaviors were so ingrained that modification seemed unlikely. I would like to think that he's emerged a different man, but like a leopard and its spots, I suspect he's also unable to change.

And the glory is that after all these years, I don't care. Apathy is a lovely and for me, a wonderfully covetous state of nothingness. I am there and it is a good place. I've forgiven me for allowing myself to live with his disease and mine. I've forgiven him, too and while liberating, all sentiment stops there. I don't wish him evil; I don't wish him well. I wish him "nothing".

In the years since stepping free, I have only asked for distance--emotionally and physically and I've wished to someday know a much greater love than he was capable of providing; I've asked to be introduced to the greatest love I've ever known.

Five years later? Wishes granted on all fronts.

,.

Eddie Floyd, a surgeon from Florence is one of the longest-serving and most influential members of USC's board of trustees believes Gamecocks athletes have been targeted by the university's police force.

"I feel they have overstepped in some areas," Floyd said Wednesday from his home in Florence. "After talking to some of the people, this is how I feel. And I always say what I feel, good or bad."

"My feeling is that (targeting athletes) has happened. I'm sure the administration may have a different opinion," Floyd said. "But certainly that's what I think."

Of course Dr. Floyd has no thing such as evidence to back this up but hey he claims he is going on his "gut feelings."

Since I virtually write about every Gamecock arrest I've have only found 2 football players arrested by campus police. One was Garcia & the other was Emanuel Cook. Both admitted they were guilty of the crimes they committed but hey Dr. Floyd believes they are caught in an elaborate trap by the campus police.

Floyd, whose contributions helped pay for the USC football office that bears his name, ain't snitching out who his sources are but said they were not from the Gamecocks athletics department.

Another longtime trustee disputes Floyd's claims and thinks the guy is off his rocker.

"I don't think anyone has targeted (athletes) whatsoever," said Mike Mungo, the longest-serving trustee in USC history with 36 years on the board. "I think the allegations are totally baseless, and I think I'm as well-informed as anyone at the university."

Mungo said university officials investigated the claims and found no evidence of a police conspiracy against athletes. Gee imagine that.

"Eddie can say what he want wants to say, but I don't believe that it's a fact," Mungo said.

Floyd first voiced his allegations to GamecockCentral.com, some lame-ass fan site. (I think all sites like this are lame)

Floyd told the site he believes Gamecocks quarterback Stephen Garcia was being watched by campus police in March when he and two teammates were cited for underage drinking outside the East Quad dormitory that houses many USC athletes.

Of course he fails to mention that all parties pleaded guilty.

This is where it gets good.

He also said he knew of an investigator with USC's police force whose office was decorated with Clemson's signature Tiger paws.

But Floyd pulled what is known as a "half-Saban" Wednesday, and admitted he knew little about the investigator whom he implied had a pro-Clemson bias. Basically he's an asshole.

"One of the investigators that had a tiger paw in his office, my understanding is he said it was a joke. I don't know," Floyd said. "I haven't looked at it. I haven't seen it. But that's what I heard."

Funny how bravely he can make those statements to a major (although lame-ass) Gamecock site and yet he has never seen it with his own eyes.

The shocking thing about all of this is he's right...sorta.

Enter operation:

"Let's nail that hippie freak Garcia!"

I saw the job opening in the Sunday paper I thought nothing of it. While I was watching "Friday Night Lights" I realized that character know as Tim Riggins is a hippified ass just like Garcia. Then I had a brilliant idea, I'm going to apply for the job.

I fill out the application go through the interview process and about one week later. I was Thomas the Terrible USC Po Po with an attitude.

Oh Gamecock football players were going to respect my authority and like it. However as a precautionary I went though 2 weeks of the toughest training one can receive by none other than The Rogue Cop (pictured below) of Chicken Curse Dot Com Blog & I paid attention to everything that man had to say except when the Spice channel was on in the background.

I also studied the bar fight scene in "Out For Justice" starring Steven Seagal, frame by frame in super slow motion...twice. Yeah I was ready to kick Kimbo Slice's ass!

For 5 weeks I patrolled the campus of South Carolina pretending to like the Gamecocks and busting heads along the way. I also stopped by the women's shower area on a frequent basis to make sure the plumbing was in order.

After those 2 weeks and 145 complaints of abuse of power and police brutality, I spotted my target Garcia. He was tooling around on his little Duiped moped. My first instinct was to go up and pop him from behind with my campus issued cattle prod then pepper spray him while he was rolling on the ground in agony & clock in the temple with my asp. After all that's what I had too do the day before to that little girl scout.  Selling cookies my ass soliciting is soliciting!

Instead I decided to wait and watch. Then on March 23^rd I found my chance. Garcia, Heath Batchelor the one known as the Amish one (pictured below), walk-on QB Zac Brindise & Garcia's older brother and Harvard grad Gary Garcia were between the East and South Quad dormitories sitting around telling fat girl jokes and making fart noises with their armpits.

I quickly went back to the station and changed into my disguise. An Under Amour replica Gamecock jersey, a pair of Duckhead shorts & a pair of Sebagos (no socks) there I looked like any other USC student.

I called Gary over handed him a cooler filled with Keystone Light the official beer of Gamecock students. I told him it was a gift from the boosters but he can not give any of it to the other three because he did I would have to run to store and buy more & I was about to watch Judge Judy. He said OK and thanks.

Some might think this is entrapment but in law enforcement we called it "being resourceful."

I ducked behind a tree to observe and sure enough my plan worked. Knowing that Gary Garcia was a graduate of Harvard I knew he would have no concerns of my feelings. Most Harvard grads don't care about others that's why they're dicks. Within 45 seconds all four were enjoying the refreshing taste of Keystone Light going down their throats.

I quickly double timed it back to the station and changed back into my uniform. I told the campus SWAT team of what was happening. Most smiled and some had an eerie gleam in their eye. No doubt they were remembering how Garcia wasn't expelled for keying a professor's car.

The thirty of us geared-up with tear gas, AR-15s, pepper spray and riot gear. We're going to actually take this scum and his brother off this campus today.

At the front of the station steps while everyone was present I stood before them and said "Today the Garcia brothers shall know what hell is because we going to bring it to those car-keying motherfuckers!!"

We all very quietly snuck to the women's shower area to do some "recon work" for about 2 hours and then made our way in to the lair of the Garcia brother and their sidekicks.

We swooped on them so fast they didn't know what hit them but they felt it, by God I made sure of that. Big Bubba stomped on Gary Garcia's head until it was shaped like an almond.

As I pulling Bubba off one of the suspects I saw Stephen Garcia trying to make a break for it out of the corner of my eye. He was about two feet from me. Sure I could have reached out and pulled him down by his hair like i did to the nun the prior week, but why have sweet-ass weapons if I'm not going to use them? Thinking quickly I took out his left knee cap from behind with a well placed bullet from my AR-15. I went ahead and shot the other knee cap as well. You know just in case.

The other suspects quickly surrendered after they saw their fallen ring leader was in custody & after being tasered 30 times apiece as well.

We hauled them down to the Richland County Detention Center (the football players dorm) and locked them up in solitary confinement and placed a canister of tear gas in there before closing the door.

It's amazing what you can give the local press in exchange of keeping out certain facts from going public. In this case two Zag-Nut candy bars and the threat of having a cattle prod placed on the family jewels did the trick.

I was exhausted. I went home, took a shower, went back to the women's shower area you know to make sure the plumbing was still working & went home again. I started watching "Friday Night Lights" and there was that damned hippified Tim Riggins again!

That's when I knew for every hippified douche-bag like Tim Riggins and Stephen Garcia I lock up there will always be more around. My mind was made up. I was going back to the civilian world besides a cops pay sucked ass and the benefits were for shit.

Before I left decorated Big Bubba's office with Clemson Tiger paws as a joke.

So the good Dr. Floyd is right and wrong at the same time. The USC campus police aren't really targeting athletes like Garcia they are targeting law breakers. The problem is that Garcia happens to be one of the bigger ones.

Don't worry about me since Garcia is back I've started surveillance on him and thankfully he lives closer to the women's shower area this time around. He shall know hell again before it is all over.

Man owns property. Man helps recovering addicts. County encourages man to continue. Man uses ranch as he wishes. City Councilwoman doesn't like looking at ranch. City Councilwoman pulls all her power to shut him down. County shuts down barn from man. County tells man to clean up ranch. County charges man with violations of codes. County threatens to clean it up and charge man with costs. DA takes case. Two judges recuse themselves in the case. Man may go to jail. Simple enough?

Now for more of an overview to get you on the same page here. The Devaul family has owned a 72 acre parcel on Los Osos Valley Rd. near Foothill Blvd. for several years. In fact, Dan DeVaul was born and raised on this ranch. He left for about 20 years, returning in 1985 and started Sunny Acres after that. This man has been helping recovering alcoholics and addicts in our area for about 9 years. In that much time, there have not been any police incidents out there. In fact, the one time they came out there, it was to pick up someone for something that happened before this person came to Mr. DeVaul. The irony is that they knew where to find this guy because Mr. DeVaul had been keeping him clean and sober.

He calls it a clean and sober recovery center. This is for people who fall through the cracks because they cannot support themselves or don't meet certain criteria to be helped by other organizations. Of course, as with any program, there is a failure rate, and there are those that stay with the program for several years. They have varying levels of recovery. They pay a little bit for rent, and work the ranch. Of course, the money is spread around to help those that cannot pay their way. That means it is more of a communal pot of money, to which Dan DeVaul adds to the pot to keep things going. 

Over the last 9 years, the government has even referred people who need help but SLO County cannot take care of. He started out with about half a dozen people, so he flew under the radar. As County Services got involved, they even brought a trailer out to the property to help him with a particular person they brought to him. To me, this seems like approval for the operation he had going there.

A few years ago, SLO County started after him to move dirt, remove trailers, and clean up the property. He did some of this then got a lawyer. SLO County and Army Corps of Engineers approved what he did. He tried to get a conditional use permit to add on to his home, but it would cost $400,000 including the studies. When he went before the planning commission, he found out that SLO City Councilwoman Christine Mulholland and neighbors were raising hell, and making such a stink that the County didn't want to deal with him. In fact, that's when the problems started.

I can't help but believe that maybe things got worse in the process of building the Temple next door. You will notice that they have hidden their building form the highway. In fact, they recently had our local representatives, Abel Maldonado and Blakeslee, at a ceremony celebrating the Temple. I don't really think they would start anything with a neighbor or make things worse, but they may have brought County inspectors for their project that may have been prejudiced against Mr. DeVaul. Let's not dwell on that possibility, though.

You don't give SLO County money and spend $400,000 to jump through their hoops and they don't like you any more, I guess. His operation got up to 75 residents, which is a good sized operation. You could run a successful ranch operation and make it a viable business. By February 2008, he had pared it down to 55. The problem is, they want him to get rid of all the housing for these people, and don't want to let him use the barn for housing. He just wants to be able to run his operation, get permits to make it happen, and move forward. Sure, SLO County only charges $10,000 for the permit, but the studies associated with that permit cost so much that it makes costs about $400k. 

Here is a man that grew up here, and is now at odds with the transplants from outside our area that live in homes that were developed in the last few years. What ever happened to being aware of where you are buying your home? If you buy a home near the airport, then you have to accept the noise, right? Nope. If you buy a home near the train tracks, you have to accept the noise and vibration, right? Nope. If you buy a home on a busy street, you have to put up with the traffic, right? Nope.

The city and county governments will listen to the loudest people. If you don't like airport noise, we will make them cut noise at night. If you don't like the trains, we will make them cut back on trains coming through. If you live on a busy street, they will put in signs and make the road smaller to slow people down. If you have money and a big mouth, you get whatever you want. Never mind the fact that these are the same conditions they put up with when they lived in OC or wherever they came from. They moved here to get away from that stuff, but didn't bother paying attention to where they were buying their new home. They got taken by the developers. Make the developers pay for not disclosing these things to you when you bought your home.

What kind of government doesn't listen to the majority? That brings us to my point about the government official that is using her position, clout, and connections to get this railroaded. You realize that this is being spearheaded by one of your government officials ONLY in her own self interest, right? I wonder how much city resource is used up with her time and other costs to make this happen for herself. I wonder what favors she is going to have to owe after this or has already given.

This is all after the way she treated the County with disrespect. I was at the SLO City Council meeting where she totally dissed the SLO County over a board they were convening for city input on something. Ms. Mulholland also went to a meeting the county had and caused a big ruckus. She seems to me to have a big mouth and not know how to contain herself. I watched her one time during a city council meeting almost jumping up and down, raising her voice, ranting like a child because other council members didn't agree with her. It was such a childish display that I was embarrassed for the youth that were there watching this meeting. It was worse than junior high school (they call it "middle school" now, so the kids won't feel inferior, I guess).

Let's get back to the numbers and how Christine Mulholland mixes in here. Christine happens to live where she has a view of Sunny Acres. Of course, she has the city throw all sorts of money to the ECOSLO Maxine Lewis Shelter every year, thousands of dollars, in fact. Of course, Christine lives in a nice expensive home in a nice expensive neighborhood. "I have and you don't, so go someplace else" attitudes are sickening. That is exactly what seems to be happening with Christine Mulholland. Oh, she is a good liberal, though. She supports the environment and people. Right.

Let's take a look at Christine's past. She has been in charge of ECOSLO. That organization takes money from the city, and she votes for it every time. Is it coincidence? But is she fair with other causes and needs?

When it comes to Maxine Lewis shelter, she votes more and more money. When the SLO PD came with a binding arbitration for fair pay, she said, "It's not a fair increase. It's far beyond any increases that other groups have gotten from the city negotiations." Well, Ms. Mulholland, maybe it was because you did not give fair increases before all of this. You were too busy throwing money to your friends at ECOSLO.

Talk about an eyesore, have you ever gone by that place around 5:00 p.m.? When they start letting people in for their meals, you see them walking down the sidewalk smoking like chimneys, coming out of the creeks (almost getting run over crossing Orcutt Rd.), parking their motorhomes/campers/live-in cars on the street and around the corner, dirty rags, smoking, filthy, and representing the neighborhood. Oh, maybe we should put one of those where Christine lives, and see how much money she throws at it. Oh wait, Mr. DeVaul has a cleaner operation and she doesn't even like that. I guess "Not In My Back Yard" explains it all. NIMBY Mulholland. 

Remember when KSBY first got the peacock mascot costume and had a contest to name the mascot? They came up with "KiSBY" for it. As I recall, it was a contest for kids, but I seem to remember an adult winning. Maybe my memory is wrong, but that is just a side note anyway. What adult competes with kids? Selfish ones like maybe Ms. Mulholland might be? I think we should come up with a mascot for Councilwoman Mulholland. Let's make it a wrinkled up pumpkin with a scowl on it's face and call it NIMMBY for "Not In Ms. Mullholland's Back Yard." That works for me. Of course, you can submit your own entries by comments on this blog. Maybe we should send the results to NIMMBY Mulholland. Let's just call her NIMMBY for short.

Back to the massive amounts of money NIMMBY sends to her friends at ECOSLO. Who were her original supporters for her office? You know she is a member of the Green Party, right? Dr. Richard Kresja is a former SLO County Supervisor, Cal Poly professor, and noted greeny. This means he puts the flora and fauna above all needs of humans. She was also supported by Kurt Kupper, another former SLO County Supervisor (for the district that Greeny Adam Hill won - I can see more money for ECOSLO coming!), and Director of ECOSLO. He also owns the Establishment, a student housing unit near Gus's Grocery. He goes before the city regularly for more money and the use of city property for ECOSLO. In fact, he typically gets a 5 year agreement for city property on Prado Rd. Then he has the nerve to complain that it is windy. He has also worked steady to end growth in SLO County.

Do you see a pattern emerging? Maybe when Mr. DeVaul operates his center, ECOSLO is afraid they will lose money and people. After all, if you put all those people out on the street, then ECOSLO will count them in their pleas for money, and get more cash. Look, it is one thing to be competitive when you have a business, but shouldn't ALL organizations help the homeless and needy? It shouldn't be about ECOSLO getting more money for their programs. If they become self sufficient through Mr. DeVaul, then ECOSLO doesn't get the numbers they would otherwise have. Can you imagine how much more money ECOSLO would get if they had those 55 people in their system? That is a lot of money. THAT is what this is all about. I think we just broke the case.

NIMMBY was also supported by the Santa Lucia Chapter of Sierra Club and has been pretty consistent in her opposition to growth. She has been against raising the height of buildings downtown because we will lose our views from the sidewalk and around the city, she opposes other projects almost consistently, but not effectively. In fact, it is almost as if she pays lip service to her supporters to look good, but doesn't really do anything about it... unless it is in her back yard. How can I say that when she has opposed so many projects?

Compare the way she handles her personal pet problem with the way she handles the things she pays lip service to. If she was truly opposed to these things, she would go about it with as much vigor and gusto as she does for her own NIMMBY project. Yep, that's right. When it involves her, she turns up the heat. When it doesn't, she just wants to look good. Her voting record may appease her supporters, but her actions should show that she doesn't truly believe in her own votes. She would be much more proactive and effective if she did. PROOF that she is a fraud when it comes to appeasing her supporters? It appears so to me.

Speaking of why she is so adamant and pushing so hard for this to be done right away, we are coming up on a deadline for her. She will no longer be able to bring the forces of the city upon Mr. DeVaul and the county after this year. Why not? She is up against term limits. THAT is perhaps why this is stepped up so much. She has one last hoorah to make herself look good before moving on in politics, or retiring sadly to her home life (I doubt this is the end of NIMMBY, let's watch ECOSLO and what they pay her). In fact, to possibly hedge her bets to keep this going, just this year she made cash donations to Adam Hill and Jim Patterson. Might as well invest nearly $500 to get her way. That is pretty cheap these days. By the way, those are the same candidates Dr. Kresja supported with donations.

So, here we have a rancher that has junk on his property. He intends to help people, and make this a good facility for them. The County goes after him for compliance. Let's take a look at what this means.

• By September 1, DeVaul must remove all people living in mobile homes and RV's on his property.
• He must close his roadside stand, unless he sells at least 50% grown or produced on the property.
• By October 1, DeVaul has to remove commercial vehicles, mobile homes, and reduce outdoor storage.
• He must keep the number of cars down to two (just like the Cal Poly students renting homes on the other side of the hill from him).
• By December 1, DeVaul must either demolish the barn, or get permits to make it inhabitable.

Can you believe that they are actually taking this man to court and want him to spend time in jail for those things? That's right, they are trying to prosecute him. The problem is, they keep losing judges. The DA took this case to prosecute, because they have nothing more important to do, like investigating fraud in the CPS and Foster Care services in this county. The most pressing issue for them is to put Mr. DeVaul in jail. I think they should put NIMMBY in jail for misuse and abuse of her powers and position as a politician. I think that is much more criminal than Mr. DeVaul's actions. 

They can't even get a judge to hear the case. First Judge Dodie Harman recused herself and said she didn't believe Mr. DeVaul had violated any laws. Then Judge Jac Crawford recused himself citing conflict of interest. The new judge has set things another month away. That gives him a month to find an excuse to drop out also. I don't think any of the judges really want to do this to the man. I think they see what is going on here and are having their own version of a "blue flu" epidemic. Too bad they don't do that on other cases that make no sense.

Last of all, you need to look at the way this is being handled. Can you tell me that there are no other ranches in this county that have the same circumstances other than a neighbor named Christine Mulholland and a recovery center? How many ranches have extra trailers and mobile homes? How many ranches have junk on their property? How many ranches have farm equipment and vehicles on their property? How many ranches have excess dirt and debris on their property? How many ranches have even more conditions on their property that should be taken care of? I am warning you. If you are one of those ranches, all it takes is to have a Christine Mulholland move into your neighborhood, then YOU will be in trouble too.

Oh wait, I wonder what she has done to her neighbors. If she hasn't done anything yet, they better watch out. If she gets more time at home, she may find something there to complain about, too. They better take this time to spiff up their own yards.

Be a smart voter. Go to http://www.smartvoter.org/ and input your zip code to get your ballot. As you can see, you get what you vote for, and you deserve what you get. If you fail to vote, you fail to contribute to your future. You need to take a stand. Support common sense, support the right politicians, and support Dan DeVaul. Let Christine Mulholland know how you feel about her opposition to this fine project. Email her and let her know you support Mr. DeVaul and resent her use and abuse of power and position for personal benefit and that of ECOSLO, as well as the trust of voters and constituents. Christine Mulholland (805) 781-7598 or Email her at cmulholland@slocity.org

If you don't do something, then you don't deserve fair representation. If you let another Greeny in there, it will be business as usual. Because you get rid of Christine Mulholland due to term limits, you have a clean slate and a chance to make a better future for the residents of the City of San Luis Obispo.

As far as Dan DeVaul, I have this to say. Mr. DeVaul, I know you removed some eucalyptus already, but I think you need to line the highway with eucalyptus trees. Once you do that, they won't have such a clear view of your property. Unfortunately, it may also obscure their views of the lake and foothill, but I do believe you have that right with your property. Start a eucalyptus farm and sell the leaves on eBay. People will buy it to line their dog's beds for fleas. Maybe Christine could use a few around her bed. I hear dirty dogs have more fleas. 

So I ask you, should Dan DeVaul go to jail for keeping a messy ranch, or should Christine Mulholland go to jail for misuse and abuse of power? You make the call.

The Opinionator

Let's break it down peeps.

1. University of Florida. Guns, sweet sticky icky weed & Tebow.

2. University of Mississippi. The Grove, the cheerleaders & Jerrell Powe

3. Penn State University. Joe Pa, a shitload of arrests and the Penn State Paranormal Research Society

4. West Virginia University. Deliverance, igniting couches & Rich Rodriguez

5. Ohio University. At least they can beat tOSU at something

6. Randolph-Macon College. Who the hell is this? Seriously

7. University of Georgia. Uga, the umpteen million personalities Herschel Walker & fans that paint their heads

8. University of Texas. Dope head/actor Matthew Mcconaughey, Bevo & Mac Brown

9. University of California-Santa Barbara. Mascot looks like a psychotic Hamburglar

10. Florida State University The Cowgirls, Bowden & wondering if he will ever retire.

11. University of New Hampshire. Like there is anything better to do there.

12. University of Iowa. Sex scandal, Haden Frye and still sucking at football

13. University of Colorado. Ralphie, Hawkins and see above

14. University of Indiana. Bobby Knight, text messaging fool Sampson & basketball season doesn't look good next year

15. Tulane University. The green wave due to puke

16. University of Illinois. The Fighter Zookers enough said

17. Arizona State University. Ugly school colors, PAC 10 & Eckerson NCAA sanctions to follow

18. University of Tennessee. GO VOLS! Cumberland Ave. Rocky Top & Smokey!

19. University of Alabama. Cheaters, Dead Behr & Subpoenas

20. Loyola University. The French Quarter and attempting to out drink Tulane.